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We are the primary caregiver for 2.5 years of my mother-in-law (she is 94). She lives in Assisted Living and we see her every day. My brother-in-law lives in China and sees her 3-4 times a year. He is constantly threatening us with lawsuits because he doesn't like a doctor or medication she is on or methods of care we are providing. He thinks we are trying to kill her. She is in seriously poor health and may pass soon. He is also threatening to sue her doctors. Do we have anything to worry about?

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Your MIL is 94, even if she was in the best of health for a woman her age, her days would be somewhat numbered. You have her in a legitimate care facility and visit her every day.....that is significanty closer and better care than most people get. Many people in facilities rarely get visit and have nobody advocate for then.

You have not neglected nor abused her, he has no basis for a law suit.

He may not like the meds the docs prescribe, is he even a doctor and does he have access to her daily detailed patient info to have an informed opinon. If not, he is just another fool with an uninformed opinion. He can waste his time and money filing suit against the MD, they would just counter sue and spend each other's time and money. The doctors are doing something right if mom is 94 and still breathing!

You have nothing to worry about, instead of causing you stress he should be praising and thanking you for caring for his mother. Let's hope he stays on China, we do not need any more lawsuit threatening fools.

Since he has not told you, Congratulations, you are doing a great job!
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Just about anybody can sue anybody for anything. That doesn't mean they have a good chance of winning. Often these cases are taken by a lawyer on a contingency basis -- they'll take a portion of the award. So most lawyers won't want to take on a case they don't see much chance of winning. If BIL can pay out-of-pocket whether he wins or loses he has a better chance of someone taking his case. That still doesn't mean he'll win.

I think you have nothing to worry about. I take it that he is your spouse's brother? Your spouse should tell him calmly, "We are doing the best we can. I'm sorry you do not approve. You go ahead and take whatever legal action you feel compelled to take."

I know a couple of people who are always threatening to sue someone. Nothing ever comes of it.
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Tell him if he can stop her from dying, then take over. Quarterback doctoring when someone not only lives in another time zone, plus is not a doctor is his denial his mother is dying. Stop talking to him. Get everything in writing about her prognosis, send it to him, and then stop worrying! His threats are just that. Let them go in one ear and out the other. If he thinks he can do a better job, come back from China and do it. Merry Christmas!
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Your brother in law is a nutter. Rest your mind.
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people react differently to stress and anxiety. Sounds like your brother uses anger and threats to cover his own guilt and insecurities. Just disregard and/or validate his feelings of helplessness. That may calm him down.
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Do you have medical POA? If not get one. If you have one tell BIL to shut his trap!
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It sounds like your brother-in-law needs a life. I hope that you have a medical POA. I would have one last conversation with him and let him know that you are taking care of your mother-in-law to the best of your ability and that you do not need any of his negative input nor his threats to sue from afar. If he doesn't have an audience, he'll stop performing. It sounds like he's all bark and no bite. Is this HIS mother? It's pretty hard to sue doctors and win over piddly stuff. Maybe they haven't learned that in China. Good luck, I pray your last days with your MIL are pleasant ones! Ignore him and continue taking care of your mother-in-law. It is stressful enough without obstacles. My dad is 94, also. Make your last days memorable ones.
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Sounds to me like he's just wanting to scare you. He feels big by talking big. However, I don't think I would possibly add grease to his fire by suggesting to him that he "bring it on". Don't lower yourself to his level or enter a back & forth with him. And just in case he tries to legally take action, make sure your comments to him are calm and short. Give him updates, when he asks. But, don't debate with him. (That may be what he's wanting) I would assure him that you are doing your best in overseeing her care and evaluating the situation and you and the docs are doing what has been determined to be best. Welcome him to come to the facility and be more involved. In other words, don't give anyone the impression that you are keeping things from him.

I wish you, your mother-in-law and your family...peace.
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Your BIL is expressing his helplessness in the situation by showing anger against those do see his mother. He is grieving before she passes. He knows she might die without him being there, and his guilt is being expressed. Don't let it bother you. You are doing a fabulous job.
My oldest sister did the same thing when our mother died. Mama had lymphoma (8 years), diabetes (27 years), one kidney, glaucoma(she was blind) and severe neuropathy. She had lost weight from a hefty 180 down to about 110 and was basically bed bound. Big sis was angry and threatening to sue the doctors, X-ray techs, nurses and hospital when Mama finally slipped into a coma while having yet another hopeless radiation treatment. We had a family meeting 3 days later and all agreed to disconnect, except for big sis. She then accused the rest of us of killing our own mother. She did go see several lawyers and none would take the case. She just had to handle it in her own way.
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I wonder in this topic of suing, can the caregiver sue the "not" caregivers for not caregiving, but clogging our lives with this abuse and worry????
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