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I caregive my Aunt (90yrs young), along with my parents (94 &95). My Aunt has had some health issues but we face them and now she has a Primary along with 5 Specialists. All of her Drs tell her she is in great shape, yet she says she doesn't want to hear that. Her blood work is that of a person in their 40's, she hears, sees, eats, poops, sleeps etc. YET, everyday there is something wrong with all that is being cared for. At 90 she had a total knee replacement. In 2 weeks time she was home from rehab, walking, able to bend her knee 100%, Dr, therapist etc...could not believe her. Almost one year later she now says the ortho put in too large a knee for her body. She doesn't want to walk, throws her leg so she doesn't bend it...went to the ortho and he said "you are better than you think you are"...she now does not like that Dr and said she did not like what he told her. Her cardiologist just told her the same thing..."you are in great shape...she now doesn't want to see him. She was just cleared for a "bladder pacemaker" for incontinance, all Dr.s said she was a "low risk" patient for any type of surgery. All went well and now during the trial period she is turning it off...like she doesn't want it to help her. I have run out of patience in talking her through these issues. I try and give her support and lead her towards looking at the positive. I feel like she sits and tries to think of ways to make herself needy, old and my main focus. Her mind is her biggest problem. I have puzzles, books, knitting, I take them out for drives, meals include them with my friends, eat dinner with them every night. I live with her 24/7 and have not taken any time away from them since 2008. Maybe, I have them spoiled and way too dependent on me...I am so tired of negativity?????

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Everyone, regardless of age, needs to socialize with people their own age. Sitting is the new smoking. Get her out of the house even if it's just to walk around the mall. Good luck!
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I have a best friend in her 60's who lately (past year) has a new health problem almost every time I speak to her on the phone. Some background: She is responsible for her 90 yr. old mother who stays in a nursing home. Her youngest daughter lives with them with her 6 yr. old autistic daughter. My friend's husband is cares for my friend but now has to drive most places. She has back problems, can only walk certain distances, has to sit. She had a stint put in one of her arteries, this summer, while in their pool, she hit the side of the pool with her left hand, 3rd finger and dislodged artery running down her hand, had to be operated on to fix. Newest problem , she can't ride for long distances in car( over 4 hours), her knees and legs become very painful. Traveling on a trip which took 7-8 hrs. now take 2 days. She has sewing hobbies but can't finish them because of her health problems. I'm concerned and would like to know what her real problem really is. Thank you for any information you can share.
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Thank You, I so appreciate your feedback. I have tried the "senior center" approach. I took all 3 family members and sign them up for meals, card games, book readings, music sessions etc. It lasted only a couple of times and they said they did not want to go anymore. My Aunt was the first to say it wasn't for her. My Mother is the only one that would love to join, volunteer get involved...however, she has Dementia and gets confused on her own. I have found a couple of outlets for her so she is good. Dad is content in his chair and doing errands with me. It is Auntie that is not a joiner, doesn't want to live anywhere else. She has a "her age" friend that she could do things with but she doesn't want to go. Her friend only comes and visits her here at home. I think I hear myself saying that I must take the "bull by the horns". This week I will take her to "Chair Exercise" and "Tai Chi" classes at church. THANK YOU FOR THE PUSH
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Get her involve with people her own age, through a senior center. Boredom causes them to focus on all kinds of maladies. Any kind of distraction or social activity will take her mind elsewhere.
You should definitely take time for yourself, and stop spoiling the patients. Good luck!
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It sounds like, outside of your loving companionship (and I'm not discounting that!) your aunt has little to do with herself. Are any of the following possible: senior center activities, volunteering to work with children who need to be read to; moving to an Independent Living facility or AL where there would be activites and other people her own age to socialize with? You've got a lot on your plate and you sound like you're doing a great job. But maybe something different is what she needs.
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