My mother has untreatable secondary cancer , I am the only family, until a few wks ago she managed alone in her home & I daily called with meals etc. The past 3 wk mum has gone weak not been eating & in bed feeling very ill so I have stayed at hers to care for her day & night , the problem is I am in ill health myself with a heart condition, fibomyalgia, and depression / anxiety & it has mentally & pysicly drained me, as a cry for help pallative care came out & arranged for mom to go into a pallative care him for 2 weeks to see if they can manage her pain & strengthen her up a bit so I am so releved th have a break. The problem I am now facing is I have been told if after 2 weeks she is a bit stronger ( & I hope she is of course ) that she could maybe go home with a care plan were someone would call 3 times a day for her needs ( great ) & of course I will help as much as I'm able BUT I'm told there is only 1-2 night calls a week they do, so I would be expected to sleep at moms 5-6 nights a week , & as much as I want my mom home & I want to help I know I am not well enough or strong enough to more or less live every night at my moms , befour she has just gone in pallative care for a short time she was needing me through the night upto 4 times thus I was getting hardly any sleep, also I'm finding myself very upset as my mom can be demanding & expects everything quick & now & when I try & remind her I cannot rush due to my ailments she says she doesn't care & she's the one with cancer . Apparently there will be a meeting of myself, hospital, mom, pallative care etc in nx week or so to discuss what happens next & prob want to arrange her going home, how can I make everyone understand I cannot take on a big care role as I'm not well enough without sounding selfish & my mum resenting me ? I'm having panic attacks on a daily basis as I'm so worried about everything. I love my mom & want her to have the best care & I know I cannot provide that even with help . Any advice / help would be greatfully appreciated thank you so much.

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Thank you for your reply 😊 I am in UK .
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At the next meeting tell the group that your Mom has no one at home to help her, and that you cannot possibly be her caregiver. You need to stand firm, and if someone tells you you need to help, kindly say you cannot help.

Ask what other options there are for her. You are looking out for her best interest and that of yourself. What would your Mom do if you weren't around?

You had typed Mom and Mum, so I am not sure if you live here in the States, or in another country. I am not familiar with what other countries offer.
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