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The diagnosis was months after she was calling all members of the family requesting help. She is not on medications that cause easy bruising. I am a nurse and I know that for a fact. I took pictures of the medications she is on. Allowing a person who has always been meticulous with their appearance look like a tramp is uncalled for. If a calendar is taken away from someone who does not have dementia and they are never allowed out of the house, never have company, never allowed to use a telephone they can become confused. The wheelchair IS defective. The wheels do NOT lock. One of the arms rests is defective enough to cause damage to anybody's arm. Wearing the t-shirt I gave to her, explain that. She asked for it. Wearing a favorite shirt of her's that I frequently completed her about and asking to wear it. Explain that. Talking to her nephew on the phone and dialing the cellphone yet being told by her husband she cannot do it. Explain that. She picked up my phone. I told her it was mine. She put it back down. I asked who did she want to call and she told me. She called two people. She carries around with her books I published and gave to her. I've pictures of her 3 1/2 months before this last visit. Wow what an amazing change. She had gone to her craft room and pulled out an oil painting she had done. I took a picture of her holding it and one of her with my husband. She crawled under her bed to get her cat out from under it so my step daughter could see it. She was walking fine until she was doped up with psych drugs. The only times she has been injured are when she is in her husband's care, never when the untrained person is watching her. Explain that. The care provider is NOT trained and does not know how to pick her up when she slips on the scatter rug in front of her toilet. Explain why the husband puts the scatter rugs back down when she is a fall risk. The APS person called and asked questions. She did NOT fully inspect the house or my sister. She told her husband what I had said which was supposed to be an anonymous caller. Anonymous it was NOT.
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continuation: and maybe after a social worker checks up on her and finds nothing wrong, you should mind your own business.
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I am going to be the devil's advocate here. Some of these things are not an issue. Not getting your hair done is not a big deal for a demented person. Wanting make up is different than actually applying make up...maybe she makes a royal mess out of the make up and no one wants to deal with it (nor is it a big deal). Pictures could have been removed due to glass in frames is dangerous around elderly demented people (a visiting nurse suggested that I put my mother's framed photos away due to the danger). What is the use of a calendar to a demented person? My mother's arms get bruised from me helping her up from chairs and getting her into the shower...some medications cause easy bruising. People with dementia are paranoid and make up stories about people hurting them and stealing from them. Falling or stumbling can cause injuries requiring stitches and a demented person can say that so-and-so pushed me down...my mother regularly says the doctor pushed her down and broke her teeth...no such thing has happened. Caring for an Alzheimer's patient is not an easy job and caregivers tend to put up defenses when you question their ability to care for their loved one...the only person who needs to know about her meds is her caregiver and her doctor; why do family members need to know? Meds given to Alzheimer's patients are often to calm anxiety and delusions...these meds make the person wooozy and a fall risk...they fall sometimes. If you are prepared to take this woman into your home to live with and care for, do that and mayb
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Thanks. I will take both posts into consideration. We will be paying a surprise visit tomorrow which will give me more details. For one if her hair has not been done and the wheelchair is still there. That will give me more fire.
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If the caseworker doesn't feel as though she can do a follow-up for whatever reason, it's time to go further up the food chain where the workers DO have the power to do something. I would ask the caseworker you've been speaking with for the name of her supervisor. It's obvious by your description that this poor woman is in a horrible situation. You state the facts quite succintly in your post and with persistence, I believe you will get the attention of an APS worker that has the power to do something.
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I still think the the agency in your help that takes care of the elderly needs to have an anonymous letter from someone describes the current conditions. Tell them that if nothing is done, the head of the state agency that governs them will be notified. Our country is now realizing that people are not always being taken care of after reports are made. Be honest but courteous in your letter but let them know that if you must write anonymously, the situation is dangerous. Best wishes.
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My brother in law has called me twice. My brother is afraid of what my brother in law might do if this is pursued. I did call the alliance near me and did what I was told to do. She said my brother in law needs help either with correcting things are relief from stress if he is ignorant of what is happening which I doubt. I have already told him my concerns as a nurse. The person at APS told me I have no control over things and she did not have a right to give me a follow-up. However the person at the alliance here said I was due a follow-up. The worker told me the case will be closed after the phone call to me. My brother is afraid our brother in law might pursue an invasion of privacy against us. He has always kept a distance from our family since day one. One of my doctors said to keep bathing our sister in prayer. I wrote a prayer for her. We say it every night at 8 give or take a few minutes. We have friends and some family doing this with us. I feel like my hands are tied other wise. I plan to attend a monthly meeting locally if I can. We will be paying a surprise visit this week. Thanks.
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This situation is horrifying. Please keep after Social Services to do a welfare check. You may want to call the Alzheimer's organization near you and see if a social worker can help you with this. They may have some clout with social services. Good luck and thank you for caring so much,
Carol
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