Someone made a complaint to Adult Protective Services. Any advice?

Original poster here. Thanks, Cherrysoda, for your detailed and honest feedback. So far all is quiet. But I agree. I am an advocate for my mom and have gone toe to toe with her home health agency nurse and coordinator, as well as the home care agency many times (the one who sent the vindictive helper). I am fine with APS advocating for elders and protecting them. I just hate that anybody can file a clearly wrongful report and we have to go through the process. Now I choose my words very carefully with the helpers so they don't think I am exhibiting "don't care" behavior or any degree of caregiver burnout.

And right there is your answer, you p!ss off a doc, a nurse, a home health care worker and that's what they do to spite you, its their little payback and they do it ALL THE TIME. I know, I am a LOUD MOUTHED advocate for my senior, had protective services called 3 times in one year. 1. due to a crazy social worker and I mean bat sht crazy, 2. because I caught an aid chilling on my couch having a text fest while my elder was in the shower ALONE and obviously I had words for her on the way out the door and 3. because I had a phone argument with one of his nurses who DEMANDED I come to the appt and I said that I send NOVELS with him and am on the PHONE (speaker) when needed for most appts, you don't need my BODY there.

I was investigated each time as that is the law, I knew each time who filed the complaint, and I was extremely transparent. That's what you do with DCF. They found nothing and in 24 hours case closed. But its a HUMILIATION and EMBARRASSMENT and even anxiety when they call, or worse show up at your front door with cops in tow. And there is not much you can do to get back at the person who reported you, though you can report the agency to the state, its a form you can get on the web and then the state can do their own investigation. Much paperwork for revenge-I have better things to do with my free time.

So...there you go, know that anyone you hire as a caregiver, anyone at any docs office, nurses on phones are liable to pull this stunt just to make your life hell, and because they are angry people in the wrong field of work. Just roll with it, be transparent with any investigation and in 24 hours it's over, case closed...life goes on.

Oh and I have to mention this. My mom was very angry about being put in a NH. (and to this day I regret it) One of her stunts was to go to the office ph-she was so sneaky, and call 1 800 Abuse and say she was being abused by them over and OVER and OVER again. They almost kicked her out. So, just saying, even an angry parent can do this, and then look very innocent to your face. They are like little kids at times. (I am laughing over this now as my mom was my bestie and I think it was cute and smart-as she always used THEIR office phones as they were not at their post where they should have been. At the time-NOT funny. Now..a fond memory. WTG mom!)

I thought APS was supposed to speak to the elder alone with no one else there. Is this not true?

Adult protection services are very nice. I’m trying on getting my dad out of a health and rehab center. Adult protection service is trying to help me out now. Unfortunately, very difficult with communication with rehab center. Doctors, nurses, staff. It’s like a insane asylum or jail. You can go in normal; but, over a period of time you go insane and not rehabilitated and get worse.

I can understand the situation of juggling stuff and with having experience there is no episode of being a 24/7 caregiver twice. There is never the the same episode and also dealing with your own personal issues. My opinion is I'd try to stay away from hiring from any social media. I'm going through situation with my dad at 95. I describe he's suffers periodic Dementia and problem with his body mechanics. Don't feel bad. I'm in double digits with police officers and single with rescue. I'm on excellent rapport with Adult Protection Service. The police called them and interviewed him and me. I have close relationship with them and I keep in close contact with them. I hope they can help me out on this issue. I gotta get him outta of a senior adult rehab center. He don't like the staff and I don't either and have bad rapport with them vocal, and their body language. Neglect. If anything it's a rehabilitation center and he is getting worse there after he got shuffled from to 2 hospitals ended up at this rehab center. He feels he got dropped in parachute in wrong country and doesn't speak the native language and say's he would probably be better off in single cell jail cell and have better care. Best advice for a 24/7 caregiver is try to step back and to have a plan ahead given the worst scenarios and have a backup plan. In case first plan doesn't work; have other plan or plans given circumstance you try to foresee.

Isn't it sad that vindictive siblings have to waste important resources this way? Maybe it is guilt? When the investigator left the house the last time he told me that they actually love cases like this. They see elderly well taken care of. So often that is not the case.

A similar situation happened to me and my sisters regarding my 96 year old father, who has dementia. The social services worker appeared at my father's door and said a report was made to Adult Protective Services and she had a list of issues the reporting person had. After her visit and several phone calls to my sisters, the social worker said that the care we are giving our father was very good and the person reporting was probably mean spirited. We never heard from them again.

Adult Protective Services is looking out for your mom's best interests, as they should. That's how it works. If it was the nutty caregiver, then so be it as she is no more.

With the elderly its probably in danger to themselves. With dementia they appear to be incoherent to questions at times. Police called County Adult Protection. They’ve been extremely nice to me 3 times as well as total about 18 police officers that have been to house in 3 years. Unfortunately one day one came to house after I called to evaluate my dad. He had to go to hospital twice in ambulance last week and now in rehab.

I'm the original poster. Thanks, everyone, for sharing your experiences. I found out from another helper last night that the disgruntled helper was upset with me because I "cut" her hours to 40 a week - yes, she had been working some overtime, for which I was being charged. After the agency's rates went up early last fall, I told her I could not afford to having her do more than the 40 and paying her OT. I do remember she seemed kind of miffed and took it personally, not "getting" my predicament.

Re: the abuse. Apparently several of us had radar go off and were examining her for any bruises, etc. No one really found anything, but there could still be verbal abuse of course. Another lesson learned: absolutely go with your gut! My radar had been up for awhile, I had asked my mom about her (for what that was worth), and planned on making a change after a trip I am taking in February. Removing her gutted the weekday daytime schedule as she was there 4 of the days. However, the schedule has been revamped and she has helpers she knows and likes - and that I trust! So hopefully all is well.
I think the helper has been fired by the agency. Again thank you all.

I had the same thing happen to me. Someone "anonymous" who didn't have all the facts said I was abusing my mother. Yes, I was yelling at her but that is because she is deaf without her hearing aids, and she didn't have them in when this occurred (they had gotten "lost" in the ambulance ride to the hospital supposedly.) I was trying to talk to her about going into assisted living, after almost a year of back and forth between hospital and rehab constantly...she only spent 6 weeks at home the whole year. She, of course, was not happy about assisted living and was crying and carrying on...so from the outside looking in, I could see where someone could have gotten the wrong impression. But it was how the APS caseworker handled things that got me upset. They visited my mom in the hospital, without anyone else there present, and asked her questions and then they made judgments about me based on those answers. My mother was not well, could not hear (they didn't know that) so who knows what she said or how she responded. So I talked to my elder law attorney immediately, and he actually kind of laughed and said that if I had any more issues with APS, I was to direct them to him. Well, once I told them that, everything stopped. They were actually pushing me to turn over my mom's care to "the state" since I was having such a difficult time with her. I actually think they were trying to exploit the situation and saw an opportunity to take control of someone with some money. So beware of the folks that you talk to, and as someone else said, don't give them more info than they need. If something seems "off" with their questioning, tell them to talk to your elder attorney.

This happened to us while my parents were still living in PA. Someone came out, found everything fine, and left. He made the comment that when he goes out, he usually finds the situation either much worse than he had expected, or much better than he had expected--but seldom just about what he had expected to find.

If everything is fine, I wouldn't worry about it as the "case" will essentially be closed after the visit.

Even if Adult Protective Services comes Knocking at her Door to see More, If everything appears okay that Day, A Report would just be Filed anyways and for Future Reference, They would merely have it on Record.

Yes, tornadojan, I can help you! Same exact thing happened to me and needless to say I was stunned. Without going in to detail about mom - take my word for it she is practically living in the 'lap of luxury' in my home, care 2xday, concierge doctor, etc., etc.

We had a 19 year old Home Heath Aid, whom aside from having an attitude, thought she knew everything. Long story short, she didn't like the fact that my extremely frail 89 y.o. mother with vascular dementia - was not taken out shopping, taken to the movies, wheeled down the street, taken out to dinner (SERIOUSLY??!!), wasn't taken out on the lanai (this last I'd tried numerous times, but poor mom is at the point where even the trip to our family room causes much anxiety and agitation). She prefers to and is much more content to STAY IN HER ROOM. Period.

The aid questioned me about this a few times and I patiently explained the situation. Well, one day she started busting me about it...hands on her hip/attitude type of thing. Well, she wouldn't let up about it and I'd had enough. So I brought her the phone and told her that since she didn't like the way mom was being cared for, that I have mom's doctor (concierge doctor who comes to the house on a regular basis) on speed-dial and she's welcome to call HIM and tell HIM she doesn't like the way he and I are doing things. And I kept saying "here's the phone, go ahead call him..." She sat there speechless, turning red. The last straw was, when I very gently told her....in a sweet voice...that she's only 19 years old and barely has the life experience to know much about ANYTHING, AND that her brain wasn't going to be fully developed until she hit 25 years old anyway so perhaps she should think twice about dispensing advice. She got up, and before storming out bent over and said to mom "Good luck ... I hope you end up in a better place than this." I immediately called the agency, told them what just happened and got a replacement.

Well, the very next day....my door bell rings and there stands a little lady with a plastic name badge XXX from Adult Protective Services...I almost fell over. Said "You gotta be kidding me" and let her in. I quickly checked my attitude and said, "Let's start over...". I introduced myself, shook her hand and told her I think I know who called her. I calmly told her about the aid. She said she could NOT confirm that because it anonymous and I told her I understood. Then I told her with a smile that I'd gladly give her a tour and answer any questions she had. I treated her as a quest - a welcomed guest - primarily because that's the way I treat folks in my home, but secondly because I'd nothing to hide or be ashamed of (thank GOD I'd vacuumed the floors the day before)! I introduced her to mom who was happily watching tv and eating a snack with the new aid. There was also an emergency nurse there to check on mom's banged up knee that another aid (!) had caused. The APS woman chatted briefly with mom and checked out the room. I also voluntarily showed her mom's bathroom. She and I then sat down in the living room, and I offered her a beverage, and we had a chat. She asked about mom's meds., etc, and of course about me and how I felt about caregiving, etc. I was honest, but threw in a little humor which she 'got'. She was a very nice woman and told me she liked what she saw and that mom WAS being well cared for and that she would close this complaint out. Upon leaving she said that my 'guess about who had called was probably right'. I thanked her and she left. I've not heard from them since and it's been like 4 months.

My advice to you is be nice, and be accommodating - especially since you've nothing to hide. Some people ARE spiteful for whatever reason. Also, I know a woman who'd to let her dad with Alzheimers, ride his bike all over the neighborhood/in traffic. He had 24/7 care, too. Someone called APS about the bike riding and APS did go back and visit him again - 3 more times!

Good luck!

Had that happen to me
I just answered the questions, showed the house ( Thank God it was clean LOL) and one month later... got a call -- case closed!
Blessings
hgn

I have worked in state agencies since the early 90s and can tell you without hesitation that many people use us for revenge purposes. People who get mad at relatives, neighbors, exes, small businesses - they all like to rat them out to the authorities when someone displeases them. I'd say better than half the complaints are unfounded. They are all investigated, using taxpayer dollars, but few are actionable. My money is on the care giver who was let go.

If you can CYA, no problem.

Usually a family member or even a caregiver trying to gain control over the money, Mom and additional assets.

You won't be told who reported you, all CONFIDENTIAL.

If you haven't done anything wrong can CYA, you'll have a great laugh, receive a letter that nothing can be proved and go from there.

My step-sister tried this by reporting to the bank. I'm a retired banker, didn't do anything illegal and started laughing my a** off when I 'got the call'! Told the investigator to talk with my step-sister if she wanted to speak with the person who committed the fraud AND I knew it was her via the bank!!

Don't be afraid. They are not going to give you a lie detector test or hold a light in your face until you fess up.

Have fun with it, go with the flow and take your records.

Is there a chance that your confused mom called APS?

😀

Assuming all is as presented, I strongly suggest you try to remain calm. I truly doubt APS will do anything other than a light investigation which just means visiting w you, seeing the house, talking to a couple others who’ve been in the house. There are professionals who are “mandatory reporters” which means we are required by law to report any doubts. That does not mean APS will do anything. Try to think of the APS investigator as being on your side. You both want what is best for your parent. Perhaps that person may suggest something you can do to improve something for your mom? I know “remaining calm” is difficult right now. Keep doing what is best for your parent.

Don't worry if there is nothing to worry about.
It is possible that the report may have been on one of the outside caregivers and they are checking on your Mom to make sure everything is alright with her.
About the only thing I can suggest is ..
Answer the questions they ask you. Do not embellish or add extra details

I would have the caregivers schedule handy, with the days each worked, the hours each worked and if you keep a log for them to communicate with each other have that handy but if it is not asked for you do not have to offer it.

I would not worry until you find out what the investigation is about.
Actually that is not true...if I were you I would be worried, pacing, chewing my nails to the quick and wondering what is going to happen, what happened to prompt this investigation, I would not have been able to sleep from the time the first phone call came.....but none of that is going to help. So TRY to relax. They are doing their job...and I am sure they see some horrendous things . If you have done your best you have nothing to worry about.

The daughter of a friend said she thought the doc called since he wanted hospice but they werent ready. Daughter was a fulltime caregiver who also took my friend regularly to the doc and had a hired helper too.

My mom was home with 24/7 care & a cousins crazy behavior ( she was not a caregiver & was calling my mom’s Dr. saying my mom needed pain medication, of which I had no knowledge) prompted someone to call APS. We didn’t even know APS was coming, an investigator just showed up. There was nothing to it my case. The lady walked through the house making sure it was clean & there was food and utilities, saw that my mom was clean & dressed and asked her questions. We never heard from APS again. That was three years ago & this crazy cousin still causes us grief.

Don't panic. I wonder how many false alarms APS gets, but they are obligated to follow up legally. What a drag. Isn't it the damnedest thing, that you get help, and then by doing so you open yourself up to the risk of others knowing your business?

Someone in my support group had this happen, reported by a friend of his moms and baseless. He took it in stride and all was well, the worker could see there was no cause for concern. I do think the worker may have made a couple or three visits in a span of time, but they were brief...and one may have been unannounced more or less...but it was okay.

My guess is APS won't be able to reveal who called, but you can offer up the names of who you suspect pointing out their terminated status. Personally, I might consider a different agency altogether, unless mom likes the majority of the workers or there is some other pressing reason to stay.

And who is posting to FB? One of your own friends/acquaintances? That does seem like a stretch...good luck. Hope you post an update...

Someone could be just acting out of their own experiences not knowing all the facts.
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A Place of jealousy? Very possible. I too was reported by twisted sissies for financial exploitation, when of course nothing of the sort was occurring. And one of them KNEW it as she was mom's POA. So jealousy? Maybe greed? I will never understand the vindictiveness of some people, especially those twisteds.

When APS left the day he had closed the case, he gave me a hug, felt bad, and told me I was doing an excellent job. Also told me the reports, yes two of them, were nothing but vindictiveness and spite. All while I was providing the necessary 24/7 care.

That is so scary. We are doing home health right now and it’s been wonderful. I think I would collapse if someone complained about my caregiving, knowing that I am doing my very best to care for my mom. So glad things worked out for you.

Good that it is all behind you now. Look at the positive outcome here..you now have established a good relationship with APS.

There is a reason this was the only Caregiver your Mom was aggressive with. LESSON LEARNED here for us all. Despite our LO's condition their instincts are often very much intact. I strongly suspect she was abusing your Mother.

I have found as well that too many folks operate from a place of jealousy....plain and simple. And I don't think that the recipient of that behavior has any power to change it or somehow re direct it. Especially if you don't even see it.

I do hope you have valuables and anything of sentimental value locked away. best not to tempt ANYONE in this economy.

Don't be angry and don't be upset.

I expect you're right, and I expect slightly nuts caregiver who rubbed your mother up the wrong way was indeed the source of the report. But she is slightly nuts, plus QED not the most skilled caregiver, and you knew you didn't want her around anyway, and her complaint has been found to be groundless.

This is what is *supposed* to happen. The system is working. It's all good!

Thanks for the update, Tornadojan. I can totally understand how upsetting and unnerving this situation was, yet I am also glad there is a system in place to investigate all complaints, even baseless ones from a disgruntled ex-employee (as seems to be the case) like this one. I hope there is some comfort for you in that, and that you can put this unpleasantness behind you!