She lives 1 and a half hours away from me. Lives alone on a walker and is 88 years old. It seems that for the past few months it has been one thing after the other. There is no one else for her to turn to. Other people think I should take care of her (make sure she is ok has everything she needs) etc. I order her groseries and if she couldn't afford to live in her house anymore I would take her to live with me if I had to. But she has her own mind and it is fine. She is stubborn, rigid, anxious. Thinks her opinion is always right. She has doctor appointment on Thursday it will be very cold. I said change the appointment. She said my brother is taking her and he would say to go anyway. He is middle age and has personality disorder. She won't go against him. She is co-dependent and Adult Protective Services wouldn't do anything. She is also negative any suggestion I make she has a reason why it is not a good idea. I am not taking care of myself medically, When I get stressed out by her I have trouble doing anything. All I want to do is sleep or stare out the window. I'm sick of the stress and my mom.
Your meds probably need to be adjusted and to stop destroying your life because of the stress of caring for your mom just might require going to a therapist because emotionally, it sounds like you are trapped in dysfunctional family system that you can't free yourself from just on your own.
Reach out and get some help for yourself. That is the only way that you are going to stop destroying your life! Do something first chance you get on Monday to reach out and get yourself some help for your well being like call the doctor's office about needing an appointment for a possible adjustment of your meds; looking up a therapist and if need be find a counseling service that only charges on a sliding scale according to your ability to pay. Don't just let life happen to you. Take charge of what you have left and find ways to stop destroying yourself!