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Has anyone had to go through friends trying to help out, either through talking or physically help, only to hear them talk about their own prior situation and create more work for caregivers like myself?
I'm currently the sole caregiver to my husband who suffers from dementia and physical limitations and requires 24/7 care. When friends talk to me, they always revert back to themselves and talk about how they can "sort of" identify with what I'm going through and the conversation is all about them. Not that I don't care, but I'm going through something that requires all of my time and energy and the last thing I want to do is tell somebody else I'm sorry for what they went through even though it's not nearly the same scenario that I'm going through with my husband. How do I digress and redirect the conversation without making them feel bad? I don't want to lose any friends or feel any resentment. It's not my intention at all, but I do have a hard time accepting that people want to help when all they do is talk about themselves.

Margaret,
Talkspace.com
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SP, I wonder if you can see the paradox in many of the replies you have received. Posters are happy to say that their ‘ex-friends’ are self-centred, and to chime in with a ‘golden rule’ that you should restrict yourself to encounters that are ‘energizing and uplifting to you, not simply sucking all the life out of you’. They don’t usually apply the same rules to themselves. Perhaps if you are a carer, you think you can’t be self-centred. However it sounds as though what they want is interest in themselves and their problems in a conversation that is probably going to ‘suck the life out’ of the person they are talking to. That’s pretty much what they are complaining about. Finding new friends as you get older isn’t easy, and if you take the advice to get rid of old friends because they aren’t doing what you want, you can end up in a lonely old age.

I’ve certainly found that people want to hear that you are coping OK, even though that’s not how you feel (eg ‘I hope you’re getting back on your feet now’, six months after our house and farm infrastructure burned down in a wildfire). The truth doesn’t work well. It’s hard work for counselors to hear people’s problems all the time, and they get paid for it. Some angels volunteer to do it – like the suicide counselors who run a night shift for the small hours crises. Momsonlychild in a reply to my earlier post asked for examples of telephone counselor services, which I can’t help with for the USA – CAN ANYONE ELSE GIVE SOME CONTACTS?

I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut about big problems. It’s hard when they dominate your life (the elephant in the kitchen syndrome), but I’ve found that talking about them often makes me feel worse anyway. ‘Put on a happy face’ was the advice for the Depression. It’s hard to do, but it’s still good advice.
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I am sorry to tell you this but we are living in times where a lot of people think of themselves.

Don't lose focus. Let them say "whatever."

Just keep doing what you are doing. Don't worry.
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In our journey with MS and young onset dementia, my wife and I have experienced that we no longer “fit in” with even friendships that were decades long. After 10 years I’ve come to accept it. If someone is making you feel worse than better, that’s a contact you need less of. Like weeding a dwindling garden. Water and care for the flowers that are left.
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NobodyGetsIt Sep 29, 2020
Dear "Gumbyschild,"

That is sad but, true. The "fitting in" will always be a problem when our life circumstance(s) take a dramatic change especially if it changes our time schedules which obviously it does and would when it comes to health challenges.

I find it sad because it reminds me of when we're children or teenagers and we're wanting to be part of the "in crowd." To me it really brings out the superficiality of those relationships - as long as you're fun and can bring something to the table, it's great but there doesn't seem to be tolerance or adjustments made for anything less than that.

I'm sorry you and your wife have experienced this when you need meaningful relationships the most. But, I applaud you for recognizing the need to accept it and move past it - tending to the "garden" you have at hand. Sometimes you may find that "garden" is even better!

Beautifully, said - I wish you and your wife the best!
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Very annoying. What multiplies the annoyance is that when people take up your time and energy, and you duly feel annoyed about it, you then also feel that you shouldn't be ungrateful because they're "only trying to help." Arrggghhh!!!

Think of things you *would* like them to do, or *would* like them to talk about. If you say to them, frankly but cheerfully, "to be honest I could do with a complete change of subject. Read any good books lately?" (or whatever you all used to talk about back in the olden pre-caregiving days) they really shouldn't be offended. It can't be wrong for you to want a break.

Of course it may be that sometimes they do have issues they need to work out by talking them through. You can still be prepared to listen, if at that moment you do have time; but don't hesitate to say to them - frankly, again - that you sympathise with their feelings but your situations are in no way comparable.

And in the last resort, don't forget that there are some people who call themselves friends who... aren't. I shouldn't worry about losing those.
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Steer conversations with them away from talking about anything to do with them helping. Unless you can give them a specific task they can do regularly that would assist you just tell them things are under control and move on to talk about something friends talk about. Good luck.
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I am one that often relates prior experiences to my friends. It’s how my brain has always worked. I often think oh this reminds me of the time and will relate my experience, if they let me, in hopes it will be helpful to them. I’m not saying it’s the right or best way of doing things, but I do want you to know that I really care about my friends and what they are going through. I also take time to listen and ask how they are doing and what I can help with. So far, they haven’t told me they mind. However, I am aware of my imperfection and I am working on it (except for relating this experience) 😁 however, if one of my friends did say you know relating your experience is not helpful and I need you to listen. It would not offend me at all. I would apologize.
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Momsonlychild Sep 29, 2020
I agree with you. I think it’s our nature to relate a similar experience and sharing it in hopes it may help a friend. I’m sure like me you certainly aren’t trying to diminish their circumstance. I, too guess I need to work on this. Be blessed.
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Any valuable relationship is give and take. Whenever I have found someone who feels the world revolves around them, I run as fast as I can.

Treat others as you would like to be treated. If it becomes clear they aren’t reciprocating your kindness, simply leave.

You don’t owe them an explanation if you don’t want to talk about it.
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I don't care what anyone says or thinks (we all have our own opinions) but my friends have turned out to be just like yours. "Poof" and they're gone before anything can be said about ME or my mother. Of course, they never ask how YOU are or how your LO is doing. If you make the mistake of talking about it, expect to be ignored by these people. When making friends (or keeping them) I think the golden rule is to ask yourself whether or not an encounter with that person was energizing and uplifting to you or simply sucking all the life out of you. In other words, did the encounter make you feel better? As for me I am sick to death of these people who I thought were my friends of 20 years, but now have completely blown off that part of my life, obviously avoiding my emails, msgs, and calls. They don't want to hear anything about it (and I have been extremely slim on details because I didn't want to overstep my bounds and be a conversation pig). I've thought about if for a long while and I'm simply going to make new friends and let the old ones fade away. I'm not going to contact them and if they try to contact me I'm not going to respond in any way, just not at all. I think "friends" like this create a total betrayal of trust because you have made yourself (as we all do) vulnerable by stating your inner-most feelings...and having them stomped on. Personally, I cannot fathom being someone's friend but blowing them off when they have a problem and need my support. It's wrong. It hurts. And it does suck the energy out of me. They don't know it yet, but my little group of "friends" is already dead and I will do absolutely nothing to continue the relationships. If, for some reason I run across one of them by accident or whatever, I will tell them quietly and calmly to their face that "I don't want to be friends with you anymore" and just walk away. Period. A cold statement for sure, but if they can dish it out then so can I. Furthermore, I'm not going to defend my position or give long explanations to any of these people. They are in the wrong and it's not my responsibility to teach them how to behave as a friend and at least offer moral support. Get new friends using the "do they energize me?" method. I don't like your friends.
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Momsonlychild Sep 29, 2020
I’ve experienced this same thing but mainly with our church. We’ve been through a lot lately and only 2 women reached out to us. No phone calls, notes of encouragement, nothing! My friends live away but at least I hear from them. Being a 24/7 caregiver is beyond stressful & exhausting, we need all the love and support we can get. So very thankful for this group. Be blessed!
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Some friends may make good councellors, not all. The danger is overloading them & the friendship loses something.

Is just being friends & finding a professional listener an option?

My DH told me he could no longer listen to my family issues. Hard but honest. So I found a professional. Proper time to offload. No 'fix it' attitude being flung back at me. Better relationship with DH. Win win win.
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 28, 2020
Great perspective, Beatty!

My neighbor hates her job. Every night she goes home and complains to her husband about it. She tells me too but I don’t have to listen to it daily so it doesn’t bother me. I show empathy to her. She told me that she didn’t understand why her husband wasn’t compassionate about it. I stayed neutral on that topic.

One day while outside, I was chatting with my neighbor and he told me that he wished his wife would look for another job because he was so sick of hearing about it. If a spouse constantly talks about something the other spouse will tire of it. Again, I just listened and reminded neutral.

Haha, not going to place myself in the middle of it.

You are wise and loving to understand how your husband meant it. Good for you!
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You simply say hubby is needing me, I'll have to get off the phone for now. You have to keep in mind, that just like this site, we have suggestions based on how we handled something that came up. Perhaps in sharing, your friends are doing the same. Some mean well by telling you similar experience. But, when you can't handle the conversation, move on and get off the phone.
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I have been on both sides of this topic. So many people don’t know what to say so they share their own stories for lack of anything else. I have a friend who went through breast cancer. Many people who had been friends for decades disappeared from her life until she recovered. Then they reappeared and acted like nothing had happened.

How about just telling them "This is distressing to me, can we talk about something else?" Or be prepared with several topics you can divert them onto. They just might be grateful for the change of direction.
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This is a difficult subject. You need to vent and talk about your troubles. You don’t want to hear about someone else’s troubles. It doesn’t help you, and doesn’t give you what you want. Perhaps exactly the same is true for your friends. For them, hearing about your troubles is not doing them any favors, and you aren’t interested in hearing about their experiences. You think they aren’t being good friends, and they almost certainly think ‘Everytime I talk to her I end up feeling worse’.

You’ve had two good suggestions here.

The first is to find a service with volunteers whose real task is to hear people’s troubles. The Alzheimers Association was suggested, or perhaps Lifeline. You may be able to find others that would give you what you want and need.

The second is to set some rules for your phone conversations – perhaps think it through and send an email with the rules. You don’t want to talk about your husband and your difficulties. You want them to tell you something interesting that they have been doing. Perhaps you could tell them jokes you’ve heard – the Jokes site here has over a thousand old postings, and starting from the beginning should give you something to say for a long long time.

Don’t keep on doing something that isn’t working, and try not to write off all your old friends. It’s even possible that you might find yourself in their position in the future. You might understand only too well what they are going through, but you may not want to be reminded about it.
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Momsonlychild Sep 29, 2020
Great advice. I’m in need of someone to talk to. You mentioned 2 places. Can you tell me more about them? Thank you.
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Good relationships have good give and take in communications. Help your friends to remember to "take" by letting them know how you feel or what kinds of help you really need. Sometimes, folks are clueless or just trying to find ways to connect. If it seems awkward, it's because they are reaching out but not sure how to help meet your needs. Help them by cluing them in to what you need: chit chat about every day stuff, somebody to give you a hug (air hugs count), somebody to spell you for an hour or 2 from caregiving... You'll need to be bold and direct. When you feel heard as well as hearing them, you should see the resentment fade.
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This is one of the most interesting questions posed I've ever read -
Yes. I believe people that turn the conversation to themselves OR their own experience do so for these reasons:

(1) They are totally unaware;

(2) They cannot project / experience an other's feelings (which is what awareness and self-development is);

(3) They don't know what to say and belief they are 'helping' - even though they aren't;

(4) Many people are totally self-absorbed and totally unaware of it.

How to deal with these communications:

(1) Stop them immediately.

(2) Don't apologize. This is not about them. It is about YOUR needs.

(3) Be clear on what you need / want from them - spell it out (if you want to put the energy into communicating with them). They might learn something and appreciate how you guide them. If they don't appreciate and/or learn from it, you don't need them in your life right now.

(4) Give them a book on Non-Violent Communication aka Compassion Communication. All the steps are in there.

(5) Tell them what you need now is REFLECTIVE LISTENING. If they don't know what that is, ask them to research it on the internet.

(6) Choose new friends who have more self-awareness.

(7) If you do not want to discuss directly face-to-face, write them an email or call when you feel you can. Keep conversation short, i.e., "This is what I need from you, a friend, right now and list in bullet points xxx. It might be necessary to say "Please, just listen. That is what I need right now. I do not need to hear about you and your experiences. Just listen. And thank you. If they don't hang up, tell them what you need now. Good luck.

I'd share a couple of my own similar experiences, but then I'd be doing exactly what your friends are doing. Gena.
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"SP2020," - Sorry, posted this under the wrong section!

Yes, that helps me understand your situation better. That being said, you will never "win" with narcissists (if they actually have NPD).

They aren't caregivers and when you tell them exactly what you need/want from them, they don't seem to be really interested in understanding those needs. There comes a time when we need to quit explaining - it's the saying "doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result" type of thing. It never seems to work out that way. It's not the advice you received from all those people about you reaching out that's the problem - it's who you are reaching out to that's the problem. Those particular friends don't seem to be able to give you what you need.

When we are tired, we can't see the forest through the trees. Grieving is natural if you end up leaving a friendship even if it's for your own sake and mental well being. It sounds like you really need to have time to yourself to sort through things. It's hard to do that if you have all those external distractions going on.

You said this time that you're not even sure if you feel lonely and are actually content with not having anyone around. If you're fine with hiring a caregiver when you need a break, I would continue to do just that. When I left my long time friendship, it was a huge relief and I have no regrets. It doesn't mean that I still didn't hurt or grieve because 26 years is a long time to have a friend in your life.

You can't control if you say something to them whether or not they will think you are being passive-aggressive - that's up to them to choose to feel that way. This is you and your husband's life. You are married to him, not them. You could just tell them, this is a new chapter in your life being a caregiver to your husband and you need this time to devote solely to him and leave it at that. We get into trouble when we feel like we have to explain additional "whys" when making a factual statement. You don't owe them anymore than that as long as what you tell them is how you truly feel.

I hope that helps -
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A different sort of answer for you.

I am someone who has undiagnosed learning challenges. I know I have challenges, but I do not know the root cause. Over the years I have developed strategies that have allowed me to excel in school and life.

I can only retain information if I can relate it to something I already know. I do this my repeating what I heard and saying aloud how it relates to prior knowledge. It is not a sign of disrespect on my part, it is the only way I can retain information.

I often do this when answering questions in these forums. I relate what has been asked to my own experience, or things I have witnessed in my family or professional life.

Now, if I had come over to your house to stay a few days and help out, I would need a list of things you need to have done. Even if to others it would be obvious what was needed, I work from lists.

In the past, again am relating to my own experience, I have learned not to load other people’s dishwashers, but it is ok to empty them if I know exactly where things go. Now if I see a counter covered in dishes and can fill and put the machine through I will. Why am I mentioning this, which seems silly and unimportant? I was verbally attacked for putting dishes in someone else’s dishwasher “the wrong way!”

If you provide a list of things that need doing, have it clearly posted, I can work through it, and will. Post the grocery list and I will get the shopping. Tell me what you usually have for meals and I will prep it. But without any guidance I would be lost. I would worry that I will do the wrong thing and even though I see that you are stressed and tired, I will have a very hard time asking you what you need me to do.
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NobodyGetsIt Sep 28, 2020
Dear "Tothill," - Thank you for adding a different perspective - it's a reminder to how we all respond and process things differently!
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It has occurred to me in the past that the 12-step programs foster a way of communicating in their group rules: No cross talking allowed, only allowed to share about yourself, your own issues, and not give advice, not allowed to answer to the person speaking. Did I get that right?

So these people talk about themselves. I blame the 12-Step meetings, even though it has helped so many people.

Of course, that is not the only reason people are so egocentric and self-absorbed.
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 28, 2020
Send,

Twelve Step programs are great. I tried endlessly to get my brother that died to attend regularly. He went years before but stopped. In some of them, families can join in. Others are closed meetings to outsiders. I went to support my brother.

They have to adhere to those rules so people can’t all speak at the same time. They want them to focus on themselves, for a specific reason, to hold oneself accountable for their actions even if circumstances led them into their addiction.

12 steps really do work if they follow the program. There are many success stories.
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Reading your answers, I get the impression that your friends don’t bring much comfort to you.

You mentioned distancing yourself from them. Maybe that is what you need. If they are upsetting you, don’t torture yourself by being around them.

Maybe look for some new friends. Have you ever done an ‘in person’ support group? I did that for awhile. It was led by a social worker and she was great! We hit it off and we even met for coffee every week outside of the group because we found that we had a lot in common with each other.

The other people in the group had various situations. We got along. It was an interesting group.

I know things are all together different now due to COVID but in the future perhaps you can make an effort to meet people that you feel like you connect with better.

Something else to think about is, are these people ‘real’ friends or only acquaintances? There is a difference. It doesn’t matter how long you have actually known them. They may not be genuine friends.

Wishing you all the best in your situation. Caregiving is never easy for anyone.
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One thing I found when caring for my mom was to use friends for chatting about things not related to mom.... That was my respite...my link to the outside...it kept me from going stir crazy. When I was really frustrated with my situation, I called the Alzheimer's Associations hot line. They were so good at listening and I could usually get the frustration out and often gain a pointer or two. I also posted on this chat room for help from others in similar situations.

Your friends are trying to relate, that is why they are grasping for events in their lives that are similar. They can't.... So keep that separate and enjoy not discussing your husband for a bit and get the scoop on other things going on ;-)
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 27, 2020
I felt the same as a caregiver. I wanted a break from talking about my mom. That doesn’t mean that we don’t care about the person we are caring for. We all need a break sometimes. We want them to ask about us sometimes or as you said, something totally unrelated.
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They can’t know exactly what it’s like for you because we all have our own individual circumstances in life.

In their own way they may be trying to show you that they do have empathy for your situation and are hoping that you empathize with them as well in their lives, even if the circumstances are different.

It gets complicated at times. When I was primary caregiver to my mom, the first thing my friends would say to me is, “How’s your mom?”

I certainly understood them inquiring about her. It was nice of them to do so. But I started to feel invisible. Once in awhile I wanted them to ask how I was doing?

Well, one day I ran into an old friend and I was telling her about how I felt. She had been a caregiver to her mom and I asked her if she ever felt as I did.

My friend smiled and said, “I did feel that way. I needed someone to ask me how I was holding up but my friends never did, but every time my mom’s hospice nurse would come to our home, the first thing she asked was, how was I doing and I always felt better after seeing her.”

My friend’s answer really helped me. We can’t force others to see something but there are people who do know how you feel.

Many on this forum will know. You may run into someone at some point and they will completely understand how you feel. I hope that you do. We all seek validation and want to be heard.

Best wishes to you.
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I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much. You’re in a unique situation and few will truly understand it. Someone told me once that we’re friends with people for what we do like about them and not what we don’t. It’s true, we have to let go of a lot to keep the good. I have a brain injured adult son. He’s beyond complex to live with. My husband and I learned a long time ago that pretty much no one wants to know a lot about him and we’ve had to get okay with that. Still stings sometimes but we understand. I hope your friends will learn and continue to be a part of your life, even a flawed part
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NobodyGetsIt Sep 27, 2020
Dear "Daughterof1930,"

You're very gracious but, it still must be painful that they don't want to know your son because he is a part of you and your husband as well as your lives - a huge part in fact.
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Your friends can't "sort of identify" with what you're going thru. Nor can we as past and present caregivers know what you're going thru. You know the saying, "If you've seen one person with Alzheimer's, you've seen one person with Alzheimer's". The same applies to caregivers. If you know the experience of one caregiver, you know the experience of one caregiver. We all have different experiences. None of your friends have a clue.

Your friends don't know what to say, but I think they're actually trying to give you some solice. I think they're doing it in a spirit of friendship so you may have to put up with it. If your uncomfortable with it, tell them politely.
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I'm new to caregiving myself...........after my mom was at a SNF and then Assisted Living with an Enhanced License...........95 yo, incontinent, bedridden, vascular dementia...............I find some "friends" of hers have spoken of themselves losing their husband, and then sort of left the scene, when I said what is going on with my mom..............."friends" like that I don't need...............as I felt my mom was nearing the end, I took her out of assisted living, which she didn't like anyway...........said was of ignored by staff...........when I took her home I got some really abnormal lab values, ordered by a "doctor" at assisted living................the lab report said they tried to reach him three times about a "panic level" abnormal lab............he never called them back was on the written report and no one ever contacted me.................why even do these tests if you're not going to follow up..............I've found dealing with the SNF very frustrating during the pandemic and isolating...........didn't agree with their unrealistic plan of PT..................then onto assisted living, where I think she had to wait long times for things.........and it just wasn't appropriate for her...............when saw the abnormal labs, was hospitalized and I now have her at home on hospice.................it's very labor intensive when you need this much care, some prior "friends" fall away when they hear of the situation...............fine.........shows how much they cared about a friend, or were too scared/shaken up to hear more..............talked a lot about their prior situations...............it's really an ordeal caring for an ill loved one, but it's even more agonizing to know that they're at a SNF or AL facility, where you're not allowed in during the pandemic, and find that a lot of the staff is very hard to work with and very unaccommodating when you need papers filled out............always an excuse.............never gets done..........I might even have to call a lawyer to try to get some needed information.........or long term insurance can't evaluate the claim....................how pathetic and sad; I understand your resentment about resentment from people you thought were friends, 24/7 is not easy.............my mom is on hospice, but I'll probably need extra help...............being the sole caregiver of your husband who you said has dementia and physical limitations, and needs care 24/7 is difficult to say the least, and you'd think that true friends would listen to what you're explaining to them........sorry if I wrote too much about my own situation, but actually going through this helps me to relate what others are saying and what they're going through.........I hope you understand..........my best wishes to you and your husband
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SP2020 Sep 27, 2020
I"m sorry you had to go through all that. It must be frustrating as I can understand myself. Navigating through all that is not an easy task and it's very draining, to say the least.
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I think it's a tough subject for friends to discuss because they don't understand dementia or what you're going through as a full time care giver to a husband with issues that require 24/7 care. How can they possibly identify with what you're going through? They feel uncomfortable with the whole subject........ so.......they will naturally revert back to a subject THEY are comfortable with: themselves. Understand that they probably DO want to help you, they just don't know how and feel awkward about the whole situation in general.

The best way to handle this matter is with a direct and up front approach. Tell your friend you would like to speak to her about your situation, in an honest manner. Then tell her what it's like, because she doesn't know. Then proceed to ask for whatever help you'd like from her, if that's what she's offering. But you'll have to cite specific needs you have rather than being vague, because again, you're treading into 'awkward silence' territory. With any luck at all, and after a couple of these conversations, you'll feel more at ease with your friends and they with you.

Wishing you the best of luck!
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I think they are trying to help by letting you know that "we all have problems" and it sounds as though they do. Or they are trying to tell you "you aren't alone". It is kind of like people not knowing what to say when you say "I have cancer". It comes down to "thoughts and prayers" or their own stories. It sounds more to me as though you ae just experiencing despair and exhaustion, than that they haven't the right approach. They just are missing that you really just need, in all this hardship, to have someone HEAR you for a few moments. There really are no good things for them to say or do to help. I mean, to my mind, bring me a pizza or a lasagna! People are trying. They don't know what to say. Sometimes it is easier to resent and be angry than just to feel the downright exhausting frustration of a day when we feel hopeless.
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SP2020 Sep 27, 2020
I have told them what I need to hear and, actually, what I need help with. Most of the time, it falls on deaf ears, as I'm gathering. It's almost like they don't 'hear' it because they understand that it's a difficult situation, which on the surface is just that to them. I'm not sure they understand the emotional attachment and hardship that comes with taking care of a spouse.
I'm venting at this point, because I've had to explain myself more than a couple of times and there comes a point when they don't make any effort to understand further, it's disappointing and I start to feel resentment.
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Dear "SP2020,"

I think you may be new to the forum so welcome!

I understand what you are experiencing. I think it stems from our culture having become more and more a "me, me, me" type of thing. I also, think when your friends say they can "sort of" identify with what you're going through, they use that as their segue to revert the conversation back to them. It may also be similar to what happens when you lose a loved one - people don't know how to talk to a person who is grieving and I think there are many people who don't know how to talk to someone who is a caregiver. Also, unfortunately they simply don't want to hear it. It's very hard not to feel resentment especially when you do give of yourself to their situations/problems. One upmanship is also a possibility i.e. you do x,y,z and they come back with oh yes, I do w,x,y,z - that may or may not apply to your situations since I don't know the specifics within those friendships.

Anytime someone is understanding, compassionate and caring, you run the risk of being "used" in a sense to get that type of response. And I have been there - I let go of a friend of 26 years in June. I gave and gave and then gave some more and I was done after my mom nearly died from severe dehydration and COVID at the age of 95. When I texted her what happened to my mom, I didn't hear back from her in over a week and all she said was "how's your mom?" I have listened to her situations - three of them which were long term over the course of the friendship. I felt I should have heard more than that.

It is a very dicey situation to find yourself in especially when you don't want to lose any of your friends or feel the resentment. Maybe the first step for you to take is to reevaluate each friendship which is what I did.

Before letting that friendship I had go, I did ask her if there was something bothering her and if so, to tell me (I was sensing some distance from her) and she flipped what should have been an answer back to me with a question. That was one of the things that told me to move on.

I wish I had a better answer for you but, it's mainly because I don't want to say anything that would jeopardize your friendships.

I wish you the best as you continue with your journey of being a 24/7 caregiver!
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SP2020 Sep 27, 2020
I think you hit it right on the nail. I've actually explained myself more than once, and being a caregiver, it can get tiring having to explain a situation, on the surface, it is difficult, yes. I'm basically venting at this point as I've given each friendship an evaluation and have distant myself from some of them.
You can give me an answer. I'm all ears.
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