Mom is a Dementia/Alzheimer patient. Late august 2010 mom started to refuse the Ensure , water and taking meds. I thought this was because of being taken off of 40mg Namenda in a hospitalization 1 week prior. I couldn't accept that due to my mom's disablity, that I could let her not drink or eat. I didn't realize that it was her time to start shutting down. Now, 5 months later, mom has full time care at her own home, but always talks about wanting to die, and can do nothing for herself. She speaks and sometimes says very appropriate and meaningful things. Other times she is very agitated. She says that she loves me, smiles when she sees me and her grandsons, yet quickly gets agitated and wants to go back to her bed. I have two aids in the morning to walk her, just so her legs don't atrophy. She cannot stand, and walking is very difficult with even two people. I have tried to rehab her for the last 4 months, but I don't see any more progress; She likes to say Hi to me on the phone, but quickly gets agitated with me when I visit (twice weekly) . I think it is because she wants me there to rescue her or that i remind her of all the things she used to be able to do. She has a tube in her belly with tape securing it on her skin. She maybe takes sips of water in a cup. I have lately been considering evaluating her medications, thinking which ones should I cut out, that is perpetuating her existence. I have a DNR in place which was a big step for me. It is so difficult for me to be in such a conflicting position. I have tried to keep her healthy for so many years, and I feel responsible for her suffering now because there was no living will by her that addressed feeding tube. She did not let them pull the plug for her own mother(my grandma) and I did what I thought was right. How contradictory is it now to feed her artifically, yet praying that God takes her without me having to decide how long she should continue her life as is with her current medications. My one and only brother lives around the block from her, yet has seen her only once in 4 years. He has MS and is bedridden living in a hospital bed in his living room. He and his wife cannot deal with my mom and thus, I am the only one who has to make all the decisions. I've read comments about how long do you want to keep a late stage Alzheimer's patient alive with supportive meds, I just know that I will feel guilty and that I somehow caused her death. Yet she still talks to me and knows who I am and tells me she wants to die. I would want to die if I were in her shoes. I don't know what to do and any supports or comments would be appreciated. I feel so alone with this because no one in my immediate family can comprehend the gut wrenching feelings of loss, impending loss, and responsibility you have over your parents well-being.