FIL is in memory care. His ATM card was disabled by hubby when it went to the center. Letting him have it was not an issue that way and if holding it made him feel better then why not, I mean he definitely finds comfort in holding/having the card. Disablement of his AMT card was actually at another's request but also, we were told/warned no valuables in center, so it just made sense to end it when he did. At the time he didn't qualify to even leave center yet there hadn't even been an initial set up meeting because the center was very behind. The center is all inclusive so there wasn't really anything for him to buy in memory care anyway. We have THAT ONE family member that just makes everything so much harder than it should be. He was taking Dad out of the center and not properly signing him out, not informing the memory care staff etc. Well because we didn't know they were even going out to eat when Dad wanted to pay for their meal the card was obviously declined which upset him, understandably. Before the care meeting was even done and as soon as meals out were discussed, we offered to reimburse for reasonable meals out with a receipt what/when it was for, but apparently that is not enough.... They are insisting he have access to his money, his brother is anyway. We feel like receipts are a no brainer because we were told we have to account for everything, and it MUST be spent on Dad for reasonable needs but I am getting a strong vibe he is not willing to provide receipts which is super hanky IMO. There are more complicated issues at play but the question really is what do YOU ALL to allow funds while still keeping track for accountability (and for us there is a side safety issue with diet too). It's not that we don't want to have a reasonable amount offered for him but we also don't want to be in trouble if it's not spent wisely. We can't do an ATM with a weekly allowance with his bank, only daily is an option, so if it got stollen or lost and say it had 60-100 daily limit we might not notice for some time and a lot could be gone. Cash is not wise for his needs, does anyone else have safe ways they do it? We will have to ask APS what amount is ok to lose without being in trouble but I'd love to know what others allot for LO's. Legally POA/Hubby is responsible for his safety and finances so finding balance with wats and needs is proving problematic and of course the one family member has made us the bad guy for everything that has happened just because we have to follow rules and he doesn't like the rules so erg such a pain in the backside. Thanks so much, ya'll I am so grateful to have this forum. I think it's kept me sane-ish....
He periodically complains about this set up and I'll do some print outs of the accounts so he can "go over expenses" but I have been trying to avoid giving him online access to the accounts (he has a bad habit of messing up a password on something, and then bashing his way into getting locked out) but he still complains (mainly to my sister, who takes his side! Fun!)
The nice thing about the debit card is that everything is tracked through the bank, so I can see what money is spent on. I keep careful records of anything spent on his behalf.
It's not perfect, but it's working (and he doesn't have a diagnosis, so I can't "keep him from his money" as he says, I can only try to help manage things so he doesn't give the info away to scammers or spend himself into the poorhouse on Amazon.com)
With the Bluebird, you can load weekly, daily, monthly or transfer $$ to/from the primary account as often as necessary depending on how tight you want to control the money flow. I have no answer to give on amounts as I have tailored each of my multiple subaccounts to the individuals needs. Some get a few dollars each day and others get larger amounts a few times a year as their various gifts -- all depending on their ability to handle their own finances. Check out www.bluebird.com if you want more info on what it offers.
She may be the last person on earth who writes checks for EVERYTHING. So having receipts is not a problem.
Maybe dad could use the checkbook receipt column to keep track of his spending. He writes down the amt he spends in the column where you'd write down the check amt. My friend is also terrified of the ATM card and if she has to use the card, she is very careful to write the amt down.
My bank is so on top of things, if I make a purchase that seems weird, they will text or call me before they OK it. I imagine your dad has the same basic spending habits, and so a charge of $200 to a women's clothing store, for example, would pop up as being 'wrong'. You'd need to contact the bank for that service, probably.
Not sure if these suggestions address your problems, but good luck!