Husband has advancing Parkinson’s and related dementia. It’s so hard at times dealing with him and separating spouse from caregiver. I have home health care & my daughter providing support. He is fairly mobile, dresses and eats himself. Recently was very combative and aggressive but with change in meds he’s better. I don’t know what my life would be like not being a caregiver.

It will not be an easy decision but I think you will know. I'm sure your daughter can help you figure this out too. When it gets to be too much for you. When you're totally burnt out. When he is unsafe at home.

So glad that a med change relieved aggressiveness. Make sure that you stay safe.

You might also need, sooner rather than later, to get some help at home. If not directly for him, then for you. Someone to help with him would be great - sit with him so you can go out and do whatever it is you don't normally get to do anymore. Someone to clean the house or do errands would be lovely too.

I don't know how much your daughter is doing, but I would just caution against leaning on her too hard. While she may be glad to help, she has a life too and should be encouraged to live it while she's still young, etc.

Good luck.
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Reply to againx100

I was told when I asked the very same question...
When you start asking the question it is time.
Well for me it was not "time"
I based my decision on 1 thing.
If it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him at home I would have to place him.
If it was no longer safe for ME to care for him at home I would have to place him.
Luckily it never came to that. He was always compliant and with the help of Hospice I had all the equipment that I needed and I had the education I also needed to use the tools provided.
BUT my Husband did not have Parkinson's or Lewy Body Dementia and that often manifests with violence and because of the Parkinson's medication can be tricky.
So you do what you have to do to care for him the best that you can as well as care for you in the best way.
Placing someone in Memory Care is not an easy choice, not an easy decision. Is this a discussion you can have with him? I am sure he does not want to harm you or anyone else.
By the way you will always be his caregiver. It might be in a different role as an advocate. But your concern, your feelings will not change.
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Reply to Grandma1954

I believe you will know if and when the time has come to place your husband in a memory care facility. Probably when he can't do all the things that you listed above that he still can do now, if that gets to be just too much for you to handle. It sounds though like you have a great support system set up at home now, with home health care coming and your daughter helping out, so realistically the time may not come for him to be placed at all. Only you can decide if and when. Being a caregiver is difficult, especially when it's for our spouse. Please make sure you are taking time away for yourself and doing some little things that you enjoy, as that will help you continue on this journey.
I was a caregiver for my husband for the better part of 24 years, after he had a massive stroke, early on in our marriage. Of course over time his needs grew greater and greater, and eventually he ended up bedridden in our living room for the last 22 months of his life. He died 4 months ago, in our home, just like he wanted to, and my caregiver journey for him is now over. I'm not going to lie, I was quite lost for about a month or so, not knowing what to do with myself, but now I am caregiving for myself, and trying to figure out what I want to do with this next season of my life. May God give you strength and courage for your journey.
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Reply to funkygrandma59

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