Spouse w/ stage 4 COPD & congestive heart failure having frequent episodes of shortness of breath, edema & O2 level dropping. How to cope?
Husband was hospitalized 2x since December for this, and his symptoms are returning again already. I’m thinking this is the beginning of the end. If he has to go to the hospital & can’t come home, how will they keep him comfortable if he can’t breathe? Will he be sedated? Go into a coma?
I am worried about what will happen. The uncertainty is stressful. He seems to be in denial to some extent as to how serious this is, & I don’t know how to talk to him. (Our communication is often difficult to start with.)
He gets VA medical care, & his many doctors are not forthright about what is happening to him. I have come to my own conclusions after reading about his condition(s) and reading between the lines of what his doctors say. Also, since I work full time & he is now seeing doctors weekly, he is being transported by the VA & I am not accompanying him to many of his appointments.
My dad died last month. I travelled to be there with family during his final week. The day after I came back home, my husband went into the hospital for 5 days till they got him more or less stable. Tomorrow, if things don’t improve, he might go back in the hospital.
I am not dealing with this well. I don’t want to lose my husband so soon after losing my dad. But that seems to be what is happening. I just don’t know what to expect or how to handle it. I know my husband needs emotional support, but instead of being loving to him, I am irritable & annoyed by his neediness. I feel resentment against him for past offenses (we have gone through some serious problems) and for not taking care of himself, & at the same time I’m crippled by worry & grief. Does anyone have experience to share?
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Do you not have POA for your husband? Are you on the HIPPA forms at the VA. If yes, then the doctors can talk to you. They should give you the worse scenario. Tell them you need to be prepared.
I am assuming he is on oxygen and its just not working any longer. I would assume the low oxygen levels are effecting his thinking too. Do they have to drain his lungs? I really feel for you. Him too.
Your husband has two life limiting conditions that seem to be progressing. Treatments are less and less effective.
I understand that the timing sucks. I'm so sorry about the recent loss if your dad; having another loved one became so medically needy when you are freshly awash with grief is so unfair!!
Are you aware of the fact that if your husband is in the hospital as an admitted patient for 3 nights, he might then be eligible for rehab? You might look into that.
It definitely sounds as though he needs to go back into the hospital. You need to look them straight in the eye and ask if it's time for hospice, or for palliative care. Hospice will keep him comfortable. Small doses or morphine will ease his breathing and keep him from experiencing the drowning sensation that comes at the end with chf.
Please be well, kind to yourself and check in here. We care! (((((Hugs)))))))).