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Growing up I had a great family and a good mother who was there and provided for us. Somewhere in the middle part of her life she began to change as a person, she became rude, judgmental, harsh, cold, hurtful...just to save the details she's downright no longer the good warm and kind person she used to be (towards the whole family)...to the point where if she wasn't my mother but a stranger, I'd actually despise her and want nothing to do with her. She's been this way towards my father and the rest of the family too, we've all noticed it. I've always tried to make it work, but over the course of the last few months things have built up and I think I am done. I've decided enough is enough and have distanced myself from her. She had a rough relationship with her own mother, her mother was cold and harsh too, and now shes turned into a worse version of her own mom. I'm having a hard time coping with it though, because I feel I've basically lost my mother whom I love. I can no longer look at her the same, I am uncomfortable around her, and I genuinely no longer respect her. I know many people go through life without having a relationship with a specific parent, but given that she's still in my brother/father's life, I'm wondering are there any tips or advice?

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Anytime there is a big change in a person, it should be checked out. If she is approaching or in Menopause her hormones can cause drastic changes in some women. Brain tumors...She needs to see a doctor.
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How old are you Ashley? And your parents?

I notice on your profile you state you are looking after your father at your home, yes? So where is your mother living?
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Ashley, I’m struggling with this as well but my mum is narcissistic.  On the other hand as previously mentioned your mother could have a medical condition that can be treated and your relationship saved. I hope you find resolution and comfort soon.
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My relationship with my mother went downhill after I moved in to help care for my father while he was dying. We were united in caring for him, but once he was gone there was no mediating force. Moving out has led to a much better relationship after my prolonged absence. If you can absent yourself for a while, it might help.
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Thank you Barb,
Yes I've thought about it, and honestly it could have been medical, but there's nothing we can do. I have discussed with my mother her changes before over the last few months, trying to gently bring it up to see what was going on, but when we express concerns she's dismissed us, and if we bring it up she becomes rude and we are ignored, or she threatens to leave us all and move somewhere on her own where according to her she'll be happier.
My father has opted to just let her be and thread cautiously around her, whereas I've been on the receiving end of her personality changes in the harshest of ways which I've tolerated but am at a wits end with. She also seems content as well to no longer have a relationship with me as well, we haven't had contact or communication for a little while now, so we're finished I suppose.
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Ashley, is there any thought that mom's change in personality might have a medical cause? Would you or any family member be able to accompany her to a doctor's appointment and point out the sharp change you've all witnessed?
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