I am the youngest of four children. We're all middle-aged. For the past eight years, I've been caring for my elderly parents. Unfortunately, I went into this situation without a clear outline of my duties and financial responsibilities. My parents wished to stay in their home and asked me and my family (husband and 2 kids) to move in with them. My parents had been unable to keep up the maintenance on their house, and though I came over to help out each weekend, the house needed major renovations. So when I moved in, we all decided together to put my name on the deed so I could take out a loan to repair the house.
My father died of cancer a few years ago. I, my mother and my husband cared for him at home. My siblings did not visit or help. They did come for a memorial service, whereupon one sister threw a major tantrum about her "inheritance." She seemed to think that the house would go to her and not my mom. Ever since then, she has been obsessed with the house, alternately begging to move in with us and badmouthing me on Facebook. She portrays me as a freeloader, even though she's the one always borrowing money from our mother. She even has friends drive by the house to report back to her. I know she's going through a hard time, but she's managed to alienate all her siblings, and my mother doesn't want her here. This sister even received a $7K life insurance policy from my father that the rest of us didn't get, but she's already blown through the money.
What I worry about most is that after my mother dies, my mother's part of the house will be split among my other siblings, and I am sure this sister will drag me into court arguing about what she proclaims is an "unfair" split. She has already been involved in many lawsuits with other people. I would like to remove my name from the deed, so that it's not an issue, but I have over $100K invested in the house. I don't see any way out of this tangle other than to sell the house, which would mean moving my mother out of her own home.
After talking with my mother's pastor, I realized that this sister feels that I am the "favorite" child, and that she's been shortchanged (despite doing nothing for our parents). The pastor thinks that removing my name from the deed won't actually solve the problem. Even so, I want the strife over my mother's future estate to end. I don't even care about getting any money - I would be happy with nothing if that would stop my sister from causing me stress. I have repeatedly told her that my mother may need to sell the house anyway if she needs to go into care, but my sister doesn't listen to facts or reason. She's very difficult to communicate with, because she only talks about herself.