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I can't bear the look on her face. I was told to take a break from visiting her for a while and I have. I just cannot stop thinking about her. This rest for me is no rest.

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Richie, if I remember your earlier post, it was getting very difficult for you to continue keeping your wife at home. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. My wife and I have talked about how we would handle such a situation and neither of us would expect the other to bear the hardship of intensive caregiving. Of course that's easy to say now. Neither of us is cognitively impaired ( some may disagree with that...). But it's difficult when the ability to reason goes away. I would ask that you trust what others are telling you about their experiences. There are some wonderful people on this site who have gone through what you are dealing with. Stay strong and keep us up to date. Best to you Bro, WR
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Not really a lot of information here, Ritchie. I'm jumping to the conclusion that your wife is in a nursing home because you could no longer care for her. You've been visiting her regularly, and some have told you that you need to take a break. You feel guilty that you're unable to care for her and want to find a way to be strong enough to be able to bring her home.

To all that? I say Whoa Nellie! What you're feeling is very natural. But you are no help to your bride if you go to visit her filled with guilt. A bright smile on your face is tonic for her soul. You KNOW that she's better off where she is. You need to find a way to remember that.

When you visit, bring her an ice cream sundae from Dairy Queen...or a tiny box of chocolates...or a little bottle of cologne or talc...or a few flowers in a mason jar vase. Bring her what my mom would have called "a pretty."

If she's in a wheelchair take her outside on the property for a short walk. Join her when the nursing home is having a special program. Help your wife collect a friend or two by opening your heart to some of the other residents.

These are a sampling of the generous gift you can give to your wife -- helping her to bloom where she's planted.

While you're making yourself scarce, make a plan. Ask yourself, "How can I enrich me wife's life?" Then, when you're ready? Get busy!

I wish you all good things, Ritchie. Check in here frequently. We can help you unburden your guilt.
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