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Family took letter from doctor stating my mother had 6 months or less to hospice when my mother was on no breathing machines was alert and could eat, talk and walk and communicate on her own when they began the process of ending her life.

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Uninformed, I am so sorry about your mom's illness and passing.

Do you have a good friend who could help you, someone who knows your sisters and gets along with them well? Give yourself a few days to let things sink in and try to catch your breath first. Ask your friend in a very non-accusatory way talk to one of your sisters, and explain that you are really having a hard time with what happened and that you would like more information so you can try to understand and begin processing the loss which you hadn't anticipated coming so quickly. Try to have an open mind, because there is a very good chance your mom would have truly suffered without hospice, and your sisters were probably suffering too. It is so, so difficult to see a loved one in pain. Your sisters probably were exhausted because it is very difficult and traumatic to see someone through the kind of illness your mom had. You are caring for the person with the hope they will be better but at some point it is clear their condition will not improve, and that is when hospice is brought in, by a doctor's approval. This is not a decision your sisters could make on their own. They have also been through a tremendous loss and though you are in shock, the kindest thing is to try your best to think of how your sisters have been hurting too. If you accuse them of doing something horrible to your mom when they most likely truly were doing what was in her best interest, you will cause them even more pain.

Before you make any decisions, figure out what your mom's condition was, how the decision to bring in hospice was made, what drugs she was given. You are her daughter and it will help you to be at peace with the decision if you know how it was made. But you have to be patient, be a good listener, be open minded, and at least consider that your sisters did the right thing.

I am really sorry for you. It does sound like your sisters and mom were trying to protect you from knowing how bad your mom's situation really was, but then that does add to the shock later. I have been by someone's side when they were scared and in a lot of pain at the end of their life and it is the last thing you would want for a loved one. Your family was with your mom at the end and that must have been a tremendous comfort to her. I wish you peace and hope that you and your sisters begin to heal from what sounds like a very difficult week.
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uniformed, I just went into your profile about your mother and you had written "My mother would have never agreed to ending life in such a manner. She would have wanted to die on her own. She never spoke about any desire to do anything different."....

OMG, do you have any idea how horribly painful it would be dying from cancer without Hospice giving that person comfort? I really don't think that would be something you would want your mother to go through.

My Mom had Hospice during her last few weeks and I was so glad they were there. I am not a physician but I studied night and day and learned enough about the physical aspects that my Mom was facing plus the accelerated dementia she was now facing. It was so sad seeing her that way, but I knew there would be no reversal to her medical condition. Mom passed on peacefully which we would want for anyone to go through at their final journey.
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Uninformed, please see a psychiatrist or neurologist as soon as possible. Find out why this is so hard for you to deal with in a real-time aspect.
You know why they lied to you; they knew you would go to pieces.
You have gone to pieces. You want revenge. You want to hurt them via lawsuit, because killing them is not an option.
The five stages of Grief are shock, disbelief, anger, despair and Acceptance.
You display all of the first four and need medical help at this point.
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You picked an appropriate name.

You are totally uninformed about what hospice is and how it works.

Your are badly uninformed about what our court system is for and how it works.

Your dear mother dies and your first reaction is to take your family to court to make them admit they made bad decisions? Wow. Just wow. That is some very uninformed thinking!

If you go to the service next Saturday and make a scene over this, it will reflect very badly on you, not your sisters, and it surely will do nothing to heal the rift between you.

I see that there is a lot of animosity here. Your family forced you to care for your mother beyond what you were capable of. Your family didn't communicate with you fully about their decisions. Your sisters won't give you your mother's hats.Your sister doesn't want you for a roommate any more. All this is very painful for you, and adds to your overwhelming grief. But sue them for this? Get a grip!

Rather that seeking relief in a courtroom, consider counseling. A therapist can help you more at this painful point in your life than a lawyer could.
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There is no "last phase medicine"!!! There is no any "phase" medicine. I don't know who's been filling your head with this garbage or what you are reading but that's just 100% wrong!!! I'm sorry for your loss and perhaps grief is clouding your thinking or maybe you're feeling badly that you couldn't care for your mother yourself beyond what you did - but you've got to get this erroneous thinking to stop. Your not doing anyone any good - including yourself - by insisting hospice is some kind of death machine. It's just plain foolish talk and I am truely sorry to be so blunt while you are grieving. Hospice helps people by making the process of dying less painful and less stressful - especially for the patient. Yes, hospice provides pain medication and anxiety medication. Yes, a side effect of some pain and anxiety drugs do sometimes slow breathing BUT it is in NO WAY the primary objective - or the objective in any way. Would you have rather your mother suffered a painful passing? I doubt it - it's an awful thing to have to watch. Personally, I consider hospice staff truely remarkable people with the noblest of intentions - mercy and comfort to the dying. Please - do some more learning regarding hospice. Talk to people who have had a loved one in a hospice program. Stop these wild accusations - it's just not rational.
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The only way you can file suit with the "damages" you seek is if you file it yourself. No attorney will file suit requesting a public acknowledgment. Neither would a judge sustain that kind of lawsuit.

What you would open yourself up to though is a countersuit in which your siblings request that their costs and attorney fees be paid by you for a "frivolous" lawsuit, which is probably how it would be classified.

I am sorry for your loss; I'm sure it's very difficult to accept, but as you write in the post prior to this one, your mother knew she "was on the last stage of living."

To say that her death was "brought on artificially" is not a conclusion that could be made without examination of the records of hospice by a doctor.

Try to think of her death as one which offered more comfort and less pain and agony because of hospice's involvement. If you can think in these terms, it might help ease the pain of her loss.

Losing one's mother is traumatic; perhaps this is your way of accepting her passing. But try not to make yourself miserable thinking in terms of forcing an acknowledgment from your siblings. It can only prolong your grieving and discomfort.
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I'm sorry if I sound upset , I am. My mother didn't know what was happening nor did I . My sisters however did. If they wanted to spare me any grief they wouldn't be causing more by continuing to dismiss my request for her hats and literature. They don't care how I feel and that's OK . They need to acknowledge what they did was wrong. Because it was. My mother loved life and hung on relying sold on her faith and a very small amount of medication. She knew she was on the last stage of living . What she didn't know it would be brought on artificially . Truthfully I would sue and ask in compensation that they acknowledge their act and state it in public. No money , no liens, no monies. Just acknowledgement.
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Perhaps some of you aren't reading my post . My mother was not in any of the conditions that would qualify someone a procedure that hospice offers and has available . She was given 6 months 15 years ago. I'm not saying that she could have been cured what I am saying is she should have been given the right to die on her own not at the hands of my family or hospice. She did not give any directives that idea.
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Sorrynotsorry you need to look up their web site and read what they do. They break it down . And yes , they do administer medication that brings a persons life to and end. HOWEVER its suppose to be for those who are on some sort of life support or in extreme pain or someone that is almost dead. Not simply because they have a doctors letter in hand string 6 months or less
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WRONG FULL DEATH and the emotional state they have left me in as I was taken to her the day my sister must have given the last phase of medication. I had no idea this was happening. They stood outside on the back patio whispering as I asked about why her breathing was so shallow. I was told it was her sleep apnea. I think about nothing else except of her face . The way her breathing stopped and watched the blood stop pumping as her vein in her neck calapsed . They have left me in a very confused and distraut state of mind. I am being asked not to go around their home , my sister in whom I live with has asked me move out . But most worst of all I have been excluded from any arrangements for my mother . I was fortunate to have found out the services are scheduled for next Saturday . I believe they know what was done wasn't right and would rather me not be around anyone to expose the truth. After all how would it look if such behavior came from those who profess to be godly like. I probably sound out of content jumping around, I guess the fact that my family are this way makes me question .. everything. I just know my mother didn't want to die. That's why she lived so long with this type of cancer. They didn't have to end her life early. If it was for just another day , they should not have been given that power to take that away.
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I don't think you understand what hospice is. It doesn't make a person die. It just provides help that comes to your house. In other words provides nurses and medicine that keeps people in comfort. It does not provide medicine that kills people or speeds up their death. Or you can choose to go to a hospice care facility and get 24 hour care. They do not speed up your death or assist you in suicide.
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OK, so you have regrets that you couldn't care for her, that is understandable. But you can't beat kidney cancer. Sooner or later it spreads, it becomes unbeatable and untreatable. That's when Hospice comes in.
Failing kidneys do not remove toxins. The patient loses their connection with reality. They are confused, they are delusional and they hallucinate.
Nobody can fix that. They called Hospice and did not tell you to save you the emotional trauma of knowing. I've been through this, there is great pain in knowing this is where it ends.
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Its my family I wandered about a law suite. My family had tired out from taking care of her and made it very obvious when they dropped her off for weeks and would not answer their phone when I needed their help when my mother fell . They wouldn't respond to my plea for help as I struggled to care for her due to the lack of equipment (bed) and overwhelmed taking care of my 9 month old granddaughter. I was not in the condition to take on so much due to a car accident I was involved in 8 months earlier leaving my left side mangled . I had not recovered from it however I pushed myself until my body gave out and ended up in the emergency from exhaustion. Taking that into account and from what my mother confided in me , she no longer felt wanted. My brother in-law had a way with commenting that she was in the way but when around others would act as if he was always concerned . They would get angry if she didn't feel up to walking around or getting out. My niece would refuse to pamper her because she felt she would get spoiled. My mother endured kidney cancer for 15 years and lived with her pain taking only a small amount of vicoden . She was not given the right to die on her own but prematurely by my family and hospice . It was said by my other sister she did not have a full understanding about hospice.
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uninformed, Hospice does not give lethal doses. Hospice does not come in unless the patient agrees to it, the MD agrees to it and the patient is evaluated. I don't know what you would sue for ??? What was her medical issue?
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OK no my mother is no longer alive. She died last Saturday. My family went to hospice when my mother was not experiencing any more pain then before. Hospice gives patients that have six month or less medication to make those who have a terminally ill condition. In there brochure they clearly state how and what the give patients. Its in stages as the slowly administer these drugs to slow down their breathing and heart. My sisters knew what they were doing and in no way informed my mother she was on her way out. They kept me in the dark until I discussed their actions with a friend. I've been torn about my mothers death and so that why I haven't gotten to my profile. I need to sort some things out but would gladly answer any questions pertaining to this awful situation .
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Uninformed, any type of lawsuit regarding that wouldn't get off an attorney's desk.

Hospice does NOT end anyone's life, in fact they are another set of ears and eyes to the patient's condition, they make sure the patient is comfortable and not in any type of pain. There have been patients who do get better while on Hospice, thus are taken off said program.

Apparently the primary or specialist feels your mother only has 6 months or less, and a Hospice doctor and nurse will confirm same. They are the experts unless you have a MD or OD degree and know differently regarding your Mom's medical condition. May I ask what is your Mom's medical issue as you didn't refer anything on your profile.... if we knew, maybe we could help understand this better.
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A vent is not a requirement for Hospice. Did Mother pass away, or is this still ongoing? My father just "shut down" due to diabetes and ALZ, and hospice was a blessing
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