They said if i'm paying for private aid it will be considered a gift and what I need to do to avoid questions is to pay from my own monies and see her assets deplete. I know medicaid is an almost 100% certainty if she lives long enough. Any personal experience.
You don't give details about your Mom's age or her health condition. Medicaid varies by state, and so does the "look back" period for the application. They will ask for 3 months worth of information when you apply, but then if they have questions or suspicions, they can request info as far back as what your state allows. In my state of MN it is 5 years. Some states it is 2.5.
You may want to consider having your Mom reimburse you for when you paid for her aids, and this would need a solid paper trail of invoices and receipts. Hopefully you haven't been paying the aids in cash (in which case, don't bother with reimbursement as it will just look like gifting).
Make sure you are working with a certified elder law attorney who has lots of experience with Medicaid. I'm assuming your Mom lives in the same state as you, but if not, you will need to follow her state's Medicaid rules.
Do not pay with cash! Any cash withdrawl that can not be supported with a paper trail documentation will be considered non allowable expense and may subject your mother to a "penalty" phase before Medicad long term care goes into effect.
I highly advise to speak with a lawyer that is well versed in Elder Care and Mediciad long term care (in your mothers residing state). The process of spend down varies by state and each person has their own set of circumstances that are not cookie cutter answers you can get from a forum like this. You will need the guidance of an expert if your mother has assets that are above the states Mediciad long term care threshold, pension, social security and any other form of income.
If this lawyer you are posting about is an eldercare lawyer you will need to ask them specifically what they mean because I do not think you recieved accurate information. No person should be paying for the care of the parent if that parent has income and assets of their own and will need Mediciad Long term in the near future.
When your mother no longer has money, and requires and qualifies for, let us say nursing home care, then she can apply for Medicaid. Medicaid doesn't pay for in home care, but will cover what her SS doesn't cover for Nursing home. This will happen when she has spent down to the amount your state requires.