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Struggling to pay for nursing home exp. The estate home is in a planned subdivision and has termites. Can't afford insurance because MIL was a scam artist so as soon as a sign goes up the HOA is going to find out all the dirty laundry. Willing to buy for appraised amount which could pay 5 years at this rate. But can't get a loan unless there is a large down payment which we don't have unless some equity could be gifted. If it goes into auction it will sell for way less and it won't cover her nursing exp. It all makes me want to give up but when I do the HOA KICKS IN and puts a fine on us for lawn and etc. I don't have a clue where to turn. So much time seems to be wasted on MIL. I'm so burned out. Input please!

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I don't think you need to worry about the home selling for enough to pay for nursing home care. Assuming all those old transfers are outside the Medicaid 5 year look back period, once the money from the sell is exhausted your MIL should qualify for Medicaid which will pay the NH bill. I encourage you to start the process for MIL's Medicaid qualification. Even if she is turned down, the process will identify what needs to happen to gain qualification.

Treat for termites and sell the home - let the new owner fund the repairs.
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Reply to TNtechie
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It seems that the easiest path would be to treat the termites, sell the house, use the money to pay for NH, apply for Medicaid before the money runs out. But you really need to talk to a lawyer who can help set the right priorities.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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So greatfull for this resource of advice and support. I usually just turn to others post to just give me comfort as our family goes through this journey. As far as our financial crisis, MIL does not qualify for Medicaid. She has a 40 to 50 year history of squandering money. But that doesn't effect the current situation. 5-7 years ago she was widowed and had large transfes from her account. They cannot be answered for of what she did. She was sick for years but no one could get her help because she had the money for lawyers. Family was always in turmoil. Now that with enough call from neighbors and police we got involved. Wish we hadn't. We are obligated to pay the difference to the NF. Which is worth every cent that she is now under medical care. She has gov. BCBS ins. And Medicare. The diff. We pay is 2600. It is a struggle esp. With 4 children. Whose life we are trying to keep as active and normal as pos. Through all this. The home should be a resource to help with exp. Of care. We have tried to hold off on the sale as long as possible. It is terribly damaged from the termites. Yes we are treating infestation. But the damage is done. To get fair market value, repairs will be priority. Or nothing done will be auctioned and will be a nice investment. But we fear it will not sell will not sustain the care exp. For any length of time. Can't sell the home until judge approves and the only sister thinks we should just move mom to a cheaper better NF. I know 199 daily rate is fair. And hard to find. We have moved MIL a total of 9 times in the past 2 year. She has lived in NF for a year now. We don't want to move her again if at all possible. The sister is in denial of how sick mom is. Never happy with moms care. So if she complains to NF it makes a conflict and of course facility wants to get MIL out. On top of us being behind on payment. They have the upper hand. So long of explanation. The struggle is real. IT IS HORRIBLE TO THINK OF MIL FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Every day throughout the day 24/7. MIL is a narcissist. But now she has a known documented medical excuse. To do right for her is all that can be done. Deserving or not. Our children are watching.
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Reply to Erinbrockavich
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You really need to treat the termites. Everyday allows them to create more damage.

Your information is really confusing.

Contact an attorney to help you with the process. Gifting equity will effect future Medicaid benefits if required.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I'm sorry to hear about your family's situation, but I confess I don't understand all the in's and out's of your question. Have you consulted a real estate lawyer who is knowledgeable about HOA's? Or an elder care lawyer who can help get your MIL eligible for Medicaid?
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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