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I have been taking care of mom for 4 yrs w/o problems until he moved in. 4 yrs ago my brother left to TX. I have lived with and taken care of mom. In 2013 she drew up a POA in my name. About a yr ago John(bro) had came back destitute, moved in, and is making life for me unbearable and upsetting mom. She is 89 and on hospice. He destroyed the POA and seems to have the nurse and social wrkr in his pocket. I work and so I am away during the day when they come. I have no idea what lies he told them. He relentlessly provokes me at home until I either lose it or have to leave. Mom has dementia and is heavily medicated and is starting to believe him. He tells her I don't care about her all the time. I think he overmedicates her to keep her confused and easier to manage. I am afraid of what he is up to and not sure I can stop it. Please someone, help me. You know, the last thing he said to me before he went to TX was that he was done with mom. He married in TX and she left him, he had no job, his car was repo'd, evicted from his apt. He only came back because he had no place else to go.

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BTW, this is not the brother I trust. The alcoholic brother died 10 years ago.
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Man, if my brother moved in and took over, I would say Party Time and take a well-earned vacation. But then I trust my brother. As it is now, you'll just have to work with him and see how it is playing out. He is her son. Is it her house? Then your mother would have the say-so.

It would be nice if you and he could get on the same page and help each other with the care. From what you said, that isn't going to happen. Unless your mother is wealthy I wouldn't be surprised if your brother's interest fades out if other prospects come his way. Maybe there is a job you could help him locate. Maybe you could set him up on a date with a girl that you don't like very much (kidding here).

Your situation reminds me a bit of how it was with my alcoholic brother back in 2005. He had hit bottom and moved in with my parents. My mother was desperate and asked me to come home to help. My father despised my brother, as did I. There was so much stress. The only way I could handle his manipulation and lies was to pull myself above him and not be deceived. I had worked with junkies, so an alcoholic was no big challenge to me. I also locked my wallet in the glove box of my car -- a good thing, since he went into my purse twice when I was around.

The main thing, though, was putting myself at a plane higher than the one he was on. He couldn't bother me that way.
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Document your allegations and call APS to protect your mother.

Just because the POA was destroyed doesn't invalidate it. The attorney who prepared it would have a copy as well as a conformed original. Contact him or her and get a copy of the conformed original.
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You should never have let him move back into the house...much less left the POA around where he could find and destroy it. "Please help me," appears to be the reason for your post here. Not very specific.

Your mom is the #1 Priority. It's her home. And she's dying. If you can't find a way to get along with your brother, then you'll have to move, I guess, because no one is going to throw your brother out. That ship sailed when he moved in.
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