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How much laundry do you want to do?
Disposable is easy, convenient when out traveling or just out for the day.
Washable more economical and environmentally friendly
Just like the disposable you will have to look for brands that fit and work well.
I would do a Google search and really read reviews of the reusable products and see what is said about the quality, the durability, how they fit and any guarantee if any. With the disposables many places will send sample packs so that you can try the product.
OH, with the reusable products will it REQUIRE a waterproof outer pant in order to maintain the "waterproofness, leakproofness" of the product. That might be a deal breaker for me. They are more difficult/ delicate to wash, they should not be dried in the dryer so you have to have quite a few extra.
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Fred3202 Dec 2022
Thank you for the quick reply. I have done a Google search, that's why I came here for advice. The response on Google was so confusing, most ot the comments were advertisements - so of course they are positive toward the brand they're selling. I wanted first hand experience...and I think that's what is posted here by all of those who answered. I have requested samples from a Co. called "Because" - But they peed me off when I accepted their offer of samples with only a couple of bucks for shipping - then tried to sell all sorts of other items. I'll try their sample, but am already set to turn them down because of that. I use a mattress cover, have three of them. Learned after washing one of them that they lose their protection when washed with bleach. Have had to wash the bedding about two - three times a week recently. Wifes MD has her on a med. that is supposed to help with incontinence, but does not seem to be working very well. Thank you again for the response.
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Surely you are not looking for a 'washable' diaper type product for an ADULT? The thought of that is beyond repulsive to me; it would have been bad enough with a baby (which I refused to do & only bought disposables) but with an adult, the thought of having to wash soiled briefs in the washing machine or by hand, even worse, is too much to bear. My folks wore Depends pull up DISPOSABLE briefs, the extra night-time absorbency ones for overnight. If your wife requires tab-type adult diapers, I can't help you with suggestions b/c I'm not sure.

Medline puts out a huge, very absorbent disposable Extrasorbs bed pad that will hold a gallon of fluid. You can get them here:

https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2MWRO0DOPHPKY&keywords=medline+extrasorbs+premium+underpads+30+x+36&qid=1672443492&sprefix=medline+extrasorbs%2Caps%2C386&sr=8-5

If you want to launder wet bed pads, these are quite good, although again, it's a nasty job:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08SY6N9TL?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder-t1_ypp_rep_k0_1_13&=&crid=3FAF5WTQ2L8GW&=&sprefix=washable+bed+

Keep your own needs in mind, your age, the fact that you're already working very hard to care for a wife with dementia and a LOT of needs. The last thing you need in your life is to be dealing with huge loads of nasty laundry a few times a day. I'd go with disposable products, one and all. You can have those washable pads on hand to try them out, if you'd like.........but those Extrasorbs are AH-MAZING. Expensive, but unbeatable.

Best of luck.
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Fred3202 Dec 2022
Thank you for the advice. I will definitely look at the sites you suggest. I was leaning to the washable product, but you've given me some pause. I might go with both initially, to get a feel for what I might be settling myself up for.
The  Extrasorbs sound like something that may do the job for me, have to check to see if they provide samples for comparison purposes.
Thank you.
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I feel for you. My Mom used to hide the fact that she wet the bed. She would clean up the area with clean towels, then put the towel back with the clean towels. This action is what tipped the scales for me to put my Mom into Managed Care.

In case you are not aware, there are quite a few sizes of reuseable (washable) waterproof pads on the market (I get mine from Amazon). This is far, far, far less expensive option than using disposable liners. If you are worried about sanitation of your laundry, there are laundry sanitizers that you can use when you wash clothes (laundry sanitizer is available at the large discount stores and warehouses).

For her bed, I got a reusable (washable) pad that was large enough so that it covered the bed nearly top to bottom, and wide enough so that I could wrap it around the side of her bed and protect about 3/4 the width of her bed.

I also got smaller pads for the dining room chairs and her wheelchair. I looked for a car seat cover that was waterproof and stayed in place, however, I haven't found one. Right now, I'm using a pad that is large enough to drape over the side and on the seat itself.

Her floors were wood, so we didn't have to worry about wetting the carpet. We used OdorBan on the tile on her bathroom because she would let go, on her way to sitting down on the toilet, or get up out of the toilet before the stream stopped. Our only clue was that her clothes and floor were wet. She claimed that she sat down on water.

My Mom uses Depends (from Costco), however, she sometimes has puddles and we are at a loss as to how that is happening. Even though the Depends are pull on, they are designed so that you can tear them off at the side.

My Mom is now in a Memory Care unit. They take her to the bathroom at set times. She can tell when she needs to go to the bathroom to do #2, however, has no idea (or control) when she urinates.

If you are eeky about her sleeping when she has wet the bed, you can get a bed alarm.

If she has trouble holding until she can get to the bathroom, I suggest that you get her a bedside commode.

Good luck to you and your journey.
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Fred3202 Dec 2022
Fortunately my wife does not attempt to hide the fact that the bed is wet - instead, she blames me. She wakes up and tells me about it. she then goes in the other room to watch TV, while I do the cleaning up and making the bed with fresh sheets, etc. I've already purchased pads for her chair. I'll have to look for the laundry sanitizer - do you have a product name for them?
Thanks again for the good advice
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Hello,

I used the pads for the bed from Amazon that ChoppedLiver described, and a waterproof mattress pad.
Lysol makes a liquid laundry disinfectant, Oxiclean makes a powdered one, but it can be expensive. If you use just bleach, use 1/2 cup for regular washers, 1/4 cup for HE washers.

If you belong to a bulk store, like Sam's, Costco, or BJ's, their house brands of briefs are probably repackaged Depends, and are cheaper.

These briefs are more expensive but are more absorbent and have softer material on the sides--I think they're probably repackaged Abriflex briefs: https://www.parentgiving.com/shop/dry-direct-super-overnight-underwear-9303/p/
I have to say, I've become a huge fan of the autoship.

If you have the patience for it, the aides at my mother's AL recommend putting an absorbent pad inside the briefs for extra absorption. My mom can still select her briefs from the closet, and was stealthily removing the pads I had 'pre-loaded', but if you're right there handing them to her that might be something to try.

I saw this on the Alzheimer forum regarding claiming a tax deduction for incontinence supplies, but I haven't confirmed this:
https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147558427
There may be a more current discussion at that forum about favorite brief brands--they are the ones that gave the DryDirect briefs, linked earlier, a thumbs up.
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pharmgirl05 Jan 2023
Thank you ElizabethY, we have always found Abriflex to be the most absorbent for my mother, 95, and I am glad to have found an equivalent or better product. I will give it a try.
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There are 2 great products I used when needed.
OdorBan Bought in gallon bottle at Sam's
Clorox Urine Remover.
Both worked great I used the OdorBan more often. It can be diluted a lot to make an air freshener and diluted in differing amounts can be used to sanitize, do laundry, floors (works great on bathroom floor for "dribbles") ... (and bonus when I do the dog's bedding it gets that "doggy odor" out)
The washable bed pad I used for my Husband was ConniUSA company. They make washable pads of different sizes as well as washable pads and underwear. The bed pad I got, 2 to an order were what I thought was expensive but one pad will retain over a gallon of fluid!
I will say that changing him at least every 2 hours I went through a LOT of disposable briefs. Both Pull up type and Tab type. I honestly do not think I would have been able to keep up with the laundry if I had used washable. And that was when he was well, once he came down with Noro Virus and I think in 1 weekend from Late Friday afternoon to Monday morning I did about 40 loads of wash.
I think finding a good brand of disposable in the size needed is your best bet of ultimately making your life easier. She will be using MORE not fewer as she declines.
If you have a Costco membership several times a year they put them on "special" and the large box price is reduced quite a bit. (If you do not have a membership I am sure you know someone that does. I am always happy to purchase things for friends that do not have a card)
If cost is a concern many communities have "Diaper Banks" Check your local Senior Center. Incontinence supplies are also provided free for Hospice patients if your wife qualifies for Hospice it could be one of the best decisions you make regarding her care. You would get all the supplies and equipment that you need as well as weekly help from a Nurse and 2 times a week a CNA. And you can request a Volunteer to come in and stay with her while you get out and get some "me time". If your wife happens to be a Veteran the VA might have programs that can help as well. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission.
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Grandma1954 Dec 2022
....By the way should have mentioned in the past the price savings at Costco when the Depends ore "on sale" are $10.50 off bringing the cost to about $37.49 a case for ALL sizes.
I have no idea what the New Year will bring with price adjustments.
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The "pure wick" system works very well at night. It's an external catheter for women.
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Midkid58 Jan 2023
I have to tell you that the PUREWICK system, while amazing in its design and concept---is really hard to use. I had heart surgery last fall and had to lay flat on my back for 4 hrs after the procedure. I was DYING to go to the bathroom and the nurse (she was a gem...not) just said "I'll put a bunch of CHUX under you and you can just go."

Well, I couldn't and didn't. Asked her about the PUREWICK and she hauled one out. It is difficult to find the 'sweet spot' where it would actually catch the urine. It has a little bit of a whoosing sound and you can feel the air pulling through it. VERY unpleasant and even tho I was in actually pain from having a beyond full bladder, I simply could not use it.

The doc came in to check on me and said "I'll watch the door and not let Nurse Ratchet in--get up go to the bathroom!" Bless his heart!

MAYBE, if your LO has lost the ability to urinate on 'command', it could work. It's expensive, not reusable and often not covered by insurance.

I have not heard ANYONE saying that this was a game changer.
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My mom, 91, lives with me. She wears two LivDry pull up diapers and two poise pads to bed each night. Her mattress is protected, and I put down two additional bed pads to protect it. One is a throw away, and the other is one that can be washed. All of it is available on Amazon.

She stays dry.
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Sam's overnight incontinence pads are the exact ones sold as other brand names and much cheaper. If you have the Sam's Plus members account, you get free shipping delivered right to your front door. Such a time/driving saver! They also have adult size wipes much cheaper than you'll find anywhere else. Never priced the bed protector pads, but would be worth checking out - also the diapers will probably be cheaper there considering other incontinence pricing.
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Here is a link to the best washable bed pad that we have used.

https://www.mipinc.com/products/categories/underpads/patient-care-underpads/fusion%C2%AE-underpads.html?classid=75

This is the manufacturer site so if you like what you see... Google Fusion Bed Pads and there are several suppliers but insist on the Fusion brand. Watch the videos at the bottom of the page to see the difference between other styles.
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We use the Purewick system for my aunt. Expensive but it works to keep her mostly dry and reduce the number of changes she needs. Because she is susceptible to pressure ulcers, which will be exacerbated by any contact with urine for any amount of time, it's worth the money for us.
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I've been buying dog training pads in the XL size at the local WalMart pet dept.
26" by 30" I use 2 for on the bed, and one on any chair she sits in.
A case of 75 is in the mid- $30's
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Fred3202: You should use throwaway incontinence products as the thought of attempting to launder a soiled one subjects the washer to all kinds of bacteria. My mother, a Depression Era child always extremely non spendthrift, wore underpants with a pad sewn in. That was an epic fail.
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After trying both for my mom I ended up liking the washable ones so much better than disposable. They are larger and stay in place on the bed. The disposable ones always moved around because my mom moved a lot while sleeping. I ended up taping them down. That helped a little bit still they would move and of course the poop and pee would end up on the sheets between the disposable. Then the entire bed needed a wash. That was a daily occurrence. But the washable ones ( I'd use 2) stayed in place better. Saved me from having to wash the whole bed. Just washed the pads and my mom of course. That's just been my experience. Hope it helps.
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I totally agree with the previous writer.
reusable bed pads are amazing compared to disposable and let’s face it we never worried about germs in our washing machines when our babies had accidents.
my dad lives with me after one accident to many left him hospitalised and not allowed back to his own home on health and safety regards (they keep the old folk in hospital until a safe place can be found for them in the UK, that’s why they get the name of bed blockers) he was missing the reusable but the washable stay in place, plus they are not that expensive on Amazon and you only pay once.
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