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Some days easier to sponge bathe my mom..she has dementia and difficult to stand..I stand behind her at sink ... Also how can I be sure I'm cleaning her private areas thoroughly.? She doesn't open her legs for me so I try to do the best I can, but some days she still kind of stinks....

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I've got this situation to look forward to so I haven't yet had to try it, but what about baby wipes? Thinking they might be easier to get into corners (if I can put it like that) than flannels or a sponge; and shouldn't damage her skin. Hope you'll get answers from people who actually know!
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Sitz bath, warm water, baby shampoo. Easy to do, and very thorough. :)
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I agree with BoniChak or sit on toilet and spray with warm water and the baby shampoo in a spray bottle. could you get her to put on foot on something small raised, that would get you access. Another way is to do it is on the bed with her rolled on her side and give her a good scrub from behind. This helps if modesty is the problem. just keep a towel over her and she won't feel exposed.
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BoniChak what if you haven't got a sitz bath? Or anywhere to put one? My mother slipped off her bathing cushion yesterday and I couldn't get her out of her (standard) bath. No joke at the time, though no harm done. I want to get a step-through bath installed but my POA sibs were cross enough about the $600 bathing cushion and will tell me it's not worth the money... One way or another, the poo is going to hit the fan before long!
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CountryMouse my mom lives in an independent living unit in an old building where they did a "tub cutout". She's got a standard tub with a cut in the side so that she can step in. It still has about a 3-4" lip on it to prevent water leaking out. I have no idea what it would cost to have someone do that, but it's one way to work around having a standard tub. I put a bench in there so she can step in and use a hand-held shower spray attached to her faucet.
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You can buy a perineal spray cleanser at any drug store or at any of the online suppliers. You spray it on and some don't even need to be dried off. google it.
You can also use the wipes after toileting and the spray as well. Sometimes sitting on the toilet gives the care giver more room to cleanse.
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As far as a sitz bath, I got a plastic dish that sits inside the toilet. You just sit as if on the toilet. I think I got it after giving birth. Ask the doctor or visiting nurse where to get it. Or go to a pharmacy that carries a lot of sick room supplies. I googled "plastic Sitz bath" and found several between $10 and $15. It's about 15" across, and 3" deep. You can use the hose and bag to create a water flow from front to back. It's not too bad for being splashy, and you can put it away under the sink when not in use. Use nice warm water and Mom will cooperate - I hope!
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Baby butt wipes are very good. If she has trouble getting in and out of the tub, ask the MD to send an OT to evaluate the setup, she may recommend grab rails clamped to the tub and screwed on to the tile. If she still has a bad smell after cleaning, have the MD check for a vaginal fungus.
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Please do not use bleach on frail elderly skin, people. Strong perfumes aren't great for them either, come to that. Nor alcohol, which most colognes are based on too...

Other than that, brilliant! :)
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As my mom progressed, first we got a bath seat that slides. (My 2 year old grandson called it the choo choo chair). You can order on Amazon. It has rails that go in the tub and out. It also pivots. Sit mom on, lift legs and slide on over. We added a hand held sprayer and washed her that way for a bit. We also used a peri-bottle to spray her off after toileting. More progression, bathroom not possible so we got a bedside commode. We left the bottom bucket off and we could bath her there. Put towels under it, glove up, and you have access underneath to all important parts ;-). We used baby wipes to clean her on the commode when changing pull-up pads. More progression, now we do bed baths (twice per week)...with no rinse soaps....One for body, one Peri needs. Mom has been totally incontinent for a long time but she never smells bad. We still use baby wipes for changing her briefs, and barrier cream to protect her skin (we started this when she became incontinent). Hope this helps
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