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She called us to say that for her second night there, at a round 9 there is basically no nurses on the floor for nearly half an hour and that she heard some shady dealings going on between a male patient and some female nurses. She is asking for some pepper spray and I am wondering what my next step is to check out this situation.

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My first question here is has your grandmother been diagnosed with dementia? Even if she hasn't, if she's in rehab there's a reason for her being there. The stress of a hospitalization or a surgery can kick in dementia symptoms. Sometimes people get better, but often this is the beginning of cognitive decline.

I'm not saying that every rehab or nursing home is great. Many aren't. But the examples given seem to be very common misinterpretations made by people with dementia.

My advice would be to support your grandmother by letting her know that you're checking into this. You don't want to ague with her or make her feel bad by telling her that she's wrong. Letting her know that you are checking into the problem will help her feel supported. You may want to learn more about validating her feelings by reading this article or contacting your local Alzheimer's organization.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/validation-therapy-for-dementia-166707.htm

If there truly seems to be a problem in the rehab center, try talking with the social worker first, and then the administrator. You can, if you are convinced that this is a problematic center, try to get advice from a long-term care ombudsman. While rehab isn't long-term care, many are connected to ltc facilities. The place to look is www.ltcombudsman.org.

Good luck with your grandmother. She needs your love and support.
Carol
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Does your grandmother have dementia? Who has POA? When my mom, post stroke, was in rehab, she heard and misinterpreted almost everything she saw and heard. I spent a lot of time in the center as did my brother at different times of the day and night and got to know the staff. Nothing unusual was going on. One day, the nurse came in and gave mom her meds. With the nurse still sitting there, my mom said, you realise I have to get all my medications myself here. When I asked what she meant she pointed at her water pitcher. I said, mom, the nurse just gave you your meds. She looked surprised and said, really? So tread carefully here. Go and visit, ask questions, but understand that her perceptions may not be reality.
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Don't bring her the pepper spray.

My mom had the wildest delusions about goings on at the assisted living. She would dream stuff and think it was real. Had to be scary for her, even though it made no sense at all...but then really she seemed to think it was all just matter of course and was not that upset. I guess some of the tales made her feel better about herself, at least she was not as confused as THOSE other people doing REALLY weird stuff.

I hated it. Not much could be done, other than adjusting meds, and even then I was not sure if Mom really didn't have delusions anymore or just kept them to herself more.
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