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Feel like I've completely lost myself after 20 years married to bipolar. I feel like I'm going to snap and I'm afraid I might hurt him. I need help.

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And if the Affordable Care Act doesn't work for you, check into Medicaid's medical care, depending on where you live (hopefully in a blue state). Good luck and keep us posted. I'm glad you're getting a break with him going to stay with his mom.
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Thank you for all of the responses, I have asked him to go stay with his mom for awhile so I can relax and focus on me. He leaves Tuesday. I am looking into the affordable health care so I can get counseling at the least.
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Thebipolarswife, if you live here in the States, and didn't sign up for the Affordable Care Act, you might want to reconsider. Go to the Affordable Care Act website, and check around, you might be able to find some good health insurance that works for your budget.

In the mean time, as ba8alou posted above, maybe your hubby needs his meds adjusted. Be safe.
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"His psychiatric care has always come first" As Dr. Phil would ask, how's that working out for YOU? Or him? Doesn't sound like whatever treatment he's getting is working. Call his doctor. Maybe HE needs hospitalization to adjust his meds, see what else might be wrong. He clearly needs a different level of care than what he's currently receiving.
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We may be able to help you more if you can fill in more of your background. for example does hubby work and the ages of your children
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There is a lot of help available and you need to get it now! Check NAMI.org for your local office. If he is a Vet there is a veteran's crisis support. So much information online that can be of great assistance. You do not have to do this alone. First things first is keeping those kids safe! Best of luck!
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I don't have healthcare. His psychiatric care has always come first. I feel like I need to check myself into a hospital but I don't want to leave my kids to deal with him. I feel trapped.
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Can't see your profile from my phone, are there other impairments? You need to call YOUR DOCTOR AND HIS DOCTOR. You need to be seen because you're snapping. His doctor needs to know because alternate care needs to be arranged. Are you on antidepressants? Are you getting respite?
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