I have established boundaries with everyday caregiving for my mother that work. However, I cannot seem to incorporate them with this moving situation and I do not have time nor wherewithal left to figure something out. And of course, my mother has stepped up her game to make this crisis not doable.
since finding out moms house is in foreclosure late November with an auction date of February 18 caused by none other than moms out of state brother and at the time POA and his deliberate mishandling of moms finances and accounts, I have been under a sudden, extreme amount of stress dealing with many many urgent things to clean up this mess and prevent us from being homeless. I found a buyer for the house last week and then after thinking we would have $35k from selling the house to put down on another place, come to find out Friday there’s a line of credit also with $20k owing on it so now we only have $15k to work with. Things are still doable except for my mother and her games. She is only 73, mobile with her walker, and very much in mental faculties. She understands what’s going on, that I and I alone have to handle it, that there is very limited time and options to make things happen, and I have sat down numerous times and calmly discussed the whole situation with her and that it is imperative that she does her little honey do tasks herself so I can take care of this mess. She understands and agrees, says she will and she has been worse than ever before with her neediness, games interrupting me when I’m on the phone or doing something toward trying to resolve this crisis, calling out from Her Chair saying she needs help when she just needs ice put in her cup which she can do herself, she’s been fake coughing constantly, I still haven’t found a place for us to live, I haven’t started packing a three bedroom house with over 44 years of contents, and she is just non-stop with messing with me. I am so stressed, frustrated beyond limitations, angry, scared, worried and solo that I’ve been having chest pains and my mind doesn’t feel right at times. Adult daycare may not be an option due to limited finances and her refusal to go. All I know is I cannot and it is not possible for me to get things done with her here 24/7. Suggestions?
I can’t just walk away and there isn’t family etc around to help; like many of us, I quit my job and put my life on hold to care for her which of course, gives me no income and total dependence on her for finances.
thank you in advance for replies.