MIL in AL facility. She is rather obstinate and refuses to eat in the dining room or shower. We have asked staff to call and let us know when she is refusing showers so we can intervene. Today she told me staff are telling her I insist she shower and if she won't they will call me. She is feeling shamed and is very upset. I have talked with the head nurse in the past and asked her to please have staff refrain from telling mom they will tell on her. This is not the first time.