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And get him to turn over his finances to my caregiver mother? My dad has dementia and goes to the bank and takes out money without my mother's knowledge and she has no idea what he is spending it on or doing with it. She is afraid he will do something financially reckless. We submitted a letter from his neurologist to the bank that said he is not capable of handling financial affairs, but the bank manager stated that is not enough. We would need a court order. They live in New Jersey.

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One can also set up checking where it would take BOTH your Dad's and your Mom's signature for your Dad to get any cash. You can make up a story and tell your Dad because of all the fraud going on everywhere, it is safer to have this type of checking account... maybe he will believe that.
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Thanks for your responses. My father has always acted independently...he never really ran things by my mom but sort of told her what he was going to do sometimes after the fact. Ages my Dad is 82 , mom 77. Yes I live near them 50 minutes away. My mom's health is starting to fail...heart problems getting worse (stress probably), arthritis and she cannot control my father at all. He is born in August ..you know --Leo the Lion (hear me roar). He knows something is wrong lately he has been having visual hallucinations (its really scary seeing this happen to him). I have siblings -- I guess we will have to find a way to help them through this medical/health crisis. Thanks again for the feedback.
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In addition to your Mom withdrawing funds and putting them in a separate account, she can move direct deposits on her funds (social security for sure) to a separate account in her name only. This can be done online after you help her open a new account. Can you keep him away from the bank or ATM card? Others may have more input if you fill out more info. How old are your parents? Are they near you? Is your Mom in good health? etc.
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Yes, you will need a court order for the bank to make changes based on his dementia.

However, my question is whether your father was previously in the habit of doing whatever he wanted with his money - or did he previously always "run things by" your mother first? If he never consulted her in the past, he surely won't do it now.

Is your mother a joint account holder? If so, she could sign up for online banking and monitor his withdrawals that way.

Is he actually doing reckless spending.....or it is just your mother's fear? If she has proof, then your mother needs to withdraw most of the money out of the account and put it in a new account that your father cannot touch. She will not be able to stop his "reckless spending" since he is probably powerless to control it. It would be easier to just "cut off" some of his funds so he is limited in what he has to spend.
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