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Who is the POA? Police were called, said they cannot make her come home....Mom went to lunch with said "friends" and she is claiming she hasn't had a bath in two weeks...stealing her money, etc...now keep in mind she had a stroke and has been declared incompetent...has the mind of a 16 year old AND the things she claims ARE NOT true. She is mad because we had to put her house up for sale....I am at my ropes end....We have been working on finding assisted living or whatever is out there for her, and working with a therapist...but all this outside interference does not help her mindset at all...seems like we take 3 steps forward and 10 back....

It really bothers me that people who have only seen her 4 times in as many months think they know what is all going on...even the officer agreed that they should have talked to us first.....do I have any recourse with this so-called friend???

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Does she have her credit cards and checkbook with her? I would call her cards in as stolen and get an emergency freeze on all her funds right now.

What was your conversation with the police? Are they unwilling to bring your mom home if you feel she's in danger of being defrauded?
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Second case...don't trust this person...but was wanting mom to see her "friends" and no, I am not her guardian...she does and has lived with us since April...I feel so useless...so every time mom gets upset with me...she can run away from "home" How is that being responsible for her? What if something would happen to her while at this "friends" house? who by the way has 14, yes, count them, 14 children....which is where my mother is tonite...I have no clue where she will be sleeping...she left her meds, which I admit are earth shattering if she skips one night....but she left her little dog behind.....
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Chelann, you state that your mother has been declared incompetent;are you her guardian or are you "just" poa? It sounds as though you may need to pursue guardianship in order to safeguard her. At the very least, I'd make sure her bank accounts and credit cards are not able to be accessed by her or any "new" poa she appoints.

Where is she currently residing? Is she with these "friends"? Are they people that she's known for a long time, or are they people you feel maybe trying to take financial advantage of her?

In the first case (real friends with no ulterior motives), I'd be tempted to let them have a nice long visit which will give you some time to research secure facilities. I would be careful about putting her some place she can simply walk out if.

In the second case (suspected financial exploitation ), I would go to court and ask for emergency guardianship. And don't forget that as POA, you are spending mom's money, not your own on lawyers, court fees, etc.
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