I'm 52 with stage 4 cancer taking care of abusive Father and Mother who just thinks i am their personal slave. Advice?

Sorry - my post was edited by an admin after I posted about the CURE magazine and the link was deleted. This is an organization that provides free quarterly magazines to people living with the cancer experience and/or their caregivers.

I agree with everyone else and am only posting so that you know lots and lots of us have the same opinion. Your first responsibility is to yourself and your children. Focus just there and you know you should get to a more stable and healthy living arrangement for you and the children. No guilt. Just focus. I am praying for you and trying to send good vibes your way.

I agree with the others but just want to give you a (((((hug)))).

GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE NOW!!!!!

Burnout, please contact your oncologist, infusion center social worker or hospital support group and ask about other living possibilities....NOW.

As I wrote earlier, research to see if there's a Gilda's Club near you; the camaraderie of other people in treatment will be very supportive for you.

Also check out the CURE magazine website. It's an excellent source of information on cancer, treatment, recovery, adaptation, etc.

curetoday website
Your oncologist or hospital social worker may also be able to identify home assistance for you once you find another place to live. My sister's oncologist suggested that, but my sister told her I would do the work!

JessieBelle they found a tumor in my right lung the size of a softball and two smaller ones and it spread to my lymph nods on both sides of my neck.My neck was swollen like i had the mumps they cut some out of the lymph right below my ear was on it's way to the brain.

I also see no other way than for you to get yourself and your children away from your toxic parents. If you don't leave ASAP your children will suffer and you will jeopardize your own health and all for what? For two abusive old people whose lives are pretty much in the rear view mirror? Honor thy mother and thy father does NOT mean caregiving for abusive parents. It means accepting them for who they are. You owe your parents nothing beyond accepting them as abusers and moving on with your life. Remember that this life isn't a dress rehearsal. I wish you lots of luck and I hope your health improves. - NYDIL

Your parents will be in a nursing home anyway if you end up in hospital or worse, you need all your strength to battle your disease. As others have said, do it for your kids. (((hugs)))

Yes, you Must leave as soon as possible, and Right Now, begin researching any potential options for assistance for you and your children, and I would start with your Oncologists office, as many are connected to support networks, attached to the Hospital and their Social Workers office, and like others who have mentioned Ronald McDonald House, and the Gilda Radner Foundation. Or The United Cancer Society. As well. If you aren't working, utilize your local Social Services, too! After you secure some form of assistance, ,then notify your family, and if nessasary the Area of Aging, to have them evaluate your parents home and care situation, letting them know that you Must leave for your own Serious health concerns! Good luck, and let us know how you make out. I'll be praying for you!

Agree; you need to extricate yourself from this situation ASAP because the stress can and likely would aggravate your cancer.

I don't know if this would help, but you might try researching online to see if there's a Gilda's Club near you, then contact them and ask if they know of any temporary housing you could get while you're looking for something more permanent.

Over a dozen years ago, I became aware that Ronald McDonald facilities housed families with a member who was undergoing treatment for cancer. I believe they were located near major cancer treatment facilities, and housed the parents and children while the stricken family member got treatment.

I don't know if McDonalds still provides that service, but it might be worth a try.

Yes. If you have the means or can arrange the means by any legal way possible, pack up and leave. The sooner the better.

If you have a place to go and money to live, a good time to leave is now. It is time to look after yourself and your children. Is the cancer in remission now? Stage 4 is very serious for any type of cancer.

So sorry to read about your cancer, it can be very scary, and more recently the medical community is finding that stress can cause cancer.... I know, I had it and had no markers except for a stressful situation with my parents.

Time to pack up and move out with your children as that isn't a good environment for them. Once you find a new place, give your parents, your brother and sister notice that you are leaving because the stress is harming your health [don't say anything more]. And if your siblings try to get you to stay on just say "sorry, I just can't do that".

Move. Save your own life! Pack up the kids and go, but let the siblings know you are all done with this, you have a bigger battle on your hands. Surviving cancer means eliminating as much stress as possible. Do it for the kids.