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Hi,
What am I supposed to do now? My Dad will be 97 next month and he is quickly declining I feel. He is still of sound mind and he takes no medication. He has led a very healthy life. However, all of a sudden there is something wrong with his stomach and he won't eat. He says it makes him sick and he pukes what he does eat up. Very little does he eat AND drink.
He was very dehydrated last night and I called 911 because he is so frail I can't physically take him to the ER. The ER sent him home and told him they really don't know what is wrong with him but yet they gave him three medications.

I'm not putting him in a home, and I know that's easier said than done, however, I can't do that. My Mother was in a nursing home.

I told him I don't know what to do and he said he did not know either. I think he just wants to be in his bed more than anything else obviousy. He is also just plain TIRED. Am I just supposed to watch him deteriorate? Is there any help at all? I am just looking for suggestions.

Thanks so much for reading.

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I think medicare will cover hospice with doctor order.call fsmily dr and they should refer him to hospice. I know this is horrible for you, but if am retired nurse snd was always told that the pt knows when to decline food,etc because their digestive system can't handle it and more uncomfortable for them to eat. My brother passed last yr at age 63. He just wanted morphine drip no I've fluids etc . It is not starving them, it is comforting them. God bless. Anita
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Contact the Area Agency on Aging in your county or city. They will have many answers and services for you. Your father may qualify for help based on his income.
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Thank you for looking out for me. Do you have any idea how much hospice costs? He is a retired veteran and I looked this up and they don't pay anything for hospice. Funds are low to say the least. He got mad at me today because I overruled him by calling his pcp and getting him in earlier. I'm so afraid of him being mad and something happening. Do you know what I mean? However, do you just call the hospice in your town? I'm sorry, I have never been through this before.

Thanks again.

J
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They may have changed it so more people would respond. I remember it was something along the lines of What do I do now. I suggest you call in hospice to help you through this process. They will come to your home and evaluate your father. Letting go is a hard process and since you also have a teen to raise, that makes your stress level higher. What do you tell your son, etc. Hospice will provide you much info and support and help with the process. Blessings to you!!
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I just want to thank everyone again. This is a wonderful forum. I tried so hard today with him. He does not want to go anywhere at all. If he was younger, remember he is 96, 97 in March, I would do more. But I know him so well, and I'm not going to push anything on him that he does not want to do. I truly think it makes it harder on him. He is just SO SO TIRED! I pray he does not suffer.

I can't think of anything else. This is awful. It's consuming my every breath. I have a child to raise. Well he's 16 but still.

I do have a question though. I don't mind at all, but why did my title to this thread get changed or am I losing my mind? I thought it was what do I do now. I'm just curious, that's all.
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Jimineze, if your father is too weak to go to the doctor's office please call 911 NOW so he can be transported to a hospital. Others will know more about this than me, but I think a person can survive quite a while without food but not without fluids. Let the emergency system do its job and help you now.
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THank you everyone for your support and replies. I called his pcp today and told them it was urgent and he said he would go. He just now told me he does not have the strength to make it. He is still not eating anything at all and not drinking. I have no idea what to do or where to turn. I can't even believe I'm asking this but how long does it take for a body to shut down after not eating and drinking? Will it be painful? Will he suffer?
For those that believe, please say a prayer.

Thanks again so much.
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I agree take him to another hospital or tell his DR it's urgent! Usually hospitals love to set up all kinds of tests...
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That does sound bad, I don't think it would be crazy to take him back to the ER. Preferably to a different hospital if you've got the option. Monday is four whole days away and this sounds pretty severe maybe requiring more urgent treatment than his pcp could give him in an office visit anyway.
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Hi and thanks for replying. They hydrated him in the er room. The er doc told him he really does not know what is wrong and they did send him home. I know it makes no sense and I'm feeling very overwhelmed to say the least. He does have an app on Monday to see his pcp. I'm just afraid in the meantime what will happen if he continues to go without fluid and solids.

Thank you again.
I'm afraid by then he won't be able to make it. He puked milk up. that's all he has had in 48 hours.
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Take him to his PCP ASAP. Or a Geriatric specialist. Have tests run to determine what is causing his stomach upset. If he is dehydrated...why would the hospital not admit him? It could be the start of decline but a diagnosis needs to be presented. Why did they just send him home...were tests run on him or did they just write out RX and send you on your way? It does not make sense. More info is needed.
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