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Has anyone had to transfer a parent to a different doctors office while they were on Zytiga? Is it possible to transfer to a different doctors office when a patient is on a drug like Zytiga that is so specialized, it's only administered by the doctors office? Dad's prostate cancer has progressed, it's spread to his bones, he was referred to another urology office who could administer the Zytiga. Everything is good with the office, but the doctor. I've gone with dad on appointments even before he really needed me, because he asked. Dad is intelligent but poorly educated, has always had a hard time understanding medical terminology, couldn't fill out his paperwork, says yes to everything in a doctors office, even in regard to when he's asked about symptoms. Can't pronounce prostate. Dad has a minor speech issue, born that way. I've been his caregiver for five years, he's 83, hard of hearing, has difficulty walking, we use a wheel chair. This doctor does not acknowledge me as a caregiver, does not want me to ask questions, does not talk to dad about side effects to watch out for. The doctor has one chair pulled to his desk for the patient and three chairs on the side against the wall always. I ask questions, doc gets angry, like I've inconvenienced him and I'm taking up good air in his office by being there. Doctor has been asked about walking, why doesn't he walk? Dad tells him in his way, doctor doesn't understand or listen. Yesterday dad was asked about his dentures. I said "dentures?". The man leaned up on his desk from a sitting position, put his fists on his desk, leaned over wide eyed and glared me down, took a moderate scolding/correcting stance towards me because I asked why do dentures matter with prostate cancer. My dad leaned back in his wheelchair, and in all honesty the behavior frightened me. I've noticed this doctor was extremely tense from the first appointment. I want to find another urology office closer to home, see if they can request dads medical records, schedule an appointment and see if they can get his zytiga in time without a gap in treatment. I don't want to cause conflict with the current office either, but I feel this doctor will not work well with us when dad reaches a point he needs Xofigo (Radium 223) and he's radioactive and may need to be hospitalized for that reason. We need a doctor who works well with the caregiver as this progresses. Any ideas, or similar experiences?

You can always change.

We even changed in the hospital when Mom was near death. I reported the less-than-compassionate (also irresponsible) care to hospital administrators and websites alike. I wasn’t worried that the doctor was the hospital’s “superstar.”

When Mom recovered, she thanked me for advocating for her. She felt protected and loved.
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gdaughter Apr 12, 2019
so many places want the $$$. Just had a friend who observed horrendous and non-helpful care with her dad in a local nursing home hospice program. Took energy and time, but she brought her dad home with another hospice program. She was grateful she did.
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Some of the drugs and treatments for prostate cancer can cause periodontal bone loss, which in turn can cause problems with dentures.

I hope your doctor can become more responsive. As your father’s caregiver, medical staff should be willing to answer your question. Hope this all works out for you and your dad.
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You dare to question the High Priest of modern society? You might as well dare to question the gods themselves!

But seriously, doctors are a sad bunch. Very few care about health, wellness, and side effects. They are just drug-pushing robots.

Don't let this doctor intimidate you. Hopefully you can find a better one.
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Countrymouse Apr 12, 2019
Reminds me of this little joke:

Q: What's the difference between God and your doctor?
A: God doesn't think He's a doctor.

But the important thing is that this is a little *joke*. I don't know how many doctors you know, but I know quite a few. They might not be surprised by your insulting remarks but they would be saddened by them, and they might well wonder why they even bother putting in the hours, the care and the concentration that they do.
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Get to a different doc ASAP! check with insurance company to verify that they are in network, ask for top 3 names, research them independently, then switch. Have office request his files so no charge to you. Dad's care and wellbeing are what is important. We had an issue with an er doc who treated MIL poorly when he found out no surgery or invasive procedures. When asked about ekg and bloodwork results his answer was "I didn't read them, just signed off that they were done, she's on hospice care what do you think is going to happen." Thank God for shift change and much more caring and compassionate doc. At least he made sure she was comfortable, admitted her for observation, prescribed meds to alleviate vomiting. ER nurse was awsome too but their hands are also tied. You are his best advocate, not always easy, but you do need to shout out loud sometimes. Unfortunately some docs have "god" syndrome and feel that they should never be questioned. Run from this practice and find another dad deserves better.
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I would have walked out of his office & taken your Dad with you. Never go back there! & File a complaint against him. Probably doesn’t need to be on whatever drug he’s prescribed. Go find another urologist..there are plenty around. Also have your Dad Get new blood & urinalysis. Anyone who doesn’t respect you doesn’t get the time of day. Keep in touch & let us know how it goes. Hugs 🤗
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What is this QUACK HERE FOR? Find another DOCTOR with Better Bedside Manners...How Rude and Crude, Inexcusable!!!!xx
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Helping77 Apr 12, 2019
Agree! I'm grateful to have had plenty of good drs in my 27 years (and it's a lot) but I have had mainly I remember 2 psychiatrists before that honestly seemed they were more interested in insulting me (one while I was in school who seemed more interested in telling me ignore everything than my emotional state. Love to know how you ignore people (boys n girls) flicking you in the forehead or other things similar and another recently who was only interested in telling me everything I do is wrong, even simple things like I need to use this specific conditioner (or even use conditioner, which I told her I do) because I have such curly/frizzy hair it's hard to get through) like that's her business because?)
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I really despise doctors who act like this to their patients/caregivers. I definitely would check on finding another doctor but may be faced with a challenge of one accepting him with his condition. I totally understand what you are going thru with the terminology that needs to be explained in ”words that your dad can understand”.. I have to have it broke down for myself! But as a caregiver, you are doing what you need to do. You and your dad deserve the respect and the compassion from your doctor during this difficult journey he is on. As I have always been told, their is someone higher up to go to. If you find another doctor that will accept your dad, doctors have a “code of conduct”, I thought, they should go by. I certainly would report him for his actions. Good luck and stay strong❤️
word of mouth will hurt his reputation as a doctor...and his referrals...
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Trust your gut. You are right. Change doctors. He gets mad because he’s got an ego problem. He’s used to getting his way. He’s not giving proper care for your father. Do what you have to do document everything dates times what said what’s done not done and report him to a board as well. Remember, for every one person who speaks up there’s 10 or more that have the same problem. I’ve been a caregiver for two people with severe dementia for five years. Also my sister is a resident coordinator at Hospital. (That is a coordinator for the newbies who are learning to be doctors.) she can’t Advocate enough that people need to fight for their right to good medical care. Doctors are here to HELP US. I’ve change doctors as frequently as I felt needed until I found the one that I felt cared the way I wanted them to. Good luck!
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gdaughter Apr 12, 2019
Oh my Liz, I can imagine the fun your sister has. I remember the day my elder mom was recuperating from an appendectomy. She was slow to recuperate and one day we walked in to find she had an N/G tube that had been place without our consent and in spite of frequent visits...she was showing signs of beginning dementia which no one picked up on so were able to do it with her consent alone. Denied her pain and fear. One day the resident and her puppies came in and mentioned a pic line if she wasn't eating because they miscalculated days since surgery. I raised hell and said over my dead body. Another night I came in and this witch and her tag-a-long were coming out of mom's room. Looked right at me and flew away taking cover elsewhere; I walked in the tube was spewing vile biohazard all over her linens...they had just left that. Required someone to clean up the mess, change mom and nursing staff to cap the tube. I filed a complaint for whatever good it did. You never know...but the MD in charge of this witch is no longer there. YOu just know he and she are elsewhere.
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Remember: in any situation where you engage with another party to render services that you are paying for, YOU are the employer, and you can hire and fire at will. This means anything from lawn care to lawyers, and everything else in between. Health care providers are no exception.

If it's at all possible (insurance, scheduling, etc.), find another doctor, and then fire this one. Your dad doesn't need to feel uncomfortable with this guy - he has enough problems already - and you don't need the aggravation. And if you successfully engage another practice, be sure to tell this one why you're going elsewhere.
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cherokeegrrl54 Apr 12, 2019
You are exactly right... because the Dr can “fire” a patient if they don’t follow his advice!!!! In most instances i think they truly care, but with all the governmental regs in the last 20 yrs, its almost impossible to get quality time wth your DR or PA.....always go with ur list of questions and if u have to stand in front of the exam room door til u get answers, then so be it!
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Complain to the clinic's administration -- due to satisfaction surveys facilities are penalized with poor scores. such complaints will usually resolve your issue. If this is not possible, or does not solve your issue, you can get another oncology doctor. now if he has some kind of HMO insurance, this transfer of services must be approved by his primary doctor *and* has to be on his insurance as a carrier.

As a note--if he really knows his stuff and a very good doctor, I'd keep him. I would much rather have a nasty doctor who knows his stuff than a very nice one who will give you less-than-optimum treatment. Anybody can be nice. Besides you only have to put up with him sometimes.
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gdaughter Apr 12, 2019
LOL...if they respond to my satisfaction survey the penalties would probably result in them shutting down!
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