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My sister with dementia moved in 15 mos ago and she thinks most things in my house belong to her and that I stole them from her in years past. I can deal with this. But she then squirrels things away so I can't find them--things that are inconsequential but needed like my glasses, cookbooks, spatula, cheese grater etc. I find it really hard to be nice when I'm in the middle of something and need--for example--a spatula. I get exasperated, knowing she has hidden it thinking it's hers, but has no recollection of where she has hidden it. Same with my glasses--I usually wear contacts and am EXTREMELY nearsighted. When I've taken out my contacts because an eye is scratched, there is NO WAY I can find my glasses in some hidey-hole in her room.

What's a good strategy for dealing with this??

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Thank you for all these thoughtful answers,especially "This is not your sister taking your things...it is the dementia" "Try not to take it personally."
Oh how important ..and difficult... this is to remember! I will try to make this my mantra. AND I'll get some drawer locks.

And I will try to linre up everything I need before starting to cook or before doing a project.

I think what is hardest for me about caregiving is that I have to be so much more organized and proactive than I have ever been before. When I am really organized and on top of things, I simply don't get frustrated or exasperated. I can be my best self if I'm well-organized.

Thanks to all of you for bringing me to this insight.
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You asked how you stay kind and positive.

It is hard.

I think it helps to remind yourself that this is the nature of the disease. This is not your sister taking your things ... it is the dementia. And also think about why your sister is living with you. You are extremely generous to be her caregiver. Be true to your own generous and kind nature. This doesn't mean you never get aggravated, just that your overriding emotion is compassion.

It sounds like you are protecting things in your room. You might get some cupboard locks and extend that preventative barrier. Most persons with dementia who hide things (and it is common) use the same hiding places repeatedly, so once you discover them it will be (theoretically) easier to find them.

It is very common for persons with dementia to want to hide things, to keep them from being stolen. That your sister thinks you stole the items in the first place is just a variation on this theme. Try not to take it personally.

You are obviously a kind, positive, and thoughtful person. Call upon your own good nature to get you through this. You are doing a wonderful thing!
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I forgot to mention,I do have a lock on my bedroom door.All stuff I value or is dangerous is out of reach or in my room.
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Put a lock on your bedroom door. Lock up all knives and other sharps. Cupboards can be secured with childproof cabinet locks. Look for them in the baby department or find them on amazon.
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My mom was doing this too.She came out with my glasses on top of her head....I have NO idea,except hid things if you really need them.God forbid my mother had stolen my inhaler.I would be dead!
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Get a glass holder that goes around your neck. Then she would have to take it off your neck to hide it. These things they tend to "forget about" sometimes feels like sabotage. My husband does it to me all the time.
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