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He's 93 and just married 6.24.14. 3 sibs are outa any desicions/visit. Father's stepdaughter changed his meds at hospital. She is of no blood relation. We are concerned because we three from first marriage have no knowledge when our father was hospitalized until 16 hours after he was admitted to hospital. I am the youngest of 4 children and when I asked to stay with him over night stepdaughter threatend to have me removed. I spoke to hosp. social worker, she told me I could visit as long as dad would agree. Stepmom left angry with me because dad said okay for me to stay. We can no longer go to his home we built. Their son's Pitbull bit stepmom in the mouth. Pit bull is indoors along with son 40, and two other dogs. We think stepmom is over-medicating dad. Food in pantry is Years Old. What are the first family privileges? Can they keep funeral and other important information from us? Everything is done without our knowledge.I don't know if they will let us know when he dies. She is That type of person. She had me kicked out the first night father was hospitalized. I was not on the 'list' at hospital to see him or find any information out.

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ICU visitation is standardly limited to immediate family, and even then, the doctors may prefer that those members restrict their visits so the patient can heal. ICU means among other things that the patient needs a higher level of care, and shouldn't have to feel obligated to engage in conversations. There's also the risk of contamination from visitors, depending on what medical conditions the patient has.

I don't understand what the pit bull has to do with anything.

I see a situation in which there's a lot of friction, which hopefully can be negotiated down to a more cooperative level and put aside so all of you can focus on your father's health and healing.
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Not the healthcare proxy, just visits and information.
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Wife has first rights on a global basis. Stepdaughters do not change meds, they are given or stopped by an MD order. You are correct to seek out the social worker or the Ombudsman for help in visiting, but as far as taking over his medical decisions, you are out of luck unless he issued you a Health Care Proxy a long time ago.
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