What are your thoughts on a spouse dating while wife is in 2nd year of living in a memory care facility?

There is a gentleman in our support group whose wife is in final stages of Alzheimer’s and she still lives at home. He says the one thing he misses the most is the companionship, having conversation about the everyday things that happen. When he said that it just brought tears to my eyes, because I think we might all take that for granted.

Having a spouse who is in a memory care facility would be so daunting....I wouldn't begin to be able to appreciate the magnitude of that on someone, so, I'd likely not judge. I would imagine they are trying to cope the best way they can and I wouldn't fault them for that.

Yes, I realize that vows have been madebut life is short. The LO is now in their own little world and have forgotten LOs in this world. Visiting gets hard because they have forgotten who we are. The person they were is not "there" anymore. If a marriage has been good, the spouse left behind is lonely. Having lunch with same sex friends just doesn't cut it. There is just something we need from the other sex that our same sex friends can't give. And I don't mean sex.

I think having a "friend" of the opposite sex would be OK. Someone to have dinner with, go to a movie or just come over to hang out. From the beginning this other person needs to know there is a spouse in the picture. That your main responsibility is to this spouse. I would keep the relationship lowkeyed and discreet as possible.

My daughter works in nursing homes. Its not unusual for Dementia patients to think another resident is their spouse. To the point that they are very protective of each other. Even wanting to live in the same room. Its so sad for the spouses of these residents. I know its life but its really not fair to the healthy spouse. So, I feel having a "friend" of the opposite sex is OK. Would I do it? You don't know till it happens to u.

Yes. MYOB. This is between him and his Maker.