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My family has a similar issue. I have one sibling, who married a very greedy lawyer. My mother took me to her lawyer, and what they did was very clever. The whole thing was put in a trust, I was made trustee, and included in the document is a provision that if I am attacked by them legally, I am allowed to pay to defend myself with their portion of the inheritance. They also get nothing if they contest the will.

They lawyer looked at me, and said "they aren't going to be friends with you after this, you understand that, right?" You bet! they're not friends with me now anyhoo, so who cares! LOL At any rate, I think you should follow suit. I found once this was in place, I did not get upset at their shenanigans, because I had ironclad protection. I sleep well now!
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It sounds very similar to my situation. I am the youngest of five children. Ever since my mother went into a nursing home last year, it has been H**l to pay. Although I will always love my older siblings, for now I have distanced myself from the two oldest with no contact. I need this distance so that I can love and care for my mother for what little time she has left. Last, but not least, get an attorney. If they won't respect your boundaries, review all of your options with an attorney.
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....as an old song goes....she's trouble with a capitol T. Sounds like if she screams and yelps enough she's used to getting her way. If you don't care about the money...sell the house so Mom can have some peace and quiet in ass. living. They usually cost from 3 to 5 thousand a month....when the money is gone there usually is a type of elder waiver that will help out. Save your/her money and document document document everything that goes on. Not emotional name calling etc. just make sure you let "them" know what a pain she's been and what you've done for your Mom. Save documents and make everything neat and easy to get through. I think your sister is mentaly ill really so until Mom passes and maybe after--sis will always have temper tantrums--because ---she can and throws fear/anger into everyone---translation: she's getting attention bad or good---IT'S ALL HERS AND SHE'S HAPPY!
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@palmtrees1, I am on the deed because I have put over $120,000 into the house. In retrospect, I wouldn't have done it this way. My parents would have had to sell their decrepit house (in a down market) and gone into assisted living, which neither of them wanted to do. My mother is not leaving any of her part of the house to me in her will, so I actually only receive what I already have paid for, not to mention the work I have put into caregiving. As I said, I would gladly get off the deed if I could recoup only my investment in order to buy a house for myself. My sister is unable to grasp that she is actually getting more than I will, and she didn't sacrifice eight years of paychecks and Social Security. Most likely, we will sell the house before my mother dies, I will take only the money I put into it, and my mother can leave the rest to the SPCA if she so wishes. I'd love to see my sister bring a lawsuit against a bunch of cats.

@kazzaa, if I understand your arrangement, your sister only gets a share of the proceeds from the house when your mum dies. So if you have to sell it beforehand for your mum's care, your sister won't get anything (it's the same with my mom's house). I know just how difficult it is to talk with your mum about her estate and her wishes for her end of life care, but I would advise having a family meeting with the lawyer, so it's clear to everyone involved what the arrangements are. I wish I had done that before we moved in to my mother's house.
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Poor you the sh.... is about to hit the fan here too! Whatever you do do not take your name off those deeds! Get a lawyer and POA your mum dosnt want her there so that part is easy.

My mum has five kids 4 who give a crap none of us 4 own a house my elder sister had 2 houses paid in full has never helped my mum out when things were quite tough here im going way back. Now my mum has left the house to us 4 BUT has put in her will that my sis gets X amount when house is sold? So if we have to use mums house for her care in a NH there may be little left for us BUT my sis may get her share coming out better than us?? Its so hard to discuss this with my mum as she just says i dont really want to leave her anything But im afraid shed commit suicide if I left her nothing? Family coming next week to discuss mums care and if we are to give up our inheritence for mums sake then why should she get anything? I myslelf will have to talk to a lawyer but if mum dosnt change her will now then i dont think we stand a chance. Its not the money its her getting a share when shes done nothing for mum her whole entire life. So hard for parents to see thier kids turn out so selfish and still feel they have to leave them something?
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So I am assuming your mother and you are on the deed. Your mother can gift the house to you as long as she doesn't need the money for five more years. Then it would be yours. However, your sister is going to be real trouble so I would seek the advice of a lawyer to tie up all the loose ends and to make sure this is all legal.

Be prepared to piss off all of your siblings. Sorry but this is why it is best not to put your kids on your property/accounts before you die. Just leave it all in your estate and let them divide it up when the dust settles.

One reason most lawyers advise not leaving out children from a will or showing favorites is because of the legacy it creates. You leave discord behind and anger. You have to ask yourself is that what you really want to do. It carries on to the next generation and never ends.
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@julidu, thanks for the advice, and I'm sorry about your sister. My mom is of sound mind and has told my sister numerous times what the situation is, sent her the will, etc., but it doesn't seem to penetrate. We're going to consult with an estate planner about fool-proofing the will, and I would like for my mother to write a letter to all the sibs about how much I have invested in the house and the help I have given her and my dad, and get them to sign it. My investment has increased the property value - we added another bedroom and full bathroom among other things. Ironically, when she was here, my sister pointed out all the things I haven't upgraded yet. At least dealing with her makes me appreciate the nice people in my life even more.
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There's one in every family... I also have a sister who seems to think that the world owes her. She was the only grandchild to get anything from my grandfather's estate (no, it was not in the Will - my mom). She's told my us my parents house is hers when they pass (uh... why? That is not in their Will)

There is nothing you will be able to do to get her to stop. If she's that jealous and greedy (or thinks she's entitled) you will not change her behavior. By trying to appease her your enabling her. All of this is from my experience with my sister. My therapist recommend I stop engaging her. We will talk but as soon as she starts with the crap I literally get up and walk away.
Does your mom have dementia? Is she of "sound mind" if so, I would gather all supporting documentation of what you have done with the home and go to a lawyer. If possible get your other siblings support. Explain you would get like your invest back as a "thank you" for taking care of your parents so they didn't. Ask if it can be separate from the "inheritance". Did the100K investment increase the property value? Point that out - you made all of them a little extra.
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