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Before sitting down for breakfast, my mother took her socks off folded them together and placed them next to her on the corner of the kitchen table. I looked at the socks in disgust, looked at her and said, "I would never do that. I would never put my socks from off of my feet on the kitchen table.." So she says the feet part aren't on the table." I said "It doesn't matter! A decent person wouldn't do that!" So she rolls her eyes and makes her angry face and sticks the socks under her shirt! Morning everyone!

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Early on, my husband’s odd or outrageous behaviors freaked me out too. My reactions were along the line of, “You cant be serious!” “What on earth were you thinking?” “Grown-ups don’t behave that way!” I was scared and disoriented.
Now I try to see the humor if the behavior isn’t dangerous or horrifying. I say TRY because I don’t always succeed. It’s way too easy to be shocked, then sad and defeated especially when you’re exhausted.
I appreciate your post and others like it because I see that bizarre behaviors aren’t at all uncommon and I’m not alone in my reactions, especially in the early days when living with dementia feels like living in a parallel universe.
It seems like the most experienced and best carers on this forum are usually able to keep calm and see the funny side yet give themselves grace when they don’t . I am learning to survive by their example.
I hope it’s not offensive to share outrageous or amusing experiences here; a little light on a dark day really helps.
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LOL Here. I live with four cats and that part of the kitchen with the table is their domain.

They know not to get on the table when I put on a new table cloth, but when I start loading the table up with water, grocery bags and the sorts, curiosity wins out all the time.

Sorry, I don't have any advice on socks on the kitchen table.

Patience is a virtue, and it's something that is wearing thin quickly with me at times.
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I feel bad for your mother with cognitive issues. A decent person??? I hope you find placement for her soon.
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
Actually her pcp has never tested her or found reason to test her cognitive function. I only guessed she has it not knowing what it actually is. She hasn't been tested yet for alzheimer's or dementia either. I feel she needs to be but her doctor isn't concerned.
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My hubby would put his baseball hat on the kitchen table. Eeeeek, but I would just quietly move it to were the hat belongs when not on someone's head. I felt it just took a couple seconds to do, and not worth an argument :)
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Evamar Sep 2024
Alva,
Well said as always.
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Can you get a small basket from 5he dollar store and label it for socks with a picture of socks? Keep it on the table.
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Don’t see correlation between socks and being decent.
Good thing hubs and I don’t wear socks often.
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
Are you crazy? It is indecent. We eat at the table!
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“And so much more” was part of one of your responses. The socks are the tip of the iceberg and (to me) emblematic of stress. This is a good web site to get help, information and feedback for caregivers.
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In one of your replies below you said that your mother has some cognitive issues, so if that is the case, why in the world would having her socks on the table even surprise you at this point? And why get upset over something so minor?
I mean it could have been a lot worse, as she could have instead brought you a piece of her poop from the toilet. Now that you could get upset over.
But until then, take a chill pill and learn to pick your battles. Not every molehill has to be made into a mountain.
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
To each his own. Its called cleanliness. To me one's dirty socks on the table where we eat is repulsive just as poop on a table is!
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I am so grateful for this question on AC at this time.
I so badly need a joke here, and the discussions joke column just isn't doing it for me.
Really, we have to file these under "things aren't YET too bad!".

The marvelous thing is that the "new thinking " is that from infancy we do not get enough germs. Especially true now that infants aren't even born out a birth canal often enough, but by sterile C-sections. They say best thing we can do for our infants is get a dog! Don't say to let it sit on the kitchen table, however.
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If this is something she does often put a plastic washable container on the table where she can put them with a label “ socks “.
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freqflyer Sep 2024
Great idea :)
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Good Morning!!

I apologize, for some reason seeing the title of this thread brought to mind President and Mrs Clinton's cat.
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AlvaDeer Sep 2024
My cat always went on the kitchen counter and tables. Wasn't called Socks either!
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My husband has left his socks on the kitchen table at times over the years! I can get upset and work myself up, or we can get into a fight, or I can ask him to please remove them from the table/floor and put them in the washing machine. My DH is THE most decent person I know, btw, he's just absent minded.

When you make a choice to live with someone, you have to overlook certain annoyances lest you become a burned out nervous wreck.
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
It's not easy and I'm a germophobe.
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If this is the worst it gets you’re amazingly lucky!
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AlvaDeer Sep 2024
Perfect answer.
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This would bother me, too. Does your mom have cognitive issues?
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
Yes, most definitely
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Are you sweating the little stuff?
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Ohmymy Sep 2024
I know..and oh theres more, much more.
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