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My step father's wishes where for him and my mom to stay together as long as possible before he passes. He is currently inpatient for pain management but will be discharged in a few days for hospice care. His son has medical and durable power of attorney and does not get along with my mother. My mother does not drive due to some early dementia and psychiatric issues for which she is on medication for. His son has not allowed her to visit her husband unless she is with me or my siblings due to the tension and resentment of each other. My step-father is extremely coherent except when he has just received a high dose of pain medication. His son has been telling him that there is nowhere he can be transferred locally that they can afford and has NO CHOICE but to move to his home-town where his funeral will be held. He has clearly told him over the past few months he was not moving and wanted to be with or near his wife! He will be discharged soon and has been approved to transfer back to the nursing facility close to his wife. His son is planning on taking him out of town and has not even told them what is going to happen! What happens when He refuses to go?? Or if he finds out after he is in the car?? His son has no intentions on keeping them together and has told us that our mom is OUR responsibility. The crazy thing is that his son lives out of state and there are no family members living in the town he is taking him to! Should I talk to my step-dad and warn him? Will that make the situation worse?? I feel helpless!

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I'd discuss the situation with the hospital's discharge planners. You don't have authority to make decisions for Dad, but you can point out that Dad is coherent and should therefore be allowed to make his own decisions.
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There's a good chance the old man will die in transport. Stay out of it. You console mom and leave it at that.
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Has your stepfather been declared legally incompetent? If not, I think if it were me - I'd likely tell him what's up. It will likely cause a mess with everyone mad at everyone- and the possibility that the son washes his hands of the whole situation. Are you ready for all of that?
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