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Hi my daughter keeps bringing up the past and I have apologized repeatedly. I have even suggested counseling together. She calls me 99 % of the time with dramatic events, or about a fight she had with someone, crying, or mad or about her OCD issues. I told her that I was not able to listen to her issues all the time and was sick and tired of the drama because it was emotional draining me. I never said she couldn' t call me anymore! I also told her I love her but when ever I give advice she never takes it. I told her she needs to talk about her OCD to a professional counselor. She proceeded to say but you have OCD and you gave it to me through DNA and should be their for me no matter what and freak out and call me all kinds of names and says I am her Mother and have to listen to her and should be able to call with her problems all the time she threaten to call her Dad and my siblings? In the mean time I am taking care of my Mom who has Parkinson's and my stepdad who does not do domestic duties. I apologized for saying I was sick and tired to her. It was hell over the Christmas Holliday's she was texting and phoning etc...... Any suggestions? I am feeling guilty all the time do I have a right has a person to not want to solve all her problems or listen to them? I have also apologized for making mistakes has a parent in the past but does it need to be brought up constantly and her Dad is consistently feeding negative towards me because he is bitter?

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Thank you all for your advice much appreciated.
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I agree with all the above. I chime in only to drive home the point of counseling for yourself. It has saved my life. Literally. Just Google mental health in your county to get started. You can only go on a guilt trip if you accept the ticket for the ride. Your guilty feelings is not helping you. Please get some tools to help you deal with this. Take care!!
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It sounds like you have done everything that could be expected. Once you do that, it's up to other people to process it and take care of themselves. Support from mom is great, but it sounds like she id demanding more than that and it's not healthy.

Continuing to wallar in misery isn't productive. Perhaps you daughter isn't even aware she's doing it. Nonetheless, she needs a wake up call.

I have read that some people get used to dealing with drama, crisis, discord and they actually thrive on it, because it's what they are used to. Their psyche craves drama. Life isn't interesting without it. They have to learn a new normal. A therapist could provide her with tools to do that.

One might give you some tools too. Getting toxic people to leave you alone seems to be a big problem as I read about it on these boards all the time. There are many dysfunctional families. I wish you all the best.
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Overwhelm, find yourself a therapist tomorrow, perhaps with the help of your own doctor. YOU can't help your daughter right now.
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Have you ever done any counselling just for yourself? Perhaps a counsellor would be able to suggest strategies for you to deal with your daughter, or at least not let her push your buttons! In the meantime you need to tell your daughter "I love you but I cant keep talking about your issues. Lets talk about something positive for a change." And when she starts to dump on you, just redirect the conversation or say goodbye.
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Thank you all, I am very stressed at the moment and this has been going on for years I remember apologizing to both my adult children on many occasions. I have even been blamed of my ex husband becoming gay?
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There will be a full moon on January 4th. Just take the phone off the hook, all day, and you might survive. Obviously she is not taking her meds and her hormones have gotten to her. Not your circus, not your monkeys. When the emotional blackmail starts, tell her you don't give in to extortion and hang up the phone.
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I could only dream of my mother apologizing to me for any of her parenting mistakes or feeling bad for a second for the heavy genetic burden she's passed down to me. And I never in a million years have acted toward her the way your daughter is acting. Your daughter is absolutely taking advantage of your kind nature and it's sad because you actually are meeting her more than halfway. I definitely echo Jeannegibbs advice. And be pre-warned this is totally armchair psychology from me, but to me it sounds like your daughter may have issues with BPD as well as OCD. Please be good to yourself and realize that there may be no amount than you can give that will ever be enough for her to feel peace.
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Holy cow! What a mess!

Of course you do not have to agree to continually be her emotional dumping ground. You are giving her excellent advice in urging to get professional counseling. And offering to participate in joint counseling was excellent, too.

I assume she is an adult. You can give advice but you can't force her to take it. You can, however, refuse to listen to the same issues she refused your advice about over and over.

If you just need a little affirmation that you need to stand up to her, you've got it from me. (And I imagine from many other posters here.) If you need additional support to do that, going to a counselor yourself might not be a bad idea.

To keep listening to her over and over might be a kind of enabling her. She needs to take steps to help herself. She isn't doing that while she is blaming you. Stop taking all of her calls and responding to all of her texts. Set limits. If she drags up the past again, say calmly and firmly that you are not going to continue discussing that until she wants to do it in a counselor's office.

She can, of course, call her dad and aunts and uncles all she wants. Are your siblings aware of the context of these calls?

I am normally very much in favor of sincere acknowledgement of fault, but in this case it sounds like you may be apologizes too much.
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