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I use the term "sibling" loosely. My dad has 13 children by at least 8 different women. His oldest daugther (that we know of) has been conveniently calling him a lot more lately and sharing disturbing news with him. It's everything from "I'm about to lose my home." to "My breast cancer has returned." to whatever other dismal woe-is-me type nonsense she'd like to share. This, of course, sends Dad into a tail spin. Last night they had to give him 2 Ativan because he "needed to get to California" to help her out. I don't share many details with these leeches about Dad's condition, especially that he's in hospice, because they will try to bleed him dry, but this needs to STOP. Dad has enough health issues on his plate. I do NOT want him worrying about things he can not control. I don't want to restrict her from talking to Dad. He seems to worship the ground she walks on, but I need her to respect the fact that these conversations only cause more issues. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this? Sidenote: The last time we saw this awful woman was at my brother's funeral five years ago. Guess who had to foot the bill for her travel, before I was appointed POA?!?! She's just an awful human being.

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I don't know if this helps any, but I told my brothers several years ago not to tell mom any stories that didn't have happy endings.

With my mom, what got her upset was that there was something she needed to worry about and she generally had difficulty remembering what it was, so she'd become panicked.

And no, sibling probably won't get that, sigh.
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Thanks for the feedback everyone.

I've asked her to not share her "negative energy" with Dad in the past, but I'm not sure if she even gets the messages. Her cell phone number changes quite often.

I also let her know that I have 100% control of Dad's money, and that he doesn't have any extra to help her out, but I don't think she cares.

I wonder if she understands the magnitude of how this affects him -- or if she cares. Sadly, the last time I tried to tactfully ask her not to do this, she ended up "tattling" to Dad, and once again, I was made out to be a monster... YIKES.
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Tiny... your father must have done some things right to deserve a daughter like you.

Tell the other sort of daughter - and I do have to wonder if this sort is equally deserved? Would you say? - that your father isn't able to manage his own funds and they are tightly controlled and ring-fenced for his care. Mention it in passing, don't make it an accusation; but get the message across and then she'll either keep calling or she won't, and you'll know where everybody stands.
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Dear Tinyblu,

I'm so sorry. I know dealing with family is never easy. I don't know if we can every do anything about people who behave this way. I would say cut her off completely, but I know you don't want to hurt your dad. See if you can have a heart to heart with her and see if she can least back off a bit. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
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I wish I knew the answer. My brother would always regale Mom with tales of financial woe and she would be obsessed with how to help him. She tried all sorts of schemes to get the money from me (POA) to get it to him, including soliciting friends to say that she owed them money. The plan was that I would send a check tot he friend and the friend would give brother the money.

The problem is, I can't cut off contact because his calls mean so much to her and it would be cruel not to give her that joy.

I told him that if I caught him asking her for money I would cut off his ____. He must have believed me because he never directly asked for money again but he would still bring up his difficulties and hint that he needed help.

I can only wish you luck.
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