who has lost 150.000.00 to date my two sisters and two other brothers are all agreed to stop our older brother from extorting money from our mom. what can we do now to stop this abuse
I have a brother who is currently, and has for many years, getting money out of my dad. I have POA, but it's useless in this situation. I've spoken to a lawyer about it, and as long as my dad is of sound mind, and he is, he can do with his money whatever he wants, even if he's continually getting screwed by his son. It's so hard to watch happen! I've talked to him about it for years and gotten nowhere, he falls for every hard luck story under the sun, and my brother never runs dry on those. I hope you'll have better luck, unfortunately it takes dementia to better the situation---how screwy is that?!
Who has DPOA? Does she have dementia? If she is still of sound mind, then she can do with her money what she wants. If she is incompetent, hire a good attorney to bring charges against him. Greed with family members brings out the worst in people.
Ah---this old bugaboo! My brother took about that much (?) or more from my parents--he felt very entitled as he was the oldest son (seriously, we used to joke about the lack of a throne, a kingdom and moat when he'd pull this on us!)...but b/c my parents were of sound mind, they could and did give him all they had and then some. Mother kept assuring the rest of us kids that he had been written out of the will--but that wasn't the point, it was just him being greedy and taking advantage.
IF your mom is deemed to be of sound mind, you really can't do anything. That's the sad truth. IF she 's incompetent, then you can pursue it legally or morally--but don't hold your breath. My brother died 3 years ago, penniless and nearly homeless just due to his own choices in life. The money was long gone. As far as inheritance, there isn't really anything and I personally don't care for myself, but the brother who took her and dad in and has been her primary caregiver for years is not going to be "made whole" upon her death. That saddens me.
Getting the money back will prove a huge challenge. My brother didn't work a "W-2" kind of job for the last 20 years of his life. No wages, no garnishments.
Just as others are wondering, does your mom have dementia or Alzheimer's? If so, someone's going to need to gain guardianship over your mom. Another good idea is to go after the person who took all that money, even if it means selling everything he bought with her money, and you may have to get a court order and a judgment against this person wrongfully body wasn't entitled to. Your mom really needs that money back, especially if she must account for it if she must apply for Medicaid. If she must account for it, you can explain to whoever may ask that the money was stolen and by whom. The judge can very easily have this man's wages garnished and lien any of his assets such as a home or car, even his bank account. This man can even be put in jail if proven guilty. The first step you're going to need is a police report if done in a timely manner, the sooner the better
Get some proof...debit card receipts, credit card receipts, bank account-checking and savings statements. If you know who her bank is, go there NOW! Is he a signer on all the dc, cc, checking, savings? Otherwise, they're not much you can chrg him with unless you have proof positive.
Does anyone have POA in the family? If not, that is how you can take control of your Mother's finances. You must be able to prove your Mom is not mentally capable of making sound finacial judgement because of dementia or other mental incapacities. I had my Mom make out a living will before she started mentally slipping and she named me as her POA if and when she was deemed incapable of making capable decisions herself. Well it certainly came in handy because one of my brothers kept extorting money from her and when I found out, I told him he is finished, I took her checkbook and ATM and do all her bill paying, shopping, etc. without my brother the mooch being sneaky and taking advantage of her! Both of my brothers only care about the $$$, they don't do a damn thing for her otherwise. Best of luck to you and I would find a good elder attorney and hopefully your Mom can still appoint someone responsible in the family to have POA so you can put a stop to the blood sucking brother before she is broke. It's just a shame he got as much as he has already before something was done about it.
I could write a book on this subject! We've been down that road with a Grandson and, I'll warn you it's long and difficult. A lot depends on if Mom is in her right mind. Get to an attorney that specializes in elder law.
If your mom has dementia she is considered a vulnerable adult. Adilt Protective Services may be able to help. If she feels threated by your brother APS may be able to help. Is she gives the money willingly and she is not demented or threatened there is little anybody can do.
How old is your mom?
If she ever needs Medicaid the gifts is they occurred in the five years before Medicaid application she will be subject to Medicaid penalty equal to the amount she has given to bro. For example, if she were to have a medical issue that required a nursing home which is not unusual to cost 12k a month, she would have to self pay until that penalty amount has been paid. 150k at 12,000 a month is roughly 14 months.
Mom, if eligible, could buy a long term care policy which would protect her if she had a medical issue that required nursing care.
Does your mom give money to your brother directly and willingly?
Does your mom live on her own? If not, with whom does she live?
Is someone POA? If your mom doesn't have dementia someone needs to step up and gain POA over your mom, take over her finances, and cut the brother off.
More information would help you receive more detailed responses.
IF your mom is deemed to be of sound mind, you really can't do anything. That's the sad truth. IF she 's incompetent, then you can pursue it legally or morally--but don't hold your breath. My brother died 3 years ago, penniless and nearly homeless just due to his own choices in life. The money was long gone. As far as inheritance, there isn't really anything and I personally don't care for myself, but the brother who took her and dad in and has been her primary caregiver for years is not going to be "made whole" upon her death. That saddens me.
Getting the money back will prove a huge challenge. My brother didn't work a "W-2" kind of job for the last 20 years of his life. No wages, no garnishments.
How old is your mom?
If she ever needs Medicaid the gifts is they occurred in the five years before Medicaid application she will be subject to Medicaid penalty equal to the amount she has given to bro. For example, if she were to have a medical issue that required a nursing home which is not unusual to cost 12k a month, she would have to self pay until that penalty amount has been paid. 150k at 12,000 a month is roughly 14 months.
Mom, if eligible, could buy a long term care policy which would protect her if she had a medical issue that required nursing care.
Does your mom give money to your brother directly and willingly?
Does your mom live on her own? If not, with whom does she live?
Is someone POA? If your mom doesn't have dementia someone needs to step up and gain POA over your mom, take over her finances, and cut the brother off.
More information would help you receive more detailed responses.