Stealing accusations. Any suggestions?

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My mother keeps accusing my daughter of taking a ring off her finger and not giving it back. I tried to tell her its getting fixed' but now she'd getting angry asting she didn't break it. No one in family knows what this ring she describes looks like. If so I would just buy another one. She doesn't remember much but she will bring this incident up out of the blue. She will either say it was one of her female grandchildren at diffrent times that ripped it off her finger. Usually it's my daughter since we are her caretakers. Help

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
Yvonne; the "stealing" accusation is very much part of many folk's dementia. Something that they remember having (maybe years ago) is gone, so it must have been stolen, right?

I'd try comforting her, telling her that you're sorry that it's missing and promising to look all around for it. But what this really is is agitation.

Talk to her doctor about the fact that she is increasingly agitated. Sometimes meds can help with this.
Top Answer
I agree with Barb. My mother, who also suffered from Vascular Dementia, was very delusional and had many hallucinations. People were ALWAYS stealing from her, in her own home and also at the nursing home. At her home, she called the police to report that a man who was “stalking” her had broken into her apartment and stolen her wallet. You will find much the same story with most people on this site who are dealing with loved ones with dementia.

Since she is fixated on the ring, you are doing the right thing by telling her it’s at the jeweler’s being repaired. If you don’t, she will only become more upset. Make sure everyone who comes in contact with her tells her the same story. It’s pretty much the only thing you can do.
Yvonne, excellent advice given by Barb and Hugemom.

I came across this article here on Aging Care about memory issues and thefts. This is one tough phase for everyone to go through. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/stealing-theft-accusations-alzheimers-dementia-133383.htm
My MIL had her rings stolen out of her home during a robbery. She insisted (and insists to this day) that my then-toddler daughter somehow climbed on the kitchen counter and took them out of the soap dish. She was a BABY and wasn't even walking when this happened, but MIL fixated on it. We know the rings were stolen as part of a robbery, as the perp actually SAID he'd taken them, and then pawned them.....but in her mind, my daughter was a little thief.

MIL doesn't have "dementia" as such, but she is VERY "dotty" and unable to process information outside her comfort zone. If she sees a mouse outdoors, she assumes that mouse wants to come into her warm house, so she is sprinkling D-Con around the yard to "scare" the mice away. This is just how her mind works.....she's accused me of so many things that I have not done--now it just falls on deaf ears.

We've been dealing with this for 30+ years. She just gets slightly less able to think coherently every year.
Thank you all so much

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