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If ur afraid these people r in danger call the Office of Aging. They will check to make sure they have what they need.
Unfortunately, I don't think anybody truly understands the family dynamics of what went on with the children of these now elderly parents, that cause the devision in the family, but I do know that my husband's two siblings have done absolutely nothing in all this time to participate or aid and assist their father in his now aging life. It's sad, and despite my husband's best attempts, there's no getting through to his siblings, that their Dad would benefit from their love and attention, they just no longer care.
Over the 33 years I have been in my husband's family, there have been many painful secrets hidden and revealed, favoritism shown by the parents, that has made his family so dysfunctional and devided, that it has made me oddly more compassion about the situation and their lack of wanting a relationship with their Father, than the previous (years of) anger that I felt towards his siblings, it has taken me THAT LONG to even coming close to understanding this families dynamic! I guess some relationships cannot be repaired.
Still, coming from a very close and LOVING family myself, it still makes me very sad that kids don't care for their Elders, as that's how we were raised to be and Did right through to the end with our own parents.
Unfortunately, I don't think anybody truly understands the family dynamics of what went on with the children of these now elderly parents, that cause the devision in the family, but I do know that my husband's two siblings have done absolutely nothing in all this time to participate or aid and assist their father in his now aging life. It's sad, and despite my husband's best attempts, there's no getting through to his siblings, that their Dad would benefit from their love and attention, they just no longer care.
Over the 33 years I have been in my husband's family, there have been many painful secrets hidden and revealed, favoritism shown by the parents, that has made his family so dysfunctional and devided, that it has made me oddly more compassion about the situation and their lack of wanting a relationship with their Father, than the previous (years of) anger that I felt towards his siblings, it has taken me THAT LONG to even coming close to understanding this families dynamic! I guess some relationships cannot be repaired.
Still, coming from a very close and loving family myself, it still makes me very sad that kids don't care for their Elders, as that's how we were raised to be and Did, right through to the end with our own parents.
In our family, Mother lives with one brother. The other is a sweetheart, but his wife really keeps him on a tight leash and he stays out of mother's affairs. My two sisters are almost 100% MIA. They call once a quarter, or send a card. I live a couple of miles away and am mother's secondary caregiver. In fact, for the next 6-8 weeks I will be the primary, as brother is having major surgery and will be out for that time. I am not looking forward to it, but I do a lot for mother. And, come to think if it, for neighbors and friends too. I don't think I am unusual.
In truth--the 4 people I trust to take the best care of me would be my 4 sons in law. My daughters will be wonderful, but my son is MIA and doesn't care and his wife, while a wonderful woman, doesn't care, either.
And my MIA sibs feel zero guilt, for sure. I felt bad I didn't see mother while I was helping my daughter move from one state to another and was gone 10 days. My sisters will go months, literally, and they never call nor visit.
Caregiving, basic compassion--some people have it in them, some have none...or so it seems.
Some families just aren't that close and only see each other on special occasions, others are "in each other's pockets" and call or visit often. And were the parents people who visited them often, or did they do their own thing and expect family to come to them... sometimes when the pattern is broken it is hard to establish a new norm. It is also a sad reality that the longer the space between visits the more they drift apart.
Do the sons live nearby?
Do the parents need help?
Why won't the sons help?
If you could provide a few more details it would help people understand what kind of help you're needing.