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Mom has dementia and IBS. She is in a Memory facility already and nurses are great. But she is afraid of what may happen and be embarrassed. Has real anxiety. I have suggested "depends" but not sure if she just can't remember if she went or not; or truly feels she has to go all the time.

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She does not want to leave her room. Doesn't want to be embarrassed by going to dining room. I'm going to try the "depends" route and see if that may help put her at ease a bit. Thanks for the feedback.
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I believe many times the biggest help can be to say that it is okay, and that you can work with what's there. I wondered if she eats in her room or if she is able to make it to the dining area.
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Yes, is taking medicine for both the IBS (have tried multiple things) and taking med for anxiety. Trying to figure out that IBS has been a challenge for many years - I think the dementia is just making it worse. Glad to hear it is common. just wish I knew how to help her cope with it.
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She does have a real concern that is shared by many seniors who can become prisoners to their bowels or bladder. I remember when my father would not even attend my brother's funeral. He said he was afraid he would have to use the bathroom every few minutes, so he stayed home. The only answer that I can think of is trying to find something that works for the IBS. I know that is a tall order and people have probably tried. We can assure them that it is okay if they poop in their pants if they go somewhere. I doubt anyone can convince them of that, because I don't think anyone could ever convince ME of it.

If she is like many people with IBS, anxiety makes it worse. Is she taking anything for the anxiety?
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