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I want to thank the members of this board for letting me vent and comment on this board. You have helped me cope through a few rough and low spots! Now that my father is in a NH and some of the dust has settled.....it is time to contemplate going back to work?! But the last 6 years have changed me. Not for the better. My outlook is sometimes fairly skeptical. I have gained 50 pounds. I feel as though I have aged 20 years. I have become a bit of a hermit. Friends and extended relatives have moved on as they have tired of me saying I cannot go or tired of me venting or being exposed my father's negativity and venom. I just would like to hear of other's experiences in getting back to the workforce. I left a mid management $70K with ben. position that was really interesting. As of today I have a 2 day/week summer job that pays $10/hour and I am worried that I will never even come close to what I used to have. Share your journeys with me please!

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I haven't been in a position to return to part or full time work yet, but I have every intention to. I always planned to work until I physically or mentally couldn't, so I see these caregiving years as a diversion, rather than a detriment or career ender.

As I did when I was working, I try to identify generally what tasks are/were performed as a caregiver, factor out the skills, level of responsibility and problem solving tools used. Then equate them to what you used in your former career, in your temporary 2 day/week job, and how the reinforcement of these skills through caregiving and your current job could benefit a potential employer in a more permanent career.

In addition to skills, identify problems solved, including the ones that can't be solved because those can occur in a paid position as well and often require acceptance of situations that are controlled by outside forces (such as government regulations and funding).

I'm trying to create a base for conversion of caregiving skills to career skills, so I can demonstrate that caregiving is in fact a learning opportunity. Given that so many people see caregiving as a career ender or other negative, demonstrate that you saw it not only as an opportunity to return the love your father showed you, but that you saw it as a growth opportunity as well.

This may sound naïve, and I won't deny that it doesn't require a lot of thought, sometimes very creative thought, but it's also a positive reinforcement tool. Add to that a new exercise program - even just walking helps clear your mind and makes you feel better.

Focus on that aspect – you’re adding to your skills even if you did take a different route to acquire them.

Be prepared to respond to questions on what might happen if your father’s condition changes. Show that you have protocols and backups identified so you can continue working with either no time off or a minimum of that.

Adopt the attitude also that any employee regardless of age and family responsibility may at some time need time off for family or illness (cf. pregnancy, surgery, illness of children), so you’ve strived to create backup that would be comparable to what any other employee might need. Don’t allow anyone to back you into a position of admitting you might have to get FMLA or other leave and that b/c of the caregiving you’re at a disadvantage to any employer.

This happened to me when I interviewed with an elder care law firm and was asked that question. It was clear that despite the fact these attorneys were knowledge in the area, they still saw someone who was a caregiver as a detriment and not a desirable employee. Although I thought it hypocritical, it was business policy for them. And obviously when I needed an elder care law firm, they weren’t even considered!

Good luck; this is a very important issue for caregivers, and I’m anxious to see what others offer. Please do keep us up to date on your progress so we can learn from you as well.
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P.S. I haven't yet been successful at returning, but I INTEND to be so!
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You are in a similar position to parents that leave the workforce and seek to return
Most important questions:
Are you over or under 50? Right or wrong this will be one of the biggest roadblocks. Every year new cheaper workers come in. Your looks will come into play in interviews. Sorry but truth. I know as a CPA that left to parent child with disabilities and even with over 25 years experience i have trouble getting a callback.
Did you keep networking options open? Do people know you and can you re-enter that way? Create a LinkedIn account. Build on it. Clean up any Facebook or other online presence. Make sure no negative online presence holds you back.
Contact the local employment commission and see what services are available. Resume writing, interviewing skills, Internet training, etc. they are paid to help you find work.
For the record at 56 I have 2 part time jobs and have never replaced the title or money. I work two part time jobs. But I have a successful college bound son who will be self supporting. I keep working on trying to improve job, but not terribly hopeful. I can't work 60 hour weeks all the time any more.
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Just a comment on Guestshopadmins' online suggestions: I've read that employers scrutinize social media and LinkedIn accounts to get an idea what a candidate is like before an interview. GSA's advice is sound - don't post anything that in any way could be misconstrued.

And remember that Facebook uses information for its own purposes. Because of its egregious privacy activity, I would never consider posting anything on it.
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Interesting. I gave up an $80 K per year overseas job with outstanding benefits for minimum wage part-time... In order to be here for my parents and although I have not yet returned to the work place what I have done is arranged several part-time jobs that are aware of my need for flexibility to accomodate my parents needs for now. This means I can work varying times of day and varing days of the week. Ultimately when I can return to work I hope to work in with one of these employers in a higher capacity. (fortunately they all would love to hire me) Then again I am enjoying the variety and could simply add part-time work to fill the week. I doubt I could ever return to my 'former life', I don't feel like I will ever have the required level of energy ever again and I am aware that a break from a specialty is enourmously difficult to overcome. So I move forward. We are all capable of so many things, open your horizons and create a new life. Just my musings on this.
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Keep positive, you never know what is around the corner. I was out of work for about 2 years, and at 65 I wasn't ready to retire. My Dad never quit work to care for his parents, and by golly I wasn't going to do the same, and my parents knew that.

Out of the blue I got a telephone call from someone who I had networked with a couple years ago... he asked if I was available for an interview... I said yes, and the rest is history. At that point I didn't care what the salary was, I wanted to get back into the business world, it was my sanity. And my boss wanted someone with my long background in that field.... plus my age was a bonus, he and I could reminisce about the past :) he couldn't do that with the very much younger employees.

I also agree with what others said above about Facebook and LinkedIn... be careful, clean it up, but don't be surprised if it might still be floating around out in internet land. In fact, not to long ago I deleted myself from LinkedIn as I wasn't getting anything out of that website, it was looking more like a popularity contest to me. As for Facebook, never had an account with them.
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I am hoping. I have provided care for mom with AD and her hubby for four years. I completed my master's degree during that time and continue to take online free courses throough Coursera to upgrade my skills. I have made it through the third phase of a hiring process for a position that will nearly put me where I was four years ago at nearly 100k. Waiting to hear if I make it through this phase and get an interview with the management team. Here's hoping. But, even if I do not get the job it gives me hope. There are other positions out there that I am well qualified for and will keep applying. And my resume put right out front that I have been caregiving for four years which shows a tremendous amount of fortitude and they have no idea how difficult it is in a dysfunctional family!

Wish me success, not luck!
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Good luck, and dump linkedin. I get stuff from them all the time, from people I have never heard of and who have nothing to do with my field! Go ahead with a positive attitide .
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Hello, sorry I'm a little coming to this thread, but I find myself in the same situation. Have been caring for parents for 5 years (still caring for one), left a 100k corporate job to do so, and believe I have a slim chance of getting back to where I was. Now I'm 50+ and am thinking 'do I even want to go back' to the corporate grind ... but what to do?? The past year or so I've been looking into alternative ideas, such as establishing my own business and was even thinking of putting together a resource for other carers who find themselves in the same position. I think this is a bit of a sleeper issue, as unlike mothers returning to the workforce, who are typically younger and can slip back in, most carers are older, and discriminated against. The general alternative is menial part-time work and I'm not particularly interested in that. I've love to hear more from others about their experiences, also if there is any interest in a resource specifically addressing this issue.
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Another idea while waiting for that new source of employment, do volunteer work in something that you really enjoy.... it will put a smile on your face plus give you a feeling of accomplishment :) And it looks good on a resume.
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I second the volunteering idea, if you can. Look for skilled-based volunteer positions in your field of expertise. I was offered a job at the last non-profit agency where I volunteered. I didn't take it, but it's a good way to get back into a work schedule, get your skills back up to date, have a good reference and have people who are thrilled to see you walk in the door. Just that kind of mental support and validation can do wonders for your ego and confidence level!

And if technology has moved on in your absence, try to get back up-to-date with your skills and be able to talk about that. Take a class at your junior college or get a certification or whatever it takes to get back into the current level of technology.
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Agree, the volunteering is a fantastic idea. Apart from learning new skills and helping out, I think mixing with other people again is a huge benefit. Not sure about anyone else, but I have found the isolation of caring very, very hard to deal with. At first I didn't really recognize it, but it really has a corrosive effect: wears you down and starts to erode self esteem and confidence.

Re the technology, it has certainly raced ahead in my field while I've been caring. I started to learn some new skills (in my spare time haha;) which I've been overwhelmed with, but enjoyed learning. It's helped to build confidence and start thinking about 'getting back in the saddle' so to speak, or to start something for myself. I'm still sorting through ideas and direction though.
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I had went into construction after 20 plus years of care giving. Then my mom was diagnosed with luekemia , my step-dad with multiple myleoma and now my step-mom has stage 4 lung cancer. Now that I've been thrown back into it I need to make some decent money at it. I'm enrolled to start a phlebotomy class. It's only 10 weeks and the pay starts out at 17.00 hour where I live and it varies depending on where you reside. I figured the pay was better and the amount of school you have to take wasn't very long and maybe I could continue my education after that if I wanted to. I'm 55 years old and at first it seemed silly trying to figure out what I should do with myself once my step-mom passes. My dad wants me to stay living with him after she is gone so I'm sure eventually I would be caring for him as well. It's never to late to try something new. Wishing you luck and happiness.
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"...it really has a corrosive effect: wears you down and starts to erode self esteem and confidence."

MissBee, those words are such a comfort to me. I knew it was happening but wasn't aware that I wasn't alone. Now I know it's not just me that's experiencing this and longing to be back to work for the self confidence and self esteem it gave me (as well as the paycheck!).
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Missbee I noticed your comment about 'meanial part time work'. Its a shame you see it that way. My part time jobs are is as a director of a charity, running a center for small infirm/geriatric birds, and as an accountant. (In addition to caring for my parents). In fact the other part time job I have just left was working with a volunteer fire department as an office administrator (I also volunteered as a firefighter/first responder). I didnt really want to give that up but the others I can if necessary do at home. Perhaps they are meanial jobs to some but I find them all very rewarding.
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SoTired123, please forgive me for any misunderstanding. I do not, in any way, believe that all part-time work is menial. It all depends on what you do and what you want. I was speaking generally about what part-time work is typically available in my neck of the woods, and it's not appealing to me. If I could swing what you do on a part-time basis (apart from accounting, I'm not qualified), I'd be there in a heartbeat. I hope that clarifies my meaning a little more. It's not a reflection on part-time work, more reflection of what is available where I am.
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Thanks for all the suggestions. As an update, my little summer part time job is about over. I am about to start a 2 day per week grant writer / administrator job at the end of the month, so I hope that may open up some bigger doors in the future. With one child still in college and trying to keep up with the student loans from another, I have decided not to finish my masters. I just cannot afford it. I am still tied down to quite a bit of work in maintaining my father's property and affairs. Yes, most do not realize how much time it takes!

I do think there is hope for finding a good job, but anymore it is usually dependent on WHO you know rather than what you know. I am also in an area where the commute is long and rough in the winter. I have a lot to consider. Keep up with the comments. This is great dialogue.
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I didn't see that remark, but if I had I would have interpreted it as referring to some of the low paying jobs allocated to teens, young adults and elders, the jobs with no advancement opportunities.

At one local chain grocery store, elders are generally the greeters, standing on their feet for long periods of time, welcoming and thanking guests. I've never seen an older person hustling around solving problems while wearing a "manager" tag.

On the other hand, there are some mature women working for 2 of the funeral homes with which I'm familiar. I suspect their age, experience and maturity offer a wealth of skills in that particular environment.
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I went straight from the mommy track to the daughter track, and have accepted that, despite a graduate degree, I am never going to have a career in the real sense. I don't have an entrepreneurial streak, am not very adept at technology, don't have that sparkly personality, and age discrimination is a reality, especially for women. I never left the workforce entirely, and now have two part time jobs with no benefits, which is about as good as it is going to get. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer here, but this is a reality for many caregivers.

What might help some is that if you are caring for a family member who has some resources, have them pay you. Think of how much we are saving our care recipients in terms of nursing home costs. This really is something the government should deal with, because we unpaid caregivers save the taxpayers billions, often at the cost to our own health.
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