Follow
Share

I have called and called and called a company called Heartland to ask for the social worker assigned to us to come to the house and help us. I have found out from the nurse from Heartland that the daughter in law of the person I care for phoned Heartland and spoke to the social worker, and instructed all the staff NOT to talk to us. Since then, 2 weeks ago, the bank statement arrived today. Forty thousand dollars is gone. One was cash withdrawn and the other was a check. I am the carer. But I don't want to get involved in their family issues/dysfunction. Even though the son is the POA, there was no need for the money, nor any instruction to have 40G go to the son. this person I care for needs that money to survive. Who can I call for help, the police? Because Heartland has let us down.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
the person I cared for contacted a lawyer. I also told the grandson what had happened. And I told him, I don't want to get involved, but I'm being asked to drive to the bank and lawyer etc. So I repeated, "I don't want to get involved." Yesterday the grandson came here and told me that he and his mother (the daughter of the elder) offered to pay me to care full time.
For all the work I do for this person, it never exhausts me. However, the POA stresses me out and exhausts me mentally. I keep begging the person I care for to speak up to the son because I'm tired of speaking for them. It's time for them to speak up while they still can.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What you're saying doesn't make sense from a financial standpoint. If the son and DIL sell the house, that money will go to paying for your friend's nursing home bills. They won't get it. I agree with Rainmom that you don't have much of a legal leg to stand on. If your friend is capable, she needs to be pursuing this. If she isn't, then there may be good reasons for the son and DIL wanting her in a nursing home.

People could look at the situation and believe that you are just looking out for your own self interest in staying in the house. How old is the woman we're discussing here?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Harry - I'm sorry I'm going to be blunt here. From a legal standpoint this really isn't any of your business and you are in no position to be asking questions. In fact, think I may react as the DIL did - I wouldn't want any of my mothers business discussed with anyone without my permission- especially if this person is not a member of the family. If your care recipients only issue is mobility they need to be the person pursuing this - if that is what they wish to do. Why aren't they handling this?

It's admirable you're caring for your neighbor and are interested in protecting them but this could become a real mess with you coming out on the losing end.  If you feel you have to do something, report your suspicions to Adult Protective Services in the county where you neighbor lives. However, I must say that while they may in fact, look into the situation, I doubt if they'll tell you much either. 
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I found this article here
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-financial-abuse-exploitation-prevention-137716.htm

that says to call an elder abuse line. But the link doesn't go anywhere.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

this was a neighbor I used to clean house for and do light yardwork and take grocery shopping. Reminded me of my grandparent that I was so close to 40 years ago. We get along so well. The community here, the neighborhood, really watches out for their elders. There are little buses that drive the elders to and from appointments, they help fix things in the homes, lots of activities. I lived next to my grandmother here and watched over her, but we had to put her into assisted living. So I offered to live at this house - rent free- and help out now that my grandma was leaving. The person I care for was able to cook, do laundry, mail, bills, etc. I only had to clean the house. We watched all the same shows and got along so well... until the son and daughter in law got suspicious of me. I told them how I had impeccable references from all over the neighborhood, and to do a background and financial background check. They did nothing. But the daughter in law - for months - would whisper in my ear how it's time to put her in law in a nursing home. I'd get very offended that. I don't want to leave. I asked for pay but the son and daughter in law got REALLY angry. I told the person I care for that I'd have to leave, but they're begging me to stay and is offering to pay me. That is the reason I called the social services visitor, Bob, to come and help us arrange something in writing. That is when I learned he was told by the daughter in law not to talk to me anymore.
My suspicion has always been that the son and daughter in law (who are on the title of the house) want their parent in a nursing home, and to sell the house. So as long as I'm here, there is help and we can stay here. IF I leave, off to a nursing home for my friend :(
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Are you being paid for the care-giving job you are doing?

If you are not being paid, I think you should consider leaving this position and getting a paid one elsewhere.

You are clearly a skilled worker and could earn a good wage elsewhere. Why would you put of with this?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I live with the person. I'm the (unpaid) carer. The son is the POA, and he's the one who took the money without permission. after this person I cared for was release from a brief stay at hospital, Heartland sent a nurse, an aide, a PT, an OT and a social worker for 5 weeks. But when the daughter in law phoned the social worker, that social worker called us here at the house and asked for permission to speak with the daughter in law. Person I care for said no twice, then on the third time the social worker begged for permission, they relented and said yes. It was then that we think the daughter in law said, Don't talk to the person who lives and cares for my relative - even though the daughter in law is not the POA. In the meanwhile, the person I care for has full capabilities and full faculties - just poor mobility. So they are able to make their own decisions and pay their own bills and take care of everything. Thanks for helping.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

So you are calling on behalf of your friend, is that right? Do you have POA (Power of Attorney) for that person? Does anyone? If you're not a relative and you have no legal relationship, I'm not surprised they're not calling you back. Can your friend call (with you on the line as well)? If I'm not understanding the situation, please tell us more so we can offer good advice.

And more importantly, who is Heartland and what is their relationship in this to you or the person you're calling about?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.