See "What power does a caregiver (no guardian) have over the rights of the elder person they care for, to communicate/socialize with others?" for background.

I got lucky last night and rang my mom when she happened to be close to the phone. We talked for an hour and twenty minutes, mostly chit-chat and general stuff. She would not talk about any specific issues or say much about current circumstances other than "I don't have no idea what they're doing. It's not my house, So they'll do whatever they want to do and when they want to do it. So ahh if I want to stay here I just keep my mouth shut and let then do what they want to do. Cause it's not my house." She was evasive and not willing to say much about specific issues such as phone calls.

Spoke briefly about a "companion" for her mentioning that the daughter doesn't want anyone coming into the house. On that matter my mom replied "...I guess I have to go by the rules of the house. When it's your house you can do what you want, but when you're living in the house when you don't own it you have to follow the rules of the house. So I follow the rules of the house."

Just about the time we were ending our conversation her daughter comes into the room and asks "Who are you talking to?" My mother answers "I will tell you later." I could hear in her voice she didn't want daughter to know she was talking to me. Fear of...

The very next day, MOTHER'S DAY, I called and was greeted with the message "Your call was completed. However the party you are calling is not receiving calls at this time." The "CALL BLOCKING" message. My cell is also blocked. I called on a phone the daughter doesn't know about and it indeed rang through but was sadly unanswered.

I'm not doing to just sit back and let this continue until my mother dies.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I did suggest some background reading.
Mom is living with her daughter because circumstanced beyond my mother's control forced my mother to move, and because my mother has pets she refuses to give up, my mother had no place else to go for shelter. My mother has lived there for about 7 months before all this crap started.

I could care less about the daughter or her son who is an accessory to what is happening to my mom, other than what they are doing to my mom. Specific and current issues are about what is happening now that changed our past two and a half year practice of my talking to her in the phone and visiting her in person at LEAST twice a month. I am subtly trying to establish what is it my mother fears and what it is her daughter is doing to cause those fears.

Except by accident, luck or whatever, my mother is no longer free to communicate with whoever or when ever she wants. By design, daughter had made it so all calls for my mother must pass through the daughter's cell phone effectively cutting off my mother from ALL people not just me.

My own SON, having given up on trying to contact my mother on my mother's private line on MOTHER'S DAY, had to call the daughter. The daughter was at work and said she would tell his grandmother 'tomorrow' that he had called.

REGARDLESS if any issues the daughter has with me, what gives the daughter the right to do these things and what can be done (short of my going into some catatonic state to forget I even have a mother) to stop it? Even if I were to completely disassociate myself from the whole thing, it is likely the jailer will continue to torment and oppress my mother, because that is the type of person she is.
Helpful Answer (0)

Confusing. This woman is your mom, yet she's staying with "her daughter." Must be your half- or step-sister? In any case, sounds as if your questions, or more likely, your suggestions make mom uncomfortable. Perhaps you're shoulding all over her?

In any case, I'd suggest you call and speak to the daughter and see if you can clear the air.
Helpful Answer (1)

If you were asking mom for details about what is going on with sis's family "specific issues or current circumstances", and suggesting a change of some sort, you may have made mom uncomfortable. Next time just stick to questions about the weather. A lot of caregivers get very upset when relatives start with "well you should blah blah blah" because it can set the patient off for several days. Tread lightly.
Helpful Answer (2)

So who is your mom living with? Your sister? I'm confused about that and the circumstances that got mom to live with her. How far away do you live?
Helpful Answer (0)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter