My dad has beginning memory loss but remembers events in his life and can carry on conversations. He keep telling me he want out of that nasty place. She doesn't care for him as told by the administration.
So, Iana, you want to be in charge of dad's care? I suggest you stay with him around the clock for 48 hours and see how much he can do for himself.
Talk to the director of Nursing and tell her you still want staff caring for him, that you're there to observe and figure out if you can do the job better at home.
This is a bit confusing. People can't just be put into NH's. They have to qualify for them by not being able to do certain things for themselves. If he is of sound mind and can care for himself, he could leave and go home. People can't be held against their will without reason. I suspect there is a good reason he was placed in the NH. Many times people talk about how they want to leave and how bad someone is for putting them there, particularly if there is dementia. What does your step sister say? Did he live by himself before being placed? Who qualified him for placement? There has to be a lot more to the story.
I am reminded of my aunt who had bladder cancer. She was thin as a rail and too weak to walk. She was in a NH so she could receive the care she needed. Still, anytime anyone visited, she would talk about wanting to go home. Everyone knew she was where she needed to be, but she only wanted to go home.
If Dad is still competent to make decisions, he could easily name someone else as his POA (you, perhaps?)
BTW, there is no requirement that Dad inform or consult anyone else when he names a POA. The document does have to be notarized to verify that he signed it. Do you think step-sister coerced him? That is very easy to remedy. Dad just picks someone else, revoking the previous document, and signing in front of a notary. Why would Dad pick step-sister if he was suing her for her treatment of his mother?
A lot of this doesn't make sense. There must be a bigger story behind this.
But the real question isn't so much who did what to whom as it is what is best for Father. What stage is his prostate cancer in? Did treatment stop because it was effective, or because there is no more to be done?
As Jessie points out, nursing homes are not like hotels you can just check into because you want to. So after Dad's cancer treatment stopped, if he was then well enough that he didn't need skilled nursing care he would be discharged. So some professional evaluaters must think he needs to be there. Have you discussed his situation with the director of nursing? Do you attend the quarterly care plan meetings for your father?
If Dad makes you healthcare POA, where would you put him?
I'd be careful of taking bits and pieces about a seniors abilities and interpreting them as signs of him being fine. Sometimes, memory is not the major issue when a senior is in need of care. They may recall events, but, not be able to remember to eat or take medication. They may know who family members are, but, have sleep disorders that causes them to stay up all night or to wander. It's hard to say just what level of care a person needs, from just short conversations. And the person may also misreport information, because they believe things that may not be true. I might explore more of the details that could have caused the placement. Normally, a doctor has to sign off that it's needed too.
I checked and saw that it is true -- only the owner of a policy can change a beneficiary. If your father owned the policy, he must have done it himself. You may want to talk to him or your step sister about why it was done that way. Unless your step sister owned the policy she couldn't have changed it.
He had prostate cancer and she said he was going there while being treated but he is better. He talks to us about every day things and things that happened in the past and he said that girl don't come check on me or nothing and I'm tired of these folks here and I want out of here.
Talk to the director of Nursing and tell her you still want staff caring for him, that you're there to observe and figure out if you can do the job better at home.
I am reminded of my aunt who had bladder cancer. She was thin as a rail and too weak to walk. She was in a NH so she could receive the care she needed. Still, anytime anyone visited, she would talk about wanting to go home. Everyone knew she was where she needed to be, but she only wanted to go home.
BTW, there is no requirement that Dad inform or consult anyone else when he names a POA. The document does have to be notarized to verify that he signed it. Do you think step-sister coerced him? That is very easy to remedy. Dad just picks someone else, revoking the previous document, and signing in front of a notary. Why would Dad pick step-sister if he was suing her for her treatment of his mother?
A lot of this doesn't make sense. There must be a bigger story behind this.
But the real question isn't so much who did what to whom as it is what is best for Father. What stage is his prostate cancer in? Did treatment stop because it was effective, or because there is no more to be done?
As Jessie points out, nursing homes are not like hotels you can just check into because you want to. So after Dad's cancer treatment stopped, if he was then well enough that he didn't need skilled nursing care he would be discharged. So some professional evaluaters must think he needs to be there. Have you discussed his situation with the director of nursing? Do you attend the quarterly care plan meetings for your father?
If Dad makes you healthcare POA, where would you put him?
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