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She has always been a mother to me. We have not always gotten along. She has always been in control of her life and now she cannot take care of herself in spite of thinking she can. Is there a way to convince her that she needs help?

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To Indalay52: I could have written your letter myself. My sister needs care also and will not admit to it. She is 91, very frail, refuses to go to a Dr, wants no visitors especially outside nurses. Gets belligerent at me. We were estranged for a long time. When we last saw her she did let us clean up, make lunch. She needs help paying her bills, bank deposits but is very private about money. How are u managing?
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Sendme2help, oh my gosh, I just saw that :) My drop down menu has roast beef and potatoes.

Wish we could edit after the fact :P
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P.S. I too have learned much from the articles mentioned here. They can help even experienced caregivers and their families. Even difficult circumstances can be overcome or better tolerated with support from this forum.
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Fregflyer I want to go to the "caregiver supper", where is it being served, because my drop down menu does not work! What's for dinner at your house?
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You don't give much info on the situation. Is she living in her home? How old is she and what are her disabilities? Is she mentally competent?
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You have encourage her independence as much as possible. Let her do the things for herself that she knows how to do. When my sister broke her back, I took the next flight out. First I fixed the remote for her adjustable bed. Then I suggested a raised toilet seat, she agreed so I got one. I asked her if she could wipe her own backside. She hadn't thought about that. So I got a bidet faucet attachment and installed it. She liked it. I put ski glides on her walker for her and she liked those. Always ask IF she wants something.
For example, sis did NOT want to take up her throw rugs. So I let that go.
When she got into her zero gravity chair, she could not get out, so a box placed behind it kept it from going all the way back. Always do things by suggestion and with permission. Preserve her dignity.
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For those who really believe that they do not need any type of help, all we can do is sit back and watch from the sidelines. Eventually they will realize that help is needed.

If you plan to be her caregiver, read up on her medical issues, learn everything you can. Go to the blue bar near the top of this page, and click on SENIOR LIVING... a drop down menu will appear, pick out what topics would help you. Now go to CAREGIVER SUPPER, and pick out topics from that drop down menu. It will help you know what will be coming down the pike for you.
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