An alternative to your own apartment near your husband might be renting a room from someone who does that. I know of people who rent rooms for extra income; it's often a bedroom with kitchen privileges. It's important to make sure of who you live with - you certainly wouldn't want to get involved renting from a bad person - but the people I know that have done it are usually women who find themselves with more house than money after being widowed. They welcome the companionship. Maybe you even know someone who would rent a room to you.
Dee, when your husband entered care, you could have seen an elder lawyer to have your assets split. His split going to his care and when almost gone, Medicaid applied for. At that time, you would have been able to stay in your apartment, received enough or all of the monthly income to live on and had a car. The Spouse is not to be made impoverished. Yes, see that elder lawyer.
Did you visit a lawyer before you made these arrangements?
If your husband is doing a spend down to become eligible for Medicaid, you, as the Community (non-institutionalized spouse) are entitled to enough income so that you don't become impoverished.
Can you ask one of your kids to help arrange a consultation with an Elder Law attorney in your state?
May I ask how advanced your husband's dementia is? Is he able still to know you, to recognize when you are not present visiting and when you are? If so, this is a very tragic situation really. Given his level of care needs it would be impossible really to place him, though you may wish to explore that once you are settled. Can you tell me how far away you are, how well you yourself are to travel?
This is really difficult to even think about. I am so very, very sorry. I, like Barb, wonder what sort of division of assets is done for you and hubby that leaves you unable to afford a very small efficiency apartment.
He is in advanced stage but he still knows who I am. He cannot walk now. Sleeps a lot. Does not eat regular. Refuses food. He was very aggressive til meds were adjusted. He was sent to only nursing home that would take him I was told. And it’s in a different town than where we originally lived. I feel guilty leaving him but it’s dragging me down. Afraid I will end up sick and no family near. I will contact an attorney.
Barb, I can't answer "for DeeDee", but Dee if you are still living In Austin, TX, you are amongst the many, many who are forced out of Central Texas, due to many factors. Tesla relocating in our area, Technology boom with folks coming from California with big dollars that that got when they sold their CA home, and are able to make "above asking price" for homes in Austin. The rental situation is one where rents have doubled, with the influx of people. There is a spillover into the surrounding communities, where those rental prices are skyrocketing also. Retired teachers, State workers, police and firefighters no longer live in Austin, but flee to smaller towns and face a long commute. Perhaps DeeDee's situation is different and I didn't want to answer for her, but I simply state what's happened to Central Texas.
I wish you luck in sorting it all out.
I wish you very best, time to take care of you.
Transitional times are so stressful due to uncertainty and adjusting to new circumstances.
Wishing you peace as you sort through all of this.
Did you visit a lawyer before you made these arrangements?
If your husband is doing a spend down to become eligible for Medicaid, you, as the Community (non-institutionalized spouse) are entitled to enough income so that you don't become impoverished.
Can you ask one of your kids to help arrange a consultation with an Elder Law attorney in your state?
Can you tell me how far away you are, how well you yourself are to travel?
This is really difficult to even think about. I am so very, very sorry. I, like Barb, wonder what sort of division of assets is done for you and hubby that leaves you unable to afford a very small efficiency apartment.