So, short story:
91 year old Dad, Parkinson's, dementia (at least partially Alzheimers), depression, currently in assisted living, $10K left in his bank account, nearly-depleted $115K home equity loan, only income from Social Security
88 year old stepmom, cancer, aneurysm, living at home (which is in a trust in Dad's name, for which I am likely to become the trustee given his dementia)
First off, we do have an elder care attorney to handle the legal aspects.
I'm looking for a reality check and some ideas. The doctors think Dad will need memory care in 2-3mo, which will likely cost $5000+/month more than what's available (including his longterm care insurance). Our ideal scenario is her and Dad in the same community--her in independent living, him in memory care. She says she's not ready for 'senior living' and claims she won't be able to move out of the house by mid-October.
Is it realistic she needs nearly four months to relocate (less than 30min away)?
Is there something we can do to facilitate the move to make her more comfortable?
Should we start asking for rent? Her monthly income includes SS (hers and her husbands), pension (hers and her husbands), and revenue from a small apartment building left to her by her husband
I know we can't force her to move to a certain location, and, even though we think it would be better for Dad for them to be in the same community, maybe we can live with her moving to an apartment so we can monetize the house.