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My 80 year old father has gone further into hypochondria and is now popping loratabs(pain killers) like m & m's. His enabling wife allows this and is fully aware. He constantly bullies her to get them, and they both lie to the doctor about ALL of his meds. Any suggestions on what to do? He's killing himself and she is helping him do it

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Your profile doesn't mention what his underlying infirmities are, nor what your role is. That might help get more specific responses.

I don't suppose that his hypochondria and dependence on pain pills started at age 80 or 75 or 70 ... or did it? Is this new behavior? If his wife (not your mother?) confided in you and wanted your help with this, together you might come up with a plan with his doctor. But it doesn't sound like that is the case here.

I'm not real optimistic that you are going to be able to have a big impact on this situation. Continue to love him and interact with him, but you may just have to accept that you can't solve this problem.
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Walk away. Go to an Al-anon meeting and understand the addiction process. Realize you cannot fix the addict. Don't expect the wife to change him, that generation has a strict division of authority. If he interferes with her kitchen, she would stop him cold and starve him to death. Beyond that he is the master of his own destiny. He is not fooling the MD either, who has seen his type before. Lortabs like candy, perhaps to annoy you, but if he was doing this all the time his bowels would be as solid as a rock.
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