I placed Mom in a nice facility in the summer, and assumed this phone conference I was instructed to attend was re Mom's care plan. Instead the Ombudsman, Atty., DON, Unit Mgr., Hospice Nurse, Social Services Director, Administrator... all attending took turns describing my Mother being in pain, and reportedly told me my Mom was very capable of asking for RX for pain and did not need to confer with myself (POA). I agreed and since my Mom was also in attendance, agreed and confirmed as well, but said she was confused. I proceeded to explain, that when my Mom was initially admitted, the Nurses took the liberty of administering some dosage of morphine for several days, and without her requesting pain medication. (I don't have an answer for her not refusing it. I assume trying to be congenial in her new surroundings?) When I visited her during this time, it did scare me seeing her so out of it, and not knowing who I was while under morphine. The nurse did explain she was in pain with arthritis (stormy weather does make her arthritis excruciating) and they were trying to help her with that. As a result, I asked to be notified re change- any change to Mom's medications. It's still surreal to me that they would just give her morphine like that, and the stress of that situation is why she told the nurse recently I might get angry if she asked for pain RX. I respect the nurses acting on this. So with all the troops on this conference call, I'm expecting Armageddon. The State 'O' and Attorney advised I stood in no position to impose such a request on the nurses to contact me. That such a request was cumbersome, and my Mom was capable of refusing medications, and did not need my input. The Ombudsman added that "regardless of what I thought necessary, the facility has their own pain protocol." Whatever that means, I assume they are free reigned to administer RX regardless? I asked my Mother, also present in meeting by speakerphone, if I had ever told her not to request pain meds if she was needing it? She said "No, never." So it was apparent that there was a misunderstanding, and the nurses needed to have me put in my place re POA. I tried to explain again what the reasoning behind my mistrust with medications, occurring the first weeks following admission. The Ombudsman's Office said I might want to contact their office for counseling and join a support group as I have put myself in a difficult position. I don't know why I made time for this meeting, but it felt psychotic. Does a care plan need to have an army? Because I haven't had one yet and hope I won't.